July 29, 2009

Lowering the bar

The ironically-named American Thinker continues to give Americans, thinkers a bad name. Here, some deluded bint (who seems to be masquerading as "printboy" at fark) one-handedly pecks out a paean to slackjawed dodo Caribou Barbie:

Sarah Palin's Farewell Address as Governor of Alaska Sunday was no farewell address at all. It was just the beginning; it was a commencement address. Her speech embodied what a great American sounds like, and what a President ought to sound like.
The fuck? And weren't she and her hubby members of the Alaska Secessionist Party?
First and foremost, she thanked our brave men and women defending this great nation and ripped the media, warning: "You represent what could and should be a respected, honest profession that could and should be a cornerstone of our democracy. Democracy depends on you, and that is why, that's why our troops are willing to die for you. So, how about, in honor of the American soldier, you quit makin' things up?"
How fucking articulate. Oh, and when exactly did anyone make up shit about her again? How about, in honor of the American soldier, you quit makin' things up, you imbecilic bumpkin. The both of you.
There was no way she could stay on as Governor, as she was unable to fulfill her duties while the leftists in America had her tied up in bogus lawsuits (all of which she won).
What "leftists"? It was the repugs in her own state. And with that record, or if she had done nothing wrong, why quit as governor?
The left is calling her a "quitter." She is just the opposite, my friends. Sarah Palin is a fighter, a winner. And she is getting into the fight.
Earth to asshole: she quit. How does quitting = fighting?
Sarah Palin is a Great American.
Oooooh, in caps! Unfortunately, she spelled 'grate' wrong.
She is the leader Americans need. She is the leader the tea parties need. In closing, Palin said, "G-d bless America." Have you ever heard Obama utter those words?
*cough choke* Oh good God. It amazes me that people take idiots like these so seriously. Is this rag actually written by and for elementary-school kids? Maybe they should get some professional help. From the editors of Tiger Beat.