April 26, 2002

Today in History

1937 planes from Nazi Germany raided the Basque town of Guernica during the Spanish Civil War.

1986 the world's worst nuclear accident occurred at the Chernobyl plant in the Soviet Union.

2002 despite a stern warning and veiled threats from the Saudi crown prince, the Smirking Cokemonkey never deviated from his course, but hightailed his fuzzy bunny-ass back to the campaign trail to raise more money for repuke thugs.

Word of the Day: Assuage - Little Tucker turned to the bottle and a transvestite pro wrestler named Big Meaty Bertha to assuage the anger and grief he felt after being verbally pummelled into a pile of stinking goo by Cpl Cueball.

Last Night on Crossfirrrrrrrrre

James Carville: Let me ask you a question. What grade would you give the president on his...[handling of the Mideast situation]

Tucker the Chicken: I'm not going to answer that question.

Carville: Let me show you something that I know that...because we're going to post it on the much ballyhooed grand web site mediawhoresonline.com. And this is what they had to say. "Conservative media," this is what everybody in Washington reads. You need to check it out. "Conservative media outlets...have tried to ignore Brock's truthful revelations, putting him on what looks like a blacklist, refusing to review his book, refusing to have him appear on their broadcasts, hoping that he and his book will just go away." Does that ring true to you, David?

David Brock, author: Yes, absolutely. As I was saying to Tucker, the conservative magazines have not reviewed the book. Conservative dominated talk shows that love my previous work won't talk about it. And I think the conservatives are in denial. I actually found the same thing with the Hillary Clinton book when I didn't say that she was evil, the same thing. They promote what they want. They promote what they want you to hear. And otherwise, they don't. Well, what I'm talking about is what the conservatives did, and what their view is. And the fact that they don't want people to know that, A, they put Clarence Thomas on the Supreme Court, knowing about his past and covering that up. They spent more than $2 million to smear the Clintons as part of the Arkansas project, which Tucker, you wrote about in "New York" magazine. You know that happened. You know it was a smear campaign.

the Bow-tied Weener: I'm not exactly sure. But let me just mention...

Mr Brock: You're not exactly sure. You wrote about it. I read what you wrote. You don't even remember what you wrote?

Mr Brock slams one out of the park!: It's hypocrisy. And hypocrisy is endemic in the movement to one -- the biggest public moralizers during the Clinton period were doing exactly what they claimed falsely the Clintons were doing. In many cases, they were doing a lot worse. And you know them, because they're all of your friends.

David Brock: There are a lot of other people who can back up what I said about Ted Olson. If they had a real investigation, you would've been found out that there were other people from "The Spectator" who would've said the same thing. Because he's a Republican, they make him a lead lawyer in the land. If he was a Democrat, he'd be in jail.

Mr Carville: "I understand the GOP elite has sent out the word for top GOP leaders to stay off Crossfire because they can't stand the heat. Waaaa! Da wittle cry babies." Sam Park, Van Nuys, California. I tell you something, Sam, about these people. They can give it, but can't take it. And I found out something about this right-wing crowd. They all got glass jaws. The good ones that come over here...

tucker, coming close to crying: They all come on here. And I must say, to think that they're going to be ignoring to be...

James: Why is Marc Racicot telling -- he's the chairman of the Republican party!

tucker, pissing his panties: That is absolutely...

James Carville, hero: He's a weenie.

Bunnypants Looks into Soul of Crown Prince Abdullah, Shares Vision, Establishes "strong personal bond."

The Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia delivered a stern warning to the Fraudulent Fratboy yesterday that the US would face what a top Saudi advisor said were "grave consequences" if it does not "rein in Israel."

The crown prince's foreign policy aide said the prince did not hide his growing dismay with the failure of the US to exert some muscle on Sharon. "If the United States doesn't do more to reduce the violence," Abdullah told the Ignorant Impotus, "there will be grave consequences for the U.S. and its interests."

Squinty the Pinhead and Abdullah met privately for only 75 minutes. Then the Smirking Simpleton dragged the poor guy into a pickup for a jolting tour of the pig farm.

"He's a man who's got a farm and he understands the land," the Moron of Midland trilled, "and I really took great delight in being able to drive him around in a pickup truck and showing him the trees and my favorite spots. And we saw a wild turkey, which was good." I bet the crown prince needed a bottle of Wild Turkey after a day with Hopalong Noodlehead.

"We spent a lot of time alone, discussing our respective visions, talking about our families," he twittered. Even so, the crown prince fled Bunnypants Bunker faster than an aborted fetus being flushed from the womb of GW Bush's 15-year-old girlfriend - no joint statements to the whore press, no faux-cowboy dinner, no sleep-over in the superhero bedroom. So much for your 'strong personal bond', huh, dumbass??

Meanwhile, back in DC...repuke neonazis tell Abdullah, Powell, world to f*ck off

Rejecting a personal plea from Colin Powell to hold off, House repuke leaders today set a vote for next week on a resolution of "solidarity" with Israel that condemns "the ongoing support and coordination of terror" by Yasir Arafat.

Senior repuglican aides said the move reflected the overwhelming impulse among lawmakers to stand with Israel, as well as repuke disillusionment with Secretary Powell. Some conservatives accuse Powell of being too inclined to seek middle ground in the Mideast, undercutting the moral clarity of Preznit Dumbass's stand against terrorism.

The rift in the Clueless Cokehead's inner circle, some State Department officials said, has left the administration's policy "dead in the water." The officials used words like "despondent" and "disheartened", and say they can't remember a time in recent years when they have felt so badly beaten up. "I can't think of an awful lot of allies," a State Department official said. He said the demoralization within the department was "the most acute" in at least five years.

After Repeatedly Smearing Torricelli, GOP Darling Treffinger Now Focus of Federal
Corruption Investigation

Those God-fearin' Republicans sure are leading the nation toward a "new morality," aren't they? Let's see, we have the Mayor of Waterbury jailed on child molestation charges, the third-ranking Congressional GOPer Delay running a boiler room scam to bilk doctors out of "donations," and all those good Republican guys who headed Enron and Anderson caught red-handed stealing from employees, clients and consumers. Now, to add to this growing list of the "morally uplifting," we have James Treffinger, the GOP favorite (at least until this weekend!) for the U.S. Senate race in NJ. Treffinger, who has loudly accused Senator Bob Torricelli of corruption, had his office raided by the feds, who confiscated documents and computer files after Treffinger became closely implicated in a corruption case. Loyalty, of course, being another great GOP character trait, the party's response was to dump JT's butt overnight and disavow any support. - Thanks to democrats.com.

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