October 16, 2002

Other Headlines
Bush Uncertain How to Wrap Iraq for Father's Day Gift

"Die America! Charities" Suspected of Funding Terrorism

NRA: Sniper Protesting 5-Day Wait Period

Rumsfeld Congratulates Carter on Winning "Nobel Wuss Prize"

Bush Angered by Iraq's Plans to Fight Back
WASHINGTON (DPI) - The Bush administration expressed shock at recent news that Iraq will fight back, and perhaps even lash out in panic, if attacked. "To think those cowards might shoot back at our airplanes, or shoot missiles at our allies, is very disturbing," said Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld. "Our decision to overthrow their government is no excuse for such drastic and heartless action." The military is now revising its initial plan of being carried triumphantly through the desert on the backs of grateful villagers before chasing Saddam Hussein through the streets of Baghdad while cheering onlookers pelt him with rotten fruit.

- - The Daily Probe.

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