President Obama pardons two turkeys this Thanksgiving morning -- and neither one was named "Tom DeLay"!

Mwahahahaha! Happy T-day, everybody!

TGIC!

Merry Christmas from the GOP!

They're all about extending tax cuts for millionaires who don't need them, but House repukes Thursday blocked the bill that would have extended benefits for the unemployed beyond the holiday season.

Duh

Headline in the WaComPo: "GOP may be less eager than Obama for bipartisanship"

Gee, ya think??

After bitching and moaning these past two years that the White House has not been bipartisan (wrongly, as it were), the "newly emboldened" Party of No "have shown little enthusiasm for compromise."

Snort. Really. Wow, who could have seen that coming? Party over country, that's the gpukes in a nutshell. Asshats.

Fux: Obama hates our centuries-dead troops

Faux draws criticism for nooze anchors headlining repug fundraisers... uhh, donating millions to the GOP... damn ... their trollish headline of Prez Obama's new book:

Obama's decision to include Native American leader Sitting Bull didn't go over well with the headline writers at Fox Nation, a Fox News website. Their initial take: "Obama Praises Indian Chief Who Killed U.S. General." (At the time of this writing, the headline has been changed to read: "Obama Praises Indian Chief Who Defeated U.S. General.")

Several bloggers and Fox critics quickly jumped on the site's overheated reaction to the children's book.

"Fox News Turns Obama's Kid Book Into Anti-American War Epic," wrote Gawker's Maureen O'Connor.

The New Republic's Jonathan Chait also poked fun at the network's coverage of the book: "Fox News Exposes Obama As Indian, Not Kenyan, Anti-Colonialist."

"Our Indonesian-Kenyan-socialist president is at it again!" wrote Washington Post columnist Dana Milbank.

Fox News chief Roger Ailes claimed in a recent interview that his network doesn't take unfair shots at the Obama administration. But headlines like this one only give ammunition to the many Fox critics who contend that the network—and sites affiliated with it—will take every opportunity to criticize the Democratic president.

Fox News did not respond to requests for comment.

Of course they didn't.

Oopsies!

Not news: Lamestream media pundits caught on tape trashing Sarah Palin during commercial break.

News: It was her Faux Nooze colleagues. Watch the video here.

Alies' fat cells continue to usurp what's left of his brain

In a fawning interview with world-class repuke bootlicker Howard Kurtz, Faux chairman Roger Ailes called NPR executives "Nazis" for firing xenophobic bigot Juan Williams, Prez Obama too "socialist" for our socialist international allies, and Jon Stewart "crazy" for -- get this -- his "polarizing views":

"If it wasn't polarized, he couldn't make a living. He makes a living by attacking conservatives and stirring up a liberal base against it."

Uh, it takes one to know one, I guess. You fucking pig. Honestly.

Fux boob gets one right

Usually vapid ditz Gretchen Carlson sez Palin is "self-defecating" --

Rare sighting: Dems with spines

From our buddy Mahablog:

Four House Dems — Joseph Crowley of New York, Linda Sanchez of California, Donna Edwards of Maryland and Tim Ryan of Ohio — sent an open letter to Republicans in Congress asking which of them would forgo their congressional health benefits:

“If your conference wants to deny millions of Americans affordable health care, your members should walk that walk,” the Democrats wrote to pudfaced dipshit Mitch McConnell and orange-hued weeper John Boehner. “You cannot enroll in the very kind of coverage that you want for yourselves, and then turn around and deny it to Americans who don’t happen to be Members of Congress.”

“We also find it interesting that members of the Republican conference would have no problem taking away health coverage from hard-working Americans, but expect expanded coverage for themselves and their families,” they add, writing that the health care reform bill gives Americans the option of selecting a plan in a manner similar to members of Congress.

More of this please, indeed.

Teabagging twittertwat of the tundra: "I can beat Obama"

Dubbed one of the year's "most fascinating people" by an increasingly senile Barbara Walters, Sarah Palin averred she could whomp the President if she ran in 2012 - though she admitted the biggest challenge would be proving her "record."

"That's the most frustrating thing for me -- the warped and perverted description of my record and what I've accomplished over the last two decades," the serial quitter whined cluelessly.

The reality-show attention-whore then went on to pule over the "lamestream media" for their attention on her personal life, something they have never, ever done to any other political figure evar.

A free hour today! Yays!

Gpukes put party before country

Rethugs actively worked toward ensuring the country failed in order to win the 2010 election.

All but wiped out in 2008, republicans groping for a comeback strategy determined there would be no swift return to economic health under incoming President Barack Obama -- they agreed privately to oppose his major legislation.

Over the next two years, they criticized, attacked, voted against and then attacked some more as Democrats struggled to pass an economic stimulus measure, health care legislation and a bill to rein in Wall Street. Unemployment, 7.4 percent when Obama took office, soared to 10.1 percent, then barely budged for months.

"By sticking together in principled opposition to policies we viewed as harmful, we made it perfectly clear to the American people where we stood. And we gave voters a real choice," said pudfaced jerkwad Mitch McConnell, deserving of a hard kick in his shrivelled nuts.

"Harmful"? "Principled"?? You fuckhats voted nearly unanimously against every effort the Democrats made to help the economy.

And the fucking sheeple bought into it. Sigh.

All of you.

Getting the hell out of DC would be a good start

Republican Whip Eric Cantor wants you to tell him exactly how the GOP should work to reduce wasteful spending.

Bunnypants: McCain was a big ol' poopiehead

In his new book, clearly ghost-written by Millie, the former resident makes Senor Senile McFusebutt out to be what we all saw him as: a cantankerous, stubborn old fool with a huge bug up his ass.

“I was puzzled,” Bush wrote. “He had called for this meeting. I assumed he would come prepared to outline a way to get the bill passed.”

Toward the end of the meeting, McCain finally spoke. Bush complains that he spoke only “in general terms” about how hard it would be for Republicans to back the TARP bill.

“What had started as a drama quickly descended into a farce,” he concludes. “I was watching a verbal food fight, which would have been comical except that the stakes were so high…After everyone had their chance to vent, I decided there was nothing more we could accomplish.”*

*Translated from the original faux-cowpoke gibberish.

Happy Caturday!

Our SCLM

Keith Olbermann has been suspended indefinitely without pay.

Earlier [Friday], MSNBC declared that it would be suspending progressive host Keith Olbermann because he violated NBC’s ethics rules by donating to three Democratic candidates for Congress. As many bloggers have noted, conservative MSNBC host Joe Scarborough has donated to Republican candidates for Congress while promoting the same candidate on air, but has never been disciplined.

Media Matter's Eric Hananoki notes that Scarborough gave a local Alabama Republican candidate $5,000 as recently as this year, and CNBC host Larry Kudlow donated $1,000 to Republican Chris Shays in May of 2009. Indeed, Kudlow also serves on the Leadership Council to the Club for Growth, a group that has donated over $2 million to Republican candidates this year. Do NBC ethics rules apply to Scarborough, Pat Buchanan, Kudlow, or other conservatives working for the media company?

Everyone: "IOKIYAR!"

What fun. Spent the past few days driving around to employment office, unemployment office, doctors and rehab. Now, a break! Uh oh... the finches are all lined up staring at me. Yep, they're out of bath water. Hold on...

MSNBC’s election night lineup draws criticism from Faux

Oh please.

"We made the decision to give the viewers what they come to MSNBC night in and night out for -- Keith, Chris, Rachel, Ed, Lawrence and Gene, who's joined us for election nights for the past several years," an MSNBC spokesman said.

Fox News, rather than having top-rated dipshits like Bill O'Reilly or Glenn Beck anchor election coverage, went instead with Bret Baier and Megyn Kelly. But the network still gave ample airtime to its stable of conservative commentators, including Karl Rove, Sean Hannity and Sarah Palin.

Fox News drew its own share of criticism from liberals for its 2010 election night coverage. Some pointed out the sheer number of potential Republican presidential candidates on Fox News' payroll, the network's positive coverage of the tea party movement since last year, and owner Rupert Murdoch's large donations to Republican candidates and causes this year.

So fuck you. Honestly.

Fair 'n' balanced

Seen on fark.com: Keith Olbermann may have violated ethics policy when he donated thousands to Democrats. In other news, the owner of Fox "News" donated $1 million to republicans and told everyone to suck it.