October 19, 2009

Deep thoughts

I was reading a magazine while getting a haircut yesterday when I came across this bizarre article about a guy who liked sex “not normally admitted to by heterosexual males.” Hmmmm! What actually caught my eye was the pic of some faceless studmuffin in nothing but a pair of hiphugging tighty-whities facing a girl, looking slightly perturbed, sitting on a bed. I should have stopped there and moved on to celebrity news, but I didn’t. Instead I got such a case of the wtfs I couldn’t stop giggling: Turns out the guy in question likes to be taken up the pooper by a woman wearing a strap-on.

Taken up the pooper by a woman wearing a strap-on. Dude, wuh? Taken up the pooper. By a woman. Wearing a strap-on.

OK, time out.

Jeebus, I’m no prude, but what kind of ahole (sorry) admits to this? If somebody told me that I’d run away screaming. Or laughing my ass off after kicking him in the nads. Or beating him about the head with said strap-on. Oh, and the chick who wrote this thing actually bought one and bunged the fellow after he called her an incurious philistine or words to that effect. What’s next, having her shoot gerbils into his choco-tube using an ass-bazooka? Firing bratwursts up the rectum with a tiny trebuchet? Playing a crusty, peg-legged old sea cap’n to his waifish young cabin-boy (visions of Family Guy’s “prostate exam” episode…)?

Yeah, I’m still giggling. Just thought I’d share.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

You've never heard of pegging? And prostate glands?? My, my, you do live a sheltered life!

maru said...

moated and guarded by black helicopters!

Seb said...

Peg, it will come back to you...

Sorry. Just love that song.

Jim said...

Clearly, in Maru's household, the men sodomoze the women as God intended!

gallery said...

To each his own.

It's better than showing up at the emergency room trying to explain how he slipped and fell on a zucchini while gardening.

A World Quite Mad said...

Guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty!!!

Hey, whatever floats your boat. Besides, I think most of those magazines make half the shit they publish up, or embellish, to get people to read their articles. It worked didn't it? LOL

DontFearTheReaper said...

there's a whole line of videos geared to that particular activity.

Anonymous said...

so was he from the senate or the house?
LOL!
siri

big em said...

Did the article reveal what ELSE Larry Craig is up to lately?

But(t) honestly, this sort of sexual activity always sounded a little 'uncomfortable' to me - - kind of like being constipated. Like AWQM above, I'm not really concerned what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own abodes, as long as no one gets physically hurt -- there's too many truly evil things to worry about, like Presidents who start optional/botique wars to gin up their personal macho-resume on the backs of 100's of thousands of dead. Even as a straight male, I'd rather live in San Francisco than Dallas.

New Hoboken said...

Haven't met the man who was completely opposed to ass-play for his own self when it came right down to it, nerve endings and sexual arousal being what they are. Strap-ons are just a more dramatic version. Please don't judge. It's hard enough for men to loosen up enough to admit what they crave. Gracious, giving and game remains good policy.

Labrys said...

Oh, mercy, Maru...I think I broke something laughing so hard.

maru said...

My sphincter is STILL clenched.

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