WTF Is It Now?!?

'HITLER YOUTH' GROUP FORMED?
What color are their uniforms? Billed as one of the nation's first "homeland security training summer camps for teenagers," a program called Secure Corps in Bucks County, PA is drilling 92 young men and women in "essential skills" to help fight any vile evildoers that may be climbing into cropdusters that don't belong to you in order to unleash anthrax-laced "You may already be a winner!" letters to unsuspecting liberals.

The idea was born in mid-September, when millions of Americans were itching to take up arms ('itching to take up arms'????), but had little idea where to begin. In Bucks County, teenagers were calling the offices of county government, wondering how they could join the ranks of police, fire and emergency personnel. So the county created Secure Corps. When the eight-week program ends Aug. 23, graduates will be certified in first aid, CPR (both human and animal), and what organizers call "terrorism response."

Each corps must contact real government agencies to develop response strategies, and present their findings at an Aug. 22 session to which Tom Ridge, Reichsmarshall of the Office of Homeland Security, has been invited.

- What? Am I overreacting? Secret military tribunals, the USA Patriot Act, bringing back posse comatose (thanks, skippy!), the TIPS program, and now this - those Parisian catacombs are looking better and better.