"It looks like they're building a budget molecule!"
Budget "outline" written on Post-it note generates mirth, scorn from media:
Reporters -- mainstream, liberal and conservative -- greeted the Republican document with a collective scoff.
"Are you going to have any further details on this today?" the first asked.
"On what?" asked the tiny-bonered... ummm, minority leader John Boehner.
"The... fark... ing... bu... dget," the reporter replied slowly.
"There's no detail in here," noted another.
Answered Boehner: "This is a blueprint for where we're going. Are you asking about some other document?"
"Yeah, the one regarding YOUR MOM," replied the questioner, exasperated.
A second reporter followed up: "What about some numbers? What about the out-year deficit? What about balancing the budget? How are you going to do it?"
"We'll have the alternative budget details next week," promised Boehner.
"Well, what the holy fuck is taking you so long?" replied the St Pulchritude Herald-Times.
A third reporter, noting President Obama aimed to cut the deficit in five years, asked Boehner, "What's your goal?"
"To do better," said Boehner.
"How? How much?"
"You'll see next week."
"Wait. Why not today? Because he asked you to present a budget."
"Now, hold on," said Boehner. "The president came to Capitol Hill and laid out his blueprint for his budget during the State of the Union. He didn't offer his details until days later."
"In general, where do you see cuts coming?" the Huffington Post asked.
"We'll wait and see next week," he said.
Another reporter reminded Boehner that he has "criticized Democrats for throwing together a stimulus quickly and nobody knew what they were voting on. Are you saying that your budget will be unveiled on the same day that the House is expected to vote on it?"
"No, I expect it'll be out next week," he said, though the House is expected to vote on the budget next week. "But understand that a budget really is a one-page document. It's just a bunch of numbers."
While it was thin on specifics, it does include one major policy proposal: a huge tax cut for the wealthy.
"Are you going to have any further details on this today?" the first asked.
"On what?" asked the tiny-bonered... ummm, minority leader John Boehner.
"The... fark... ing... bu... dget," the reporter replied slowly.
"There's no detail in here," noted another.
Answered Boehner: "This is a blueprint for where we're going. Are you asking about some other document?"
"Yeah, the one regarding YOUR MOM," replied the questioner, exasperated.
A second reporter followed up: "What about some numbers? What about the out-year deficit? What about balancing the budget? How are you going to do it?"
"We'll have the alternative budget details next week," promised Boehner.
"Well, what the holy fuck is taking you so long?" replied the St Pulchritude Herald-Times.
A third reporter, noting President Obama aimed to cut the deficit in five years, asked Boehner, "What's your goal?"
"To do better," said Boehner.
"How? How much?"
"You'll see next week."
"Wait. Why not today? Because he asked you to present a budget."
"Now, hold on," said Boehner. "The president came to Capitol Hill and laid out his blueprint for his budget during the State of the Union. He didn't offer his details until days later."
"In general, where do you see cuts coming?" the Huffington Post asked.
"We'll wait and see next week," he said.
Another reporter reminded Boehner that he has "criticized Democrats for throwing together a stimulus quickly and nobody knew what they were voting on. Are you saying that your budget will be unveiled on the same day that the House is expected to vote on it?"
"No, I expect it'll be out next week," he said, though the House is expected to vote on the budget next week. "But understand that a budget really is a one-page document. It's just a bunch of numbers."
While it was thin on specifics, it does include one major policy proposal: a huge tax cut for the wealthy.
(Parts slightly rephrased for clarity)
OMFG. The whole flailathon was so fucked up it made even other conservatives unhappy:
Also, this episode could end up creating a rift in the GOP over how to combat the Obama White House. After all, Senate Republicans wanted nothing to do with an alternative, and now Mitch McConnell, et al are either laughing at their House GOP colleagues, furious at them, or both.
Mwwwahahahahahaha. Update: rethugs say they will release actual numbers sometime next Wednesday.
April Fool's Day.
Pic from here!
3 comments:
As usual, the party of NO has absolutely NOTHING!
Well except for enormous tax cuts for those poor rich folks (to be paid for by the REAL poor folks).
Oooooooooooh yes, further into the quicksand they sink.
Lines, balls, words.
Hey, we're the ideas party.
We'll contract out the details to KBR.
Power pointy headed thinking at its finest.
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