May 26, 2009

Reboobs panicking over Supreme Court pick

Senate republicans are swallowing their tongues and tightening their sphincters over Prez Obama's pick of Sonia Sotomayor, because of the political dangers of attacking a) a Hispanic, b) a woman, and c) a Hispanic woman.

Some aides acknowledge the need to tread delicately around Sotomayor as well, given that she would be the first Hispanic justice at a time when the GOP has lost Latinos as a critical constituency.

Rethuglicans could doom themselves to long-term minority status if they are perceived as preventing Ms. Sotomayor from becoming a judge, says an ex-Bunnypants advisor.

“You’ll have a bunch of white males leading the charge against a Hispanic woman and everybody from this day forward is going to know she’s totally qualified. It’s a bad visual. It’s bad symbolism for the Republicans.”

The Grand Old Obstructionist Party has been embroiled in a public argument over whether to tend to the ideological interests of its conservative, looney base or to expand its appeal to a wider variety of voters in order to regain its strength following the humiliating defeats of 2008.

“The GOP has to make a stand,” said Scott Reid, who worked on Bob Dole's 1996 presidential campaign. “This is what the base and social conservatives really care about, and we need to brand her a godless Islamocommiedefeatohomofascist socialist who kills babies and is probably a lesbian."

But some Republicans warned that the image of Republicans throwing a roadblock before an historic nomination could prove politically devastating.

"If Republicans make a big deal of opposing Sotomayor, we will be hurling ourselves off a cliff,” said Mark McKinnon, a senior adviser to Disaster McDumbass and a long-time advocate of expanding the party’s appeal. “Death will not be assured. But major injury will be.”