April 28, 2004

Overture, curtain, lights
Dick 'n' Bunnypants rehearse their lines

Flash cards, hand signals, and hypnosis are all being considered as Unca Dick is busily trying to prep pReznit Poopypants for their joint appearance this week before the commission investigating the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

White House spokes-hamster Scott McClellan denied that they're appearing together to 'get the story straight'.

The behind-closed-doors meeting is expected to start at 9:30 a.m. on Thursday. Neither will be under oath. At the request of the White House, the interview will not be taped or aired, and no transcript will be produced.

Q: Scott, did the White House request there not be any transcribers -- any recording or stenographers in the meeting, in the 9/11 Commission hearing?

Scott: I think that was a request -- I checked on that -- that we discussed with the commission, and they were fine with it.

Q: And what is the advantage that you see in that? This is a very historic meeting.

Scott: Well, this is a private meeting, first of all, Elisabeth. And let's keep in mind that it is extraordinary for a sitting President of the United States to sit down with the legislatively created commission. But these are unique circumstances and the President is pleased to do so. The President appreciates the job of the September 11th Commission. We strongly support their work. And we have been pleased to provide the commission unprecedented cooperation and unprecedented access to information, so they can do their work and help us better fight and win the war on terrorism.

Q: Right, if I can just follow up. So if this session is an extraordinary event and such an extraordinary meeting, why do you not want an official record of it?

Q: Scott, following up to what Elisabeth said, somewhat. Before Dr. Rice testified publicly, President Bush said it was important for the American public to know about the events leading up to 9/11. If that is the case, why not have the President testify publicly, even with a transcript? And why not under oath?

Scott: Why do you hate America?!?!?

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