March 24, 2009

GOP to Cheney: "go piss up a rope"

"Please don't shoot us, but you're not helping, really," cowering rethugs tell the deranged cyborg from behind a protective concrete slab.

Congressional republicans are imploring Dick Cheney to go back to his undisclosed location and leave them alone.

Displeased with the former vice-president's recent media appearances, rethugs say he's hurting GOP efforts to "reinvent itself" after back-to-back electoral drubbings and its daily WATB carping, moaning, obstructionism and hyperpartisanship.

The veep, who showed a penchant for secrecy, torture and using the Constitution as a buttrag during his eight years in the White House, has popped up in media interviews to defend the Bush-Cheney record which everyone knows was a total fucking disaster.

Rep. John Duncan Jr. (R-Tenn.) said, “He became so unpopular while he was in the White House that it would probably be better for us politically if he wouldn’t be so public."

Another House Republican who requested anonymity said Cheney is not helping the GOP cause.

The legislator said Cheney, whose approval ratings were lower than the flaming failure that was Preznit Lawnornament, didn’t think through the political implications of going after Obama.

Cheney did “House Republicans no favors,” the lawmaker said, adding, “I could never understand him anyway.”
Cheney’s office declined to comment for this article.

(Slightly paraphrased for clarity)

7 comments:

Grandpa Eddie said...

I have only one thing to say......


BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Capt. Bat Guano said...

They keep using the term reinvent. Hey Goopers, It doesn't mean what you think it means. Repackaging ten pounds of shit into a different looking 5 pound bag isn't "reinventing" any thing.

Beaverboy said...

Cheney claims to have a man sized safe.
I bet the GOP are wishing he'd put it on and quit splooging all over them with his string of pearls of wisdom.

The GOPs mixed messages seem to be pulling them in every direction lately.
This could cause a big 'snap' resulting in little bits of Repugs scattered all over DC.

Even a Super Sham Wow couldn't get those marques of skid out.
Why is Lincoln stinkin'?
Out damn spot, out.

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