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August 3, 2009

Invest in Kleenex futures now!

The sequel to the conservatard masturbatory fantasy Red Dawn starts shooting September 8th.

6 comments:

BadTux said...: Uhm, so, err, have they noticed that, well, the Soviet Union doesn't exist anymore?! WTF? Might as well shoot a movie entitled "Green-White-Red Dawn" where millions of Mexicans invade, trampling our border guards under their sandaled feet while mariachi music blares and tipping their sombreros at the terrified white citizens of the USA. Oh wait, that's Lou Dobbs' show on CNN, already done, my bad!

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin; 3:57 PM
big em said...: Even when the ORIGINAL 'Red Dawn' came out, I couldn't even entertain the idea of seeing it - -the premise was SO-O-O fucking ludicrous! The Soviet and Cuban (CUBAN?? As from Cuba, one of the smallest countries around, hobbled by decades of a US embargo??!) troops attack the US in Denver!?! Nearly the geographical center of the US? What attacker (other than a suicide-attack) would EVER drop into the center of the world's strongest military force?? And why wouldn't any US military air power prevent them from flying over the border? Hell, any significant military power would be all over a small invasion force like that in minutes - - days at the most!

And then the idea that random teenagers are going to successfully fend-off trained soldiers???? In the mountains in the winter??? Yeah, that's realistic, but you'll have to excuse me because I have to go read the 'Penthouse letters' for realistic information about womens' sexual attitudes...; 10:30 PM
BadTux said...: BigEm, I saw it on television when I was a teenager. I certainly wouldn't have paid to see it. I, too, was baffled about how all those Soviet troops got to the USA at all, given that the U.S. had a 500 ship navy at the time and the Soviet navy was maybe 50 actual combat ships total outside of submarines. What'd they do, walk on water? I didn't even think about unlikelihood of the Soviet troops marching into Denver, because I was still stuck on, "how'd they get to the USA in the first place? Star Trek transporter?!". I mean, we got these things called OCEANS on pretty much all sides of us (if you include Canada and Mexico as "us", which you could do during the Cold War).

Then came the part where the jocks started an insurgency. Look, I was a geek. I knew plenty of jocks. They were all dumb as bricks. And I was a bit of a war nerd too, and the whole insurgency and counter-insurgency was ludicrous. I mean, I *know* how the Soviets conducted counter-insurgency. They didn't bother with the niceties, they just deported half the people to some other place including all the military-age males (who ended up in Siberian work camps), imported half a population from some other place of whom a huge percentage were members of the security forces, and problem solved. They didn't do that silliness in the movie of trying to put out an insurgency with random brutalities, when they wanted to be brutal, they were BRUTAL, nuclear bomb brutal insofar as effect on population was concerned. There wasn't anybody LEFT to be an insurgent after that.

So anyhow, the original movie was terrible. I doubt the sequel will be any better. It's as if being a right-wing movie maker turns you into a moron. Oh wait, "right-wing" and "moron" in the same sentence... that's sorta like saying "stupid moron", kinda redundant, hmm?

- Badtux the Movie Critic Penguin; 10:45 PM
big em said...: Yeah BT - and we're not even mentioning the spy satellites that both countries had/have that can reportedly resolve things the size of a auto license plate from their orbits. Much like the Cubans and their Russian missiles back in 1960(as just one declassified example), countries can't really get away with much above-ground stuff for the last 50+ yrs without foreign intel noticing. It'd be virtually impossible to mask a movement of a significant amount of troops like that!

I think this is one of those wierd fantasy-based movies with a reality setting -- kinda like another favorite example absurdist movie (also never seen by myself) -- "Flashdance". You know, kinda hot babe working as a line-welder in a factory does energetic / artistic dancing at night in a strip-bar and the patrons applaud her dancing even though she never disrobes. There's just SO many things wrong in that plot that it's fun to try to enumerate them all.; 10:44 PM
AllesK said...: Wolverines!

Didn't you guys notice the best Snot Bubble in American Cinema? Hello?!? The crying scene in the woods? Snotus Maximus!

Don't try to discuss it on the merits -- outside the snot bubble -- there are none.
Best,
Andrea; 10:45 PM
big em said...: Sorry Andrea, as I admitted I've never even seen "Red Dawn" -- just reading synopsis of it is off-putting enough for me! And enticing as it may be, a good snot bubble (??) isn't going to get me to watch it now, either.; 5:53 PM