October 29, 2009

It's Not what it Appears......Really!!!

Another "moral values Republican" bites the dust in South Carolina, where it is a common practice to keep sex toys in your vehicle , "just in case:"

A deputy assistant attorney general who said he was on his lunch break when an officer found him with a stripper and sex toys in his sport utility vehicle has been fired, his boss said Wednesday.
Roland Corning, 66, a former state legislator, was in a secluded part of a downtown cemetery when an officer spotted him Monday, according to a police report obtained by The Associated Press under the Freedom of Information Act.
As the officer approached, Corning sped off, then pulled over a few blocks away. He and the 18-year-old woman with him, an employee of the Platinum Plus Gentleman's Club, gave conflicting stories about what they were doing in the cemetery, Officer Michael Wines wrote in his report, though he did not elaborate.
Corning gave Wines a badge showing he worked for the state Attorney General's Office. Wines, whose wife also works there, called her to make sure Corning was telling the truth.
He then searched the SUV, where he found a Viagra pill and several sex toys, items Corning said he always kept with him, "just in case," according to the report.
He also said, "Who put this 18 year old prostitute in my car? Dammit! Those guys at the states attorneys office are such kidders! Fortunately, I am prepared for this eventuality. Much like a boy scout…but with large, gasoline powered vibrators and a jumbo sized bottle of Viagra…so better."
But to be fair, ho hasn’t picked up a lovely young lady from the local gentleman’s club and driven out to the cemetery with a bunch of sex toys & Viagra to get their groove on?
Perhaps Sanford can clue him in to some sweet Argentinian cemeteries next time.

BONUS!!! Maru has a great simulpost below.