August 30, 2002

Cheney and Chimp, Hoping to Distract Country from Their Illegal* Activities, Join Siegfried and Roy for Cross-Country Tour

LITTLE ROCK, Ark. (Reuters) - Smirky McGolfcart yesterday brought out his tired, senseless rhetoric on Iraq during yet another campaign cash fundraiser.

"I'm a patient man - but for the sake of our children we're going to deal with the problems now presented," he said. "For the sake of freedom, we will not allow these tyrants to hold the United States or our friends and allies to blackmail with weapons of mass destruction." Yeah, yeah, blah blah, evildoers patriotism blah.

While Napoleon Bonehead was on the campaign trail using his trademark code, unindicted Halliburton exec Dick 'dick' Cheney publicly and forcefully reiterated a detailed "rationale" for the administration's position in a speech in San Antonio, Texas.

"There is no doubt that Saddam Hussein now has weapons of mass destruction," Cheney said for the second time this week. "There is no doubt that he is amassing them to use them against our friends, against our allies and against us. And there is no doubt that his aggressive regional ambitions will lead him into future confrontations with his neighbors."

Oh really? Where's the proof? Can we see? How about our servicemen and women who'll be dying for you? And who's going to pay for your war, anyway? Yes, by all means, think of the children!


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