WTF Is It Now?!?

In Other News
GOP: We're Winning Drug War
Fewer seniors able to get them.

War Looming, Economy Crashing, Deficit Soaring, Environment Collapsing
Congress, President take well-earned vacation.

Senate Vote Gives Bush Fast-Track Layoff Powers
Should streamline process of putting Americans out of work.

Latest Labor Statistics: Only 1 New Job Created in July
The White House added another spin doctor.

Traficant Will Run Again from Prison
Will represent nation's business leaders.

Democrats Hope to Gain 30 to 40 Seats in Mid-Term Elections
"We're less mistrusted than the Republicans," says a party spokesman.

Correction
We erroneously reported that Noelle Bush, daughter of Florida Governor Jeb Bush and niece of President George W. Bush, had been sentenced to 30 years in prison for repeated drug offenses. In fact, Ms. Bush has been sentenced to report to a judge every other week on her progress in a drug rehabilitation program. We regret the error.