October 7, 2003

Operation qWagmire

  • Poll numbers tanking? Bushies warn of 'spectacular' Taliban acts
    On the second anniversary of its 'intervention' in Afghanistan, the misadministration said there were signs Taliban guerrillas planned more spectacular attacks and urged Pakistan to do more to curb Islamic militants.

  • Baghdad in turmoil with protests, attacks
    In a week that has seen five more US combat deaths and left 41 soldiers wounded, the commander of military forces in Iraq said yesterday that resistance to the occupying troops was strengthening and warned Americans to brace for more casualties."

  • And the BIG STORY...
    White House overhauls Iraq and Afghan missions
    "We f*cked up!" says anonymous source.

    The White House has ordered a major reorganization in Iraq and Afghanistan, to help quell the exploding violence and to get Dick's oil pumping once again. . The new effort, which includes the creation of an Iraq Stabilization Group to be run by worthless national security adviser Condoleezza 'I have an oil tanker named after me!' Rice, appears part of an effort to assert more direct White House control.

    The creation of the group grew out of Karl Rove the unelected bungler's frustration at the setbacks in both Iraq and Afghanistan. It is the closest the Bushies have come to an admission that its plans for reconstruction in those countries have proved totally bloody FUBAR catastrophically inept insufficient, and that it was unprepared for the guerrilla-style attacks that have become more frequent. There have been more American deaths in Iraq since the end of active combat than during the six weeks it took to take control of the country.

    "The president knows his legacy, and maybe his re-election, depends on getting this right," another administration official said. "This is as close as anyone will come to acknowledging that it's not working."


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