August 31, 2009

HELL in the mirror

So, see the li'l bear over there on the right side top of this page? That's pretty much me. Except I'm not white, I'm blonde, and I'm bustier, and I wear make up, and..........well it's not really me at all, EXCEPT FOR THE DRINKY POO.

I lub my Martinooos, and I DO carry his "tude" frequently.

But NOTE HOW HE'S NOT SMOKING????
That's me too.
I quit a week ago.
HOLY FLIPPIN' CAKES ON A SPOON!!! WHAT a MAMMOTH pain in the ASS THAT IS!!! to just QUIT smoking. wow.
it's like being at total war with your body. it's like the worst emotional pain you ever went through ever, and it NEVER goes away. Except that it does go away, but when you are in the "trenches", it's like FOREVER HELL.
And the reason i bring that up is this, (thanks for hangin')......
EVERY STINKIN' TIME i SEE Dick "dick" Chainey (i KNOW how to spell his evil name, sign of the cross and whispered prayers) i want to go SMOKE SOMETHING that makes tobacco or wacky weed seem like FRESH AIR!!!! what's that stuff, oh yeah!, GUN POWDER!!!
i dunno what, but i want to PUT SOMETHING IN MY MOUTH, AND LIGHT IT ON FIRE.
AND DRINK MORE, AND HIRE RESTRAINING PEOPLE,
cause the non violent in me just LEAVES THE BUILDING.
WTF is that asshat doing on the air, and esp. during the week after I QUIT SMOKING?????!
And he needs to take "baby dick" with him (Liz, doncha know) and get the fuck outa my country, cause his chit is NOT what my dad fought for in WWII. He's a affront to all I was raised with re being an American and a human being and a Godly, loving soul. HE'S ANTI ALL OF THAT!!
and what does the great press of this country do????
GIVE THE UNHOLY FUCK AIR TIME.
jebus,
I'm gettin another martooniii, how bout you?
What part of
"Chainey's owned the President's wife's family once in history" does Obi NOT GET????
Dude is just evil and needs to go to his maker already.

He sure is good for my local liquid store owner, tho. Dude prolly smokes a cigar every time Chainey rears his blasphemous head cause he's lookin' at a certain return of my sweet arse through is door again!
chit.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's a dog, not a bear.

Lovetta said...

I quit 14 weeks ago ...Its hard ,and it sucks.I want some of that cig money for my 30yr. habit.

Jim said...

*chews another nicorette*

Anonymous said...

Hey Siri... I smoked ***hard*** for 10 years, and when I quit (30 some years ago), it was a m*th**f***ing bitch. Also the smartest thing I ever did. But I'd gladly light up one, or ten, and inhale deeply, provided I get to put the butts out on that butthead's forehead.

Don Myers said...

Siri, love, you need to watch a few episodes of 'Family Guy' and familiarize yourself with the dog, 'Brian Griffith', who, on the show, walks upright, drinks martinis, TALKS with the rest of the cast. No one seems to think this is the least bit unusual.

BTW, welcome to Maru's blog.

Don

Don Myers said...

Siri, love, you need to watch a few episodes of 'Family Guy' and familiarize yourself with the dog, 'Brian Griffith', who, on the show, walks upright, drinks martinis, TALKS with the rest of the cast. No one seems to think this is the least bit unusual.

BTW, welcome to Maru's blog.

Don

McAllyn said...

Brian the dog from Family Guy smokes and drives a Prius.


and is in love with the mom, Lois.

alyssa said...

There will come a time when you don't trail behind a smoker sniffing longingly. I promise. Hang tough.

Anonymous said...

LOL! Thank you all for the kind words of welcome, the support for the not smoking thing and Don & McAllyn, for the intro to Brian Griffith! I burned out on all animation when I raised a child once in my life, so really had NO idear who the dog is....but I must check him out one of these nights. I always did love a dog who drinks!
siri

Anonymous said...

Thank you: I needed a good rant today :)

big em said...

Siri
Congrats on your entry to Maru's inner-sanctum! I won't even ask what the initiation rites consisted of, this being a 'family-values' site (Osbourne family, me thinks!)
FYI - "Family Guy" has some really GREAT satirical moments (primarily with a left/liberal viewpoint), and it's insanely irreverent -- definitely not kids' fare. It's kind of like "The Simpsons" on crack and jumps around a lot -- the minimal plot is often punctuated with non-sequitur segues into bizarrely exaggerated but often humorous fantasies -- OR even non-animated clips of Conway Twitty singing?? The dog Brian and Stewie the 'baby' are the two funniest characters, in my 'umble opinion. It's a guilty-pleasure of mine, though some of the more graphic depictions may call for a brief channel-change.

Anonymous said...

Not that it matters, but it's Brian Griffin, not Griffith.

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