WTF Is It Now?!?

*

I'm really tired today.

Sightings:

The cherry trees and hyacinths are blooming today.
Heard one of the coyotes kill something last night. It wasn't one of the stray cats.
Fucking grass is going to need to be cut this weekend.
Got 14 neons. All are still alive.


Today in History

Feast Day of St Gemma Galgani For 18 months stigmata appeared intermittently on her hands and feet and she had frequent visions.
1814 Napoleon Bonaparte abdicated as emperor ofFrance and was banished to the island of Elba. Couldn't we do something like that today?
1890 Joseph Merrick, the Elephant Man, died in his sleep of suffocation at the age of 33 in 1890. By odd coincidence, the Los Angeles Examiner of 11 April 1955 reported that two dead elephants had been washed shore near Wellington, New Zealand. None had been reported missing and the nearest land was 1,200 miles away.
1968 President Johnson signed into law the Civil Rights Act of 1968, a week after the assassination of Martin Luther King Jr.
1979 Idi Amin was deposed as president of Uganda as rebels and exiles backed by Tanzanian forces seized control. Couldn't we do something like that today?
2001 Ending a tense 11-day standoff, China agreed to free the crew of the American spy plane after the Coward of Crawford said he was "very sorry" for the death of the Chinese pilot.
2002 While the Middle East continued to erupt like inflamed pustules on the phiz of Squinty McPretzal, the Clueless Cowpat called on the Senate to pass legislation boosting religious charities, and played with his Power Rangers.

Senators, Scientists tell Shrubster he's Full of Sh!t

Aligning themselves with 40 Nobel laureates, senators who support human cloning research say they will not let the Ignorant Impotus's efforts to impose a cloning ban jeopardize the promise such research holds for curing disease.

The Cretinous Cowstalker's appeal did little to slow efforts by a handful of senators to craft a compromise that would ban the cloning of human beings but leave room for embryo research. One author, Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pa., said Wednesday there was "a significant group in the Senate determined to defeat" an outright ban. "If the millions of people who suffer from Parkinson's and Alzheimer's and heart disease and cancer - and every other known malady - realize that potential cures are going to be impeded, they'll let their senators know a thing or two," Specter said. "There's going to be a real fight on the Senate floor."

The Toxic Tinhorn countered with a veiled warning: "It would be a mistake for the U.S. Senate to allow any kind of human cloning to come out of that chamber." WTF?? Or you'll do what, you blithering nincompoop??

Michael West, president and CEO of Worcester, Mass.-based Advanced Cell Technology, disputed the spurious claims of the Farina-brained Figurehead, in which embryos are created so they can be plundered for body parts.

"I'm not proud to be an American when our leadership doesn't take the time to get the science right," West said. - - Yahoo News

In a related story, a NY Times editorial also lets him have it with both barrels


The Top 6 Euphemisms for the Digital Rectal Examination

6. Going in through the out door.

5. Probing for gerbils.

4. Checking for rocks and potholes on the Hershey Highway.

3. Searching for the "on" switch.

2. Opening up a new X-File.

and the Number 1 Euphemism for the Digital Rectal Examination...

1. "I Can't Believe It's Not Sodomy!"

- from Top5.com. Lessee: Getting Enronized, Voting in Florida, Donating to the RNC, Attending a GW Bush press conference....


The Smirking Moron's Poll Numbers Tank as More and More People Realize What a Clueless Doob He Is

Drinky McDumbass's current job approval rating stands at a pathetic 76%, his lowest rating since Sept. 11.

The decline in Abby Normal's overall job approval rating can be attributed to the awakening Dems, and to political independents who have just about had it with the warmongering idiocy of Chimpy McOilfield. Following Sept. 11, Democratic opinion of how Daddy's Little Doofus was handling his job soared by more than 50 points, due to fear they would be labelled as traitors if they disagreed. Over the last six months, the
Moronic Mouthbreather's ratings among Democrats have decreased some 20 points, with a similar pattern among independents.
Cheney's Little Chihuahua's rating among the Pithed (bushmoonies) remains in the middle 90s, where it has been since September.

- - Gallup.com


Quotes of the Day:

"But he does have a credibility problem when he pledges the funding at one level to Senator Kennedy and then produces a bill $7 billion short. He's a man of his most recent word, I guess, right?" - Paul Begala talking about resident bush, on 'Crossfire'

"Nearly seven months after Ziad Al-Jarrah seized United Airlines flight 93, which crashed into a field in southwestern Pennsylvania, the Bush administration's Federal Aviation Administration continues to send pilot correspondence to him at a Florida apartment he rented last summer. I suppose the apartment manager could have forwarded the mail to the hijacker's new address, but he didn't know the zip code for hell. Bush apparently promised to run the government like a business; now we know why the one business he ran went belly up." - Paul Begala, on a roll

"Obsessed with Saddam Hussein, eager to accomplish the overthrow mission his father defaulted on, full of grandiose designs against a nonsensical "axis of evil," Bush spent 15 months walking away from the fire that was actually burning, the fire he could actually help douse. His idea of responsibility was to deny responsibility. He took the low road, pinning the Middle East problem on Bill Clinton." - Todd Gitlin, at motherjones.com (thanks to BuzzFlash)

"Did anyone check the paper - what's our Middle East policy for today?" - Leno

"Today President Bush has clarified his world view saying 'You're either with us or you're with the terrorists. Or you're with the terrorists but you have oil Or you're with us but you hate us. Or you're with us, but you fund all the terrorism in the world. Or you're a hundred percent with the terrorists accept for one little guy in charge. Or you're with us but you can't really help us. Or you're with the terrorists with each other and against us even though you really hate each other." - Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"

""Israeli troops tear-gassed Geraldo Rivera. Fighting stopped for several hours while both sides laughed uproariously." - Conan