March 12, 2009

America's sweethearts break up

Levi Johnston and Bristol Palin, the teenage daughter of moral-values-party icon Sarah Palin, have broken off their engagement, about 2 1/2 months after the couple had a baby.

Johnston, 19, told the AssPress that he and his 18-year-old baby mama mutually decided "a while ago" -- like, right after the election, dude -- to end their relationship. He declined to elaborate as he stood outside his family's home in Wasilla, hawking 'baccy 'n' bubblegum at the family moose.

Conservatard outrage in 3... 2... 1... and there it is! It's the media's fault!