WTF Is It Now?!?

Bush Shuns Calls to Legalize Gay Marriage
"Homos are icky!"

Intolerant Impotant-tate Emperor Snippy said Wednesday he has government lawyers working on a law that would define marriage as a union between a woman and a man, casting aside calls to legalize gay marriages.

"I believe marriage is between a man and a woman and I believe we ought to codify that one way or the other and we have lawyers looking at the best way to do that," the Smirking Moron said a news conference at the White House Rose Garden.

Bunnypants also urged, however, that America remain a "welcoming country" — not polarized on the issue of homosexuality.

"I am mindful that we're all sinners and I caution those who may try to take a speck out of the neighbor's eye when they got a log in their own," serial liar/deserter Squinty McEnron said. "I think it is important for our society to respect each individual, to welcome those with good hearts."

"On the other hand, that does not mean that someone like me needs to compromise on the issue of marriage," added the fav'rit preznit of the Holy Baby Jesus (link).