"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." -- Il DuceBag, May 12, 2008.
The Bush White House delivers a memo to its gpuke lackeys suggesting talking points to use in describing the past eight years of rainbows, puppies, and magical unicorn farts:
In case any Bush misadministration officials have trouble summing up the boss' record, the White House is providing a few helpful suggestions to catapult the propaganda.
A two-page memo that has been sent to Cabinet members and other high-ranking officials offers a guide for discussing Preznit GameBoy's eight-year tenure of disaster during their public speeches.
Titled "Speech Topper on the Bush Record," the talking points state that Tipsy McStaggers "kept the American people safe" after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks -- which occured on his watch -- lifted the economy after 2001 through tax cuts to the rich -- durrrr? -- curbed AIDS in Africa and -- *cough choke * -- maintained "the honor and the dignity of his office."
A two-page memo that has been sent to Cabinet members and other high-ranking officials offers a guide for discussing Preznit GameBoy's eight-year tenure of disaster during their public speeches.
Titled "Speech Topper on the Bush Record," the talking points state that Tipsy McStaggers "kept the American people safe" after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks -- which occured on his watch -- lifted the economy after 2001 through tax cuts to the rich -- durrrr? -- curbed AIDS in Africa and -- *cough choke * -- maintained "the honor and the dignity of his office."
Gawd. Dude, if you have to tell people you have honor and dignity, you just don't.
The document presents the Bush record as an unalloyed success.
It mentions none of the episodes thatdetractors say have marred his presidency: the collapse of the housing market and major financial services, the flawed intelligence in the run-up to lying about WMDs to get us into Iraq, the federal response to Hurricane Katrina or the abuse of prisoners at Abu Ghraib, the thousands killed and maimed in his vanity war.
It mentions none of the episodes that
... How he totally blew off the PBD "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in the US"... the illegal wiretapping of US citizens ... Enron ... connecting Iraq to the war on terrr (one of the hardest parts of his job, you know) ... outing a CIA agent... believing that, as quickly as possible, young cows ought to be allowed to go across our border ... that too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country...
The document is otherwise silent on the recession, which claimed 533,000 jobs in November alone, the highest number in 34 years.
It closes with this whopper:
"Above all, George W. Bush promised to uphold the honor and the dignity of his office. And through all the challenges and trials of his time in office, that is a charge that our president has kept."
Oh my god NO. No, no, no. No. Wrong. No. Major fucking faceplant.... No.
"There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on -- shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again." -- Preznit Lawn Ornament, Sept. 17, 2002.
"Now, there are some who would like to rewrite history -- revisionist historians is what I like to call them." -- Droolers von Pretzal, June 16, 2003.
"And I, unfortunately, have been to too many disasters as president." -- yeah. The Dictator-tot, June 17, 2008.
Dance, monkey, dance!
Thank god this is almost at an end: "children who once wanted to die are now preparing to live."
Bushisms from here.
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