WTF Is It Now?!?

STUFF I'M READING: I'm in my end-of-the-world mode these days. I started with Left Behind, whose premise alone ordinarily would have merited three stars, but I couldn't get past wanting to slap the sorry sh!t out of every one of the characters. I then turned to one of my favorites, Lucifer's Hammer. In this one civilization ends by comet - there are some nail-biting pages of people trying to outrun the oncoming tsunamis. The follow-up, which I'm reading now, is Footfall, when aliens shaped like elephants attack! Actually, it's pretty hokey, and why elephants, fer petessake?? As a plus, though, the president of the US is looking like a complete boner. After that will come another of my favorites, Swan Song - death by nukes. Another one where the numbnuts in DC are totally wiped out.


"Bush was on Wall Street today attacking accounting fraud. Wait a minute. Isn't that how he got elected?" - Letterman
"Last week doctors discovered some blockage in Bush's colon: his head." - Leno - really!




Ouch

Maureen Dowd slams the Bushies: "they are hounded by the same old question they have designed their lives to avoid: Can a Bush — born on third base but thinking he hit a triple — ever really understand the problems of the guys in the bleachers?

"How can Mr. Bush crack the whip on Big Business when he's a wholly owned subsidiary of it? His dynastic ties to business gave him his career in oil and baseball, provided the record-breaking $100 million that made him president, and spawned his C.E.O. administration. How can Mr. Bush lecture companies on setting a moral tone, getting tough on accounting practices and ending "malfee-ance," as he calls it, when there are pesky questions about his own windfall at Harken Energy?

"The president's speech on Wall Street yesterday was a Karl Rove production, making all the right noises, with the reassuring blue "Corporate Responsibility" backdrop. But TV viewers who looked lower on the screen could see the Dow arrow sliding down steadily, off 178 points for the day.
Mr. Rove pushed W. out to the White House press room on Monday so he would not seem to be evading corporate responsibility for himself while preaching it for others. But the president was acting petulant."



"Bush was on Wall Street today announcing that penalties will be doubled for white collar crime. Now they'll get slapped on both wrists."
"Bush now has a formal plan for attacking Iraq. The only question is timing. We'll attack as soon as Bush's popularity falls below 52%." - Leno


Driving Mr Dumbass

Relations between the White House and black American leaders slumped to a new low yesterday after pResident Clueless gave a dismissive answer when asked why he was not addressing the convention of the National Association for the Advancement of Coloured Peoples, the most respected black pressure group in the US.

At his press conference on Monday night, Mr Bush answered: "Let's see. There I was sitting around the table with foreign leaders looking at Colin Powell and Condi Rice... " His voice then trailed away, he shook his head and moved on to the next question; the implication being that two black people in his inner circle was a substitute for outreach to the rest of the community.