WTF Is It Now?!?

"Now let me get this straight: Saddam Hussein is a deadly threat to American security, the worst since Hitler or Stalin. Why, it may take as long as two weeks to conquer Iraq. So now that President Junior's returned from a month-long vacation at his Texas ranch, which he apparently spent rounding up and branding golf carts, the sky is falling and there's not a moment to spare. [A headline quoted Bush] stating 'If you want peace, it's necessary to use force.' War is Peace. Where have I heard that before? 'Regime change,' the man calls it. Translation... the administration is determined to invade a sovereign nation that hasn't attacked or threatened us, kill thousands of its citizens and install a dictator more to our liking. Preferably one who sells cheap oil and buys mass quantities of American-made weapons to replace the ones we're fixing to blow to smithereens. Meanwhile, it's everybody's patriotic duty to keep a straight face." - Gene Lyons, via email.





Blender has compiled The Filthiest Lyrics of All Time:
"While swearing may not be clever, the joys of the four-letter word have exerted a strange pull on pop stars for decades. But which f@&#in’ song rates as the filthiest? Blender recruited a panel of experts to find out."

The panel included our favorite booger, Tucker Carlson, the neoconservative commentator on CNN’s Crossfire, and Jesse Sheidlower, lexicographer and author of The F Word, a book documenting society’s creative uses for the word fuck.


Terrance and Phillip, “Uncle Fucka”
From South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut Original Soundtrack, 1999

THE DIRT: The South Park movie’s obscenity-filled howler, complete with fart duet
FILTHIEST BIT: “You’re an uncle fucka, yes it’s true/Nobody fucks uncles quite like you”
OUR EXPERT SAYS: “It’s probably not good for kids to be listening to fuck-your-sister-type albums,” Tucker Carlson argues. “Kids are already vulgar, so there’s not a lot of reason to reinforce that. It’s like giving malt liquor to an alcoholic.”
BLENDER’S CLEAN VERSION: “You’re Uncle Walt, yes it’s true/Cryogenically frozen, turning blue”

The Patty Duke Show Theme
(1963)
“Patty likes to rock ’n’ roll/A hot dog makes her lose control.” Hold the mustard!