The party of personal responsibility

December: Sarah Palin leaves Hawaiian vacation over “McCain visor” publicity.

March: Sarah Palin left Hawaiian vacation over daughter’s breaking, entering, partying, and causing more than $20,000 in damages.

Spoiled Palin spawn avoids criminal charges thanks to her bootstrappy, real-American wholesome, average hockey-mom:

According to sources close to the Alaska State troopers there was a secret weekend meeting. This meeting took place between the Palins and some very highly placed people involved in the juvenile justice department. Directly after this secret meeting the word came down to the juvenile justice probation officer that ONLY the boys who had participated would be charged with the crime. Willow Palin and the girls would only be identified as “witnesses” and face no criminal penalties.

This has made the State Troopers and those working in the juvenile justice department very, very unhappy. But there was nothing they could do, the Palins had connections, and for them apparently the law simply did not apply.

Welp, THAT’s certainly not a segment we’ll see on Bible Spice’s wholesome and patriotic new television show.