WTF Is It Now?!?

Crap, it's only Monday.

Sightings 'n' Stuff
Heard the spring peepers last night.
There's a new egg in one of the zebra finch nests.
Very cool thunderstorm last night filled up the fishpond, which ordinarily would've been great, but I was planning on working on it today and needed it close to empty. (Fish pond has been set up!)

Quotes of the Day

"Bush hasn't failed this badly since the last time he took a breathalizer." - BarryCrimmins, at http://www.barrycrimmins.com/quips.html

""Bush wants a ban on human cloning. Ashcroft wants a ban on producing humans the old-fashioned way." - Conan

Today in History

1792 The guillotine is first tested on human corpses

1861 three days after the Confederate attack on Fort Sumter, President Lincoln declared a state of insurrection and called out Union troops. Why we couldn't have done the same thing in Florida is beyond me.

In the early hours of April 15, 1912, the British luxury liner Titanic sank in the North Atlantic off Newfoundland, less than three hours after striking an iceberg. About 1,500 people died. Fourteen years earlier, Morgan Robertson's novel Futility had a giant ship called Titan sink on her maiden voyage after hitting an iceberg in about the same place. In 1939 a ship called the Titanian was damaged by an iceberg in the same place the Titanic went down.

1945 President Roosevelt, who had died April 12, was buried at the Roosevelt family home in Hyde Park, N.Y. 57 years later the grave-spinning began.

2001 Punk rock icon Joey Ramone died in New York at age 49.

2002 As the Mideast continued to bleed, not unlike GW Bush's 15-year-old girlfriend after her forced abortion, the Toxic Tinhorn and Defib Dick continued their fund-raising jaunts across the very country they plan to subjugate and destroy.



Word of the Day: Reprove: Uncle Karl and Uncle Karen reproved Daddy's Widdle F*ckup for yesterday's disastrous photo-op with helpless dog.


Hypocritical, Head-slapping, Look-in-the-Mirror-Moron Quotes of the Day

"We do hope that Chavez recognizes that the whole world is watching and that he takes advantage of this opportunity to right his own ship, which has been moving, frankly, in the wrong direction for quite a long time," said Condoleezza Rice, Smirky the Chimp's national security adviser and nursemaid-du-jour...

The administration also accused Chavez of preventing the media from covering the violence.

"I hope that Hugo Chavez takes the message that his people sent him, that his own policies are not working for the Venezuelan people, that he's dealt with them in a high-handed fashion," Rice jawdroppingly said on NBC's "Meet the Press."

The White House released a statement saying protests by trade unions and business groups "have sent a clear message to President Chavez that they want both democracy and reform." - The San Francisco Chronicle


"The return of the Venezuelan leader to power has left a lot of people looking very stupid" - let's start with the Arbusto administration

After President Chavez's removal, White House officials were clearly pleased. Far from condemning the ouster of a democratically-elected president, US officials blamed the crisis on Chavez himself - accusing him of ordering supporters to open fire on anti-government demonstrators. They called for new elections and even congratulated the Venezuelan military for restraint, saying Mr Chavez's overthrow did not constitute a coup because he had resigned. What f*cking nerve. And new elections... don't even get me started on this one. It's like saying the US wasn't the victim of a coup because Al Gore called Squinty the Squatter to concede the selection.

Many in Latin America are likely to ask whether the United States is more concerned with its interests in the region than maintaining the continuity of democratic rule. (Democratic rule - from the BFEE? That's a good one. In any case, it's the oil, stupid.)

BTW, U.S. officials have acknowledged that Venezuelan Army officers and other Chavez opponents visited the U.S. Embassy in Caracas to ask how the United States would react to a coup. (The San Francisco Chronicle) From the BBC News, of course.


'Venezuela to Bush: This ain't Florida, gringo!'

"All the U.S. cable networks and Sunday morning network news shows fixated on Colin Powell's this morning because they wouldn't have had time to cover his meeting with Arafat and reverse all the lies that they disseminated concerning Venezuela.

"Nationalist procurement deviser Condasleeza Rice did tell NBC resident asskiss Tim Russert that Chavez has "been given another chance to right his ship." No need to worry there Sleeza, it is much easier to keep ships on course when they are divested of mutineers.

"It must be very scary for Rice to see collaborators brought to justice. "The Court-appointed Bush Administration got its smarmy ass kicked by a country that will not allow the illegitimate leader of the USA to impose an equally bogus president upon them. This is a great, great, great day. Just tremendous."

Read it all at BarryCrimmins.com ! Word!!

In Other News:

Rep. Traficant Guilty of Bribery, Corruption, Racketeering
Could lead to mild reprimand from Congress.

International Criminal Court to Hit Ground Running
First stop: Henry Kissinger's house.

Energy Dept. Says Task Force Met With Many Environmental Groups
Representatives from Greenpeace, Sierra Club, National Resouces Defense Council, Alliance to Save Energy, Environmental Defense, Union of Concerned Scientists, World Wildlife Fund, World Resources Institute, Tellus Institute, American Council for an Energy Efficient Economy, American Wind Energy Association, and Resources for the Future spent five minutes with Vice President Cheney's receptionist.

My Turn, by Thomas White, Secretary of the Army
"Thank you for affording me this space to refute the many unfounded accusations that have been levelled at me. "First of all, simply because of my previous employment as a top officer of the Enron Corporation, and the fact that I sold twelve million dollars of Enron stock days before the company's collapse while at the same time having
more than seventy phone conversations with officials at Enron, and the fact that I used a government jet to fly my wife and myself to Aspen so that we could sell our vacation condo, is no reason to conclude that I
- (Due to space restrictions, all editorials must be limited to 100 words or less.).

LOL! From IronicTimes.com