July 23, 2009

Hikin' the ol' Appalachian Trail takes a lot out of a man

Exhausted from his tight schedule of dodging minions, furtive overseas travelling and mistress-wrangling, repug Gov. Mark Sanford has decided that a two-week European vacation is exactly what he needs to unwind. Never mind the fact that he and his wife, ol' whasshername, just returned from a five-day out-of-state trip Monday night.

[The European] trip also is the fourth time Sanford has left the state on personal travel in the last six weeks, including his mid-June trip to Buenos Aires to bop the bejeebus out of his busty boofykins.
Bonus: he pins the latest fiasco on his kids:
Sanford said he considered canceling the trip, but that his children had raised money to help pay for the excursion by selling lemonade.
Good fucking gravy. Under a huge American flag, no doubt. While "My Country Tis of Thee" played from loudspeakers on the front porch. Next to th' spittoons. And how much fucking lemonade do you have to sell to pay for a 2-wk family trip to Monaco, for crying out loud? If I could sell lemonade like that I'd quit my day job. Honestly.

4 comments:

Chunklets said...

Wow. That guy is completely oblivious, isn't he!

big em said...

What knowledgeable 8 yr old (much less an adult), could believe that?? You ever get the feeling that people that listen (and purport to believe) to this crap are NOT interested in speech that will PROVIDE intelligence/insight, but rather they're interested in words/speech that will crowd-out/EXCLUDE that kind of talk so that their unspoken agenda can prevail...

Beaverboy said...

Well isn't it obvious?
The kids were just practicing that age old repug custom of money laundering.

1. Put a big old wooden box under a shady tree by the sidewalk.
2. Set up a tall glass pitcher of iced lemonade and some glasses.
3. Add a cute hand painted sign on cardboard - LEMONADE $5,000.
4. Then sit back and wait for those black Escalades with the dark windows to stop by.

Works every time and remember kids, Coburn likes those added bits of real kitten and Ensign always wants his in a Summers Eve bottle.

Chris Vosburg said...

Laughing my ass off, Beaverboy, and you'll note that in salute to your good work, I didn't acronymize my praise.