Hi all - I'm here in Jeb!Land. I'm still giggling over Monkey McMoron's press catastrophe last night. I left a comment over at skippy, I'll repost it here later if the computer connection holds out. Gawd! Gotta go.

Heh
"It has now been revealed that a Washington lobbyist personally paid for Tom DeLay's trips using his own credit card. Even more embarrassing, the lobbyist also put the purchase of Tom DeLay on his credit card."
- Leno

"The Vatican put up the pope's email address on their Web site. It's a step up. The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy."
- Bill Maher


***

Dear diary,
Today I .... what? Where am I?


***

Silly
Ever wonder what your name would be if you were one of the Ramones? Find out with the Ramones name generator!


***

Dear Mr. McClellan,
We write to ask you to identify who in your office, or in the White House generally, gave Mr. James "hard pass" Guckert, aka Jeff "8 inches cut" Gannon, virtually unfettered access to the White House, and just who was it who "de-briefed" him during the many times he never seemed to leave.

Sincerely,
Rep. Louise Slaughter and Rep. John Conyers, Jr.
Ranking Members
House Judiciary and House Rules Committees


***

"They don't want to govern, they want to rule."
- comment at DKos.

Obstructionist rethug refuses to compromise
Arrogant, inflexible, power-mad whiner "not interested in any deal that fails to ensure Senate confirmation for all" of the Boy King's Talibangelicals.

Senate Majority Leader/douchebag Bill Frist on Tuesday rejected compromise offers by Minority Leader Harry Reid in the fight to confirm Crusader Bunnypants' extremist judicial nominees.

"At the end of the day, one will be left standing: the Constitution, which allows up-or-down votes, or the filibuster," Frist said uncooperatively.


Sen/Dr Frist, seen here endorsing new chewable gpuke Kool-Aid caplets.
***

Hi all, I'll be in Jeb!World for a week starting tomorrow. I'll try to post from there, but AOL + dial-up usually = flaming headache. The roommates will take care of the critters. Which reminds me, I still have to find a new place to hide the single-malt.
Maybe when I get back there'll be new kittens!

Site I can't get to because I'm at work, but sounds intriguing: I #ucked Ann Coulter in the ass - hard.



Top House rethugs flip-flop on rule they designed to protect corrupt prick
Acknowledge that ethics disputes have taken a toll on the party's image.
No comment.

Reboob House leaders, realizing that their own unethical, cheesy actions are making them all look like complete and utter assclowns, have decided to reverse their bizarro 'ethics committee' rules.

A House Republican aide said the rule was "most commonly believed to be designed to protect [unscrupulous asshat] Tom DeLay" and that it was "impossible to win the communications battle" on it.


***

When you're free to choose your own religion in this country as long as it's Christian, I guess somebody's bound to get pissed off.

So-called 'popular president' poll numbers in pooper
According to the latest Washington Post-ABC News poll, a strong majority of Americans - 2 to 1 - oppose getting rid of the filibuster just so whining asshat rethugs can win confirmation for every single one of Monkey McMoron's extremist nominees.

The survey also recorded a precipitous decline in support for the centerpiece of Bush's Social Security plan - private or personal accounts - along with drops in Bush performance ratings, growing pessimism about the economy and continuing concern about US involvement in Iraq.

Bush's standing with the public is at or near new lows.

***

Emperor Popatine shows humor and warmth, Nazi memorabilia
"So, these two Jews walk into a bar..."


***

Weapons inspector ends WMD search in Iraq
Whoopsies.

There are, and were, no wmds, Captain Obvious reports. Zilch. Zero. Zip. Zippo. Nyet, neine, non, none. Nonexistant. Naught. Null. They're not even pining for the fjords, they're so not there. And they weren't in Syria, either. La la la la la.


***

Another ex-colleague criticizes Bolton
Bush's UN nominee a 'no-talent assclown.'

"Bolton has none of the qualities needed for that job," Frederick Vreeland, a former US ambassador to Morocco, said in an e-mail to the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. "On the contrary, he has all the qualities needed to harm the image and objectives in the UN and its affiliated international organizations. If it is now US policy not to reform the UN but to destroy it, Bolton is our man."

Vreeland, who worked with Bolton in the early 1990s under Bush-the-only-slightly-smarter, said Bolton "dealt with visitors to his office as if they were servants with whom he could be dismissive, curt and negative."

"He spoke of the UN as being the enemy," Vreeland added. "If there's a bigger twat in Washington I sure as hell don't want to know about it."


***

GOP finger-pointing begins
“Rove thinks he’s been beatified by the last election."

Some congressional Republicans are giving the UFIA to their ultrarightwing collegues for undercutting efforts to reform Social Security.

Though it's becoming more obvious that personal accounts are being regarded as complete dogs, the more conservative repukes are afraid that shitcanning the idea now would be "a huge political setback for [the "heroically bold "] Bush."

And for all the rethugs' whinging on how the Dems have no ideas, forget it. Whether they do or not makes no difference, as they are not interested in dealing with Democrats on the issue at all.


***

Bush adds embattled scumbag to Social Security tour
In a show of support for the corrupt prick, slimy turd Tom DeLay was invited to attend Tuesday's Dismantling Social Security event in Texas with the president and even to fly back to Washington with him on Air Force One, but will only get an icky lickrice lollipop instead of one of the yummy cherry ones.


***

Filibuster tactic 'smacks of hypocrisy'
Ah yes, that noble tradition of being a gigantic asshole because you can't get your way -- crybaby republicans want to ban the over-200-year-old tradition of filibustering because some 5% of their judicial nominees have been blocked.

By claiming that the filibuster rule is unconstitutional, Senate conservatives will be engaging in exactly what they say they are trying to prevent: activist readings of the Constitution to get a desired result by being unfaithful to the text. Even the most jaded observer must be stunned by such brazen and open hypocrisy.

Gee, what's the Democrats' problem? This one doesn't seem too extremist...

Just days after a bitterly divided Senate committee voted along party lines to approve her nomination as a federal appellate court judge, California Supreme Court Justice Janice Rogers Brown told an audience Sunday that people of faith were embroiled in a "war" against secular humanists who threatened to divorce America from its religious roots.

Welcome to the coming Inquisition.


***

Pope dope

'God's Rottweiler' says he stuck his cold wet nose in the Almighty's ass and prayed not to be elected Pontiff. If God won't answer his prayers, what chance do the rest of us have?

Joey Rats faces claims that he obstructed justice after it emerged he issued an order ensuring the church's investigations into child sex abuse claims be carried out in secret.


***

Fundie follies

A bill introduced this week by Rep. Jeff Barnhart (R-Naturally) before the NC state House would 'allow pharmacists who oppose abortion to refuse to fill prescriptions based on their moral or religious beliefs, stirring debate over whether druggists have the right to countermand a doctor's directive.'

NoozeMax has been living under a rock that Jebus' dad created about 6000 years ago.


***

"He's going to embarrass the president"
I don't know - nothing has seemed to embarrass Monkey McMoron so far.

Senator Christopher Dodd urges John Bolton to withdraw his name as nominee for US ambassador to UN, shave off that cheesy moustache, and to stop being such an enormous twat.


***

Ick
Once-reputable organization publishes cumstained dreck by pathetic partisan hack.

Disgraceful repuke whore Howard 'Jizz-ho' Kurtz out-stupids himself, writes a full-page love letter to Drudge.

***

Cannibalism
According to the NY comPost, insane radio bigot Michael Savage, after calling Bill O'Reilly a "Leper-Con who poses as a conservative" and Sean Hannity "another Republican bootlicker who began as a Rush [Limbaugh] understudy" is now whining that he's been banned from appearing on Fox News.


***

Where's Walnutbrain?
Buckeroo Bandar is back at the Lazy W, hosting Crown Prince Abdullah of Saudi Arabia, as he "seeks relief from record-high gas prices and support for Middle East peace."


***

Fristing
Senator/douchebag Frist's initiative creates rift in GOP base

The country's leading business lobbying associations, close GOP allies in recent legislative efforts and political campaigns, have told senior Republicans that they would not back Frist's nuclear option to force votes on Bush's judicial nominees.

Senator/douchebag Frist's speech creates jawdropping among hypocrisy watchdogs

In the Sunday telecast organized by Christian conservative groups to denounce the Democrats as "against people of faith" for blocking judicial nominees, Bill Frist stepped up his threats to change Senate rules to circumvent those blockades while simultaneously calling for "more civility in political life."

***

'Tom Delay political deathwatch'
The liberal media, as part of their continued witch hunt, went back in time and forced Tom DeLay to charge trip expenses to a lobbyist's credit card in violation of ethics rules.
- headline at Fark.

Tom DeLay's 2000 trip to London and Scotland - including golfing at Scotland's prestigious St. Andrews course - was charged to a credit card issued to DeLay's pet lobbyist and golf partner Jack Abramoff.

Multiple sources, including DeLay's then-chief of staff Susan Hirschmann, have confirmed that DeLay's congressional office was in direct contact with Preston Gates - Abramoff's lobbying firm - about the trip itinerary before DeLay's departure, to work out details of his travel.

These contacts raise questions about DeLay's statement that he had no way of knowing about the financial and logistical support provided by Abramoff and his firm.

"The time has come that the American people know exactly what their Representatives are doing here in Washington. Are they feeding at the public trough, taking lobbyist-paid vacations, getting wined and dined by special interest groups? Or are they working hard to represent their constituents? The people, the American people, have a right to know... I say the best disinfectant is full disclosure, not isolation." - Tom DeLay, 1995.


***

Denied

At least four of the two dozen or so US delegates selected for the Inter-American Telecommunication Commission meeting have been bumped by the White House because they supported John Kerry's 2004 campaign.

Said Nokia vice president Bill Plummer: "We do not view sending experts to international meetings on telecom issues to be a partisan matter. We would welcome clarification from the White House."

"Call us nutty," says the WH, admitting it.


***

Gay WH prostitute back in the news
Did Jeff Gannon/James Guckert/Bulldog have sleep-overs at the White House? Secret Service records show that Guckert checked in but was never checked out.

“I’d be worried if I was the White House and I knew that a [fake] reporter with a day pass never left” - especially in the wake of Sept. 11, one White House reporter said. “I’d wonder, where is he hiding? It seems like a security risk.”


***

It's cool and rainy - a good day to curl up in front of the TV and watch cheesy movies on the SciFi channel. Today's theme: bugs.


***

Not so fast...
Nature pisses all over Bush's Earth Day photo-op.


***

Friday cat blogging


Egon chills out.
***

Opening a dialogue
"I welcome everybody with simplicity and love to assure them that the Church wants to continue in open and sincere dialogue with them, in search of the true good of man and society." - the new Pontiff, 4/20/05.

"Support Spain's bill allowing marriage and adoption by homosexuals and you're all fired."
- Pope Palpatine Benedict XVI, 4/22/05.


***

Whore of the week
No surprise - it's Rightwing Wankjob Weekly, for their indefensible attempt at legitimizing loathsome harpy mA-- C------.
Yes, I AM still pissed at them.

A week after she was praised in Time magazine's "100 Most Influential People" issue, the magazine went a step further by making [vicious skank] mAnn Coulter the subject of a lengthy April 25 cover story. Readers who might have looked for a critical examination of the overexposed, factually challenged hatemonger found something else: a puff piece that gave Coulter a pass on her many errors and vicious, often bigoted rhetoric.

Throughout the article, Tiger Beat Time reporter John Cloud gave Coulter every benefit of the doubt. Her clear, amply documented record of inaccuracy was waved away. Coulter's notoriously vitriolic hate speech was alternately dismissed as a put-on or excused as "from her heart," while the worst Cloud could say about her was that she can "occasionally be coarse." Time readers learned that Coulter is an omnivorous reader (one of exactly two examples of her consumption being the Drudge Report website), and that she regards herself "as a public intellectual." Coulter, who writes a syndicated newspaper column and makes frequent cable news appearances, is dubbed "iconic" by Time because she "epitomizes the way politics is now discussed on the airways."

In reality, there are few who "discuss" politics the Coulter way-- by smearing opponents as traitors, calling for a renewal of McCarthyism and endorsing the killing of reporters. {...snip...}

Coulter's latest book is a months-old collection of columns, and if not for a handful of cable news appearances this year she would be almost completely invisible in the national debate.

At one point, Cloud asked rhetorically: "How did such a flagrantly impolitic person become such a force in our politics?" The answer is obvious: The mainstream media has granted her the time and space to spread her message. And if Cloud's own credulous writing is any indication, that's not going to change anytime soon.

- read more at FAIR.


***

Friday cat blogging

Magical cat Jaffa creates rainbows, hairballs.
***

Hard to choose which one's the bigger asshat
Those opposed to drilling in ANWR "are really supporting terrorism."
- Don Young, R-Naturally

"Over the course of the Democrats' obstruction, gas prices have skyrocketed, and that's not a coincidence."
- corrupt scumbag Tom DeLay


***

"It's yore money!"
- Preznit Privilege.

300 billion dollars.


***

Friday cat blogging

LaMew's daughter Gorby's head.
***

President Bush marks Earth Day
Pees in river, carves initial in tree, has it cut down.

A Nedra Pickler - if that really is her name - paean to rugged, manly outdoorsman Buckeroo Bonehead.

In a related story, the House votes to give money to energy giants, destroy Alaska's nature preserves, and give gas companies legal immunity for poisoning the water. Happy Earth Day, everybody!


***

LaMew came with the house when we moved in. She's Jaffa and Egon's mom.

Frist draws criticism from some church leaders
The National Council of Churches has asked members to organize news conferences denouncing the sanctimonious hypocrite.

Officials of several major Protestant denominations on Thursday accused Senate republican leader/douchebag Bill Frist of "violating the principles of his own Presbyterian church" and urged him to drop out of the Sunday telecast that depicts Democrats as "against people of faith."

"Don't tell me what God wants"
"I am sick and tired of a bunch of people trying to tell me that God wants a bunch of conservative judges on the court and that's why we have to change the rules of the United States Senate."
- hero/patriot John Kerry, 4/20/05.

***

Quote of the day
"Pope Benedict XVI gets new email account, only to be plagued by Nigerian Cardinal spam."
- headline at Fark


Thanks to the General for the pic.
***

Up yours
Vicious harpy mAnn Coulter receives a 'cease and desist' letter for altering a copyrighted photo from Time magazine and displaying it on her website, www.derangedfascistwitch.com (I'm not posting the actual link. You can probably find it by searching for repulsive+evil+skank).


***

Doesn't he have anything better to do?
Rick Santorum - an even bigger asshat than was thought humanly possible.


***

Dear Time
Jebus, you blow.
Sincerely,
A former reader

"Time’s cover story/whitewash of Ann Coulter will make it impossible for serious people to accept what the magazine reports at face value ever again."
- Eric Alterman.

What, wasn't Michael Jackson available?

People are cancelling their subscriptions to Repug Hand-Job Weekly Time magazine in the wake of their mAnn Coulter spunkfest. Just a week earlier, Time named the hatefilled, poisonous skank one of "the world's most influential people," which in itself was a head-scratcher, if not a vomit-inducer. For what, exactly? I'm still trying to grasp their justification of that one. I mean, using their twisted reasoning, they should have included the Abu Ghraib torturers, the Marburg virus, and that priest who was just convicted of sexually abusing all those children. Now this. Give me a fucking break.

The bounds of good taste and polite society are apparently not enough to prevent your magazine from assaulting an unsuspecting public with this wretched newstand eyesore.

Perhaps if you'd had one of your graphic artists add two pointy horns & a forked tail to Ms. Coulter to match her forked tongue, I could have kept my lunch down.

Cordially, HollyC

I have subscribed to Time Magazine since 1961 and I have just cancelled my subscription. Your devoting a cover story to the venomous and despicable Ann Coulter raises such serious questions in my mind about your editorial judgment as well as your commitment to American democracy that I no longer want your magazine in my home. Ann Coulter clearly represents the Right Wing's allegiance to an agenda over American values and the quality of American political discourse. Her easy resort to the foulest invective, her utter contempt for truth and her aggressive ignorance of and contempt for American history and American institutions renders her, in my view, completely outside the boundaries of civil conversation. She, along with her ilk among the rabid agitators of the Right, have poisoned the political conversation in America to the point where it is now a toxic waste dump. If I thought that there was the least shred of integrity behind her attitudes, I would have some begrudging respect for them. However, I see only self-indulgence and self-promotion at the expense of our wonderful country. My father and so many others whose memories she profanes died in the service of this country and I find it utterly despicable that a low-grade demagogue like Ann Coulter, who repeatedly spits on their sacrifices, is then glorified on the cover of Time Magazine for it. It's just unbelievable and you should be ashamed of yourselves!- by GEldridge

The increasing right wing slant of Time, the lack of balance, the decision to put Ann Coulter on the cover has made me furious. I want this magazine OUT of my mail box and am considering it political harassment if it continues. I have called your magazine and called and begged to have this magazine subscription stopped!

I will be subscribing to Newsweek for my `general interest' magazine, and to The Nation, Fair, Mother Jones, Harper's and The Progressive for what I consider 'real news'.
- by leesanne

I haven't subscribed to Time magazine for many years, but have maintained the habit of picking it up at newsstands once or twice a month.
While I've experienced a sense of "diminished returns" from Time over the years, I have to say that objectively speaking, I've felt "diminishing returns" from virtually all the media outlets in recent years, and so never had reason to single out Time specifically.

Your most recent issue with the abominable Ann Coulter on the cover has finally propelled me to drop Time from my reading list completely. Treating this person as a newsworthy figure rather than as the severely disturbed person in need of professional help that she truly is represents a completely incomprehensible lack of judgment on your part.

As if this editorial decision making dynamic was not bad enough, you choose to have this graceless hate-mongering harpy on your cover the same week as the 10th anniversary of the Oklahoma City terrorist attack.

Shame on all of those responsible for this decision regarding Coulter at such a sensitive time. And, most importantly, Goodbye.
- by sbj

Word. They went beyond the pale this time.


***

Where's Walnutbrain?
Being an idiot in DC.

Bush urges politicians to "put aside politics" and just become his subservient lackeys.

Bush blamed partisan bickering in the nation's capital - "where sometimes politics gets in the way of doing the people's business" - for a delay in a committee vote on Bolton's nomination, even though that delay came about only because some Republicans have joined Democrats to force it.

***

Hee-hee!

Sen. Rick Santorum, a leading advocate of the “nuclear option” to end the Democrats’ filibuster of judicial nominees, is privately arguing for a delay in the face of adverse internal party polls.

Details of the polling numbers remain under wraps, but Santorum and other Senate sources concede that, while a majority of Americans oppose the filibuster, the figures show that most also accept the Democratic message that Republicans are trying to destroy the tradition of debate in the Senate.

***

Culture of life
Ahhhhh, g-puke-controlled Texas - the smelly, dark underscrotum of America.

Gays and lesbians becoming foster parents: bad.

Executing your fifth person this year: woohoo!


***

DeLay doo-doo deepens
Skyboxes!

Rethugs offer a sham investigation into the corrupt scumbag's ethical problems. Dems not buying it.


House repugs.
***

Yard, yesterday.

Unfit to serve
Undiplomatic, hostile no-talent assclown should step aside.

Bush's nomination of John Bolton to become United Nations ambassador began as an embarrassment and is ending as a disgrace.

The best case that can be made for Bolton is that he's no worse than other neoconservatives. But Bolton also appears to have a mean streak, a pattern of arrogant recklessness that bodes ill for this assignment. If there is anyone in the US government who needs to be infinitely patient, it's the ambassador at the UN, who must constantly engage representatives of dozens of nations - diplomats Bolton would no doubt find infinitely annoying. Not only does he lack the temperament for the job, it's hard to imagine why he'd want it.

- from an LA Times editorial.


***

It's women's fault

'This "story" appears to have originated at Newsmax, a right-wing site run by a pack of limp, pathetic, sniveling boy-child weenies with unresolved issues about their mothers.'

- Barbara at The MahaBlog. Heh.


***

Horse hockey
Good: Democrat Robert Casey Jr. holds a 14-percentage-point lead over Rick Santorum in the 2006 campaign for the sanctimonious hypocrite's Senate seat.

Bad: Senator Jim Jeffords (I-VT) is retiring.

Ugly: Lincoln Chafee, dickhole.


***

Everything's pissing me off today

Iraq expects to import $3 billion of refined oil this year because its refineries are in such disrepair.

The price of nearly everything rose in March.

After completely eliminating terrorism, Transportation Security Administration official spends $500,000 on art, silk plants, and other decorations.


***

Pope-a-palooza

Enlightened commentator on Ratzinger's papal election: "Great, just what the world needs, another religious fanatic!"

"I hope Ratzinger leads this church to a quick and painful loss of credibility in America and Europe. Let him be a conservative nutjob. This will only disaffect more Americans and more Europeans and cause even fewer young men in the West to enter the priesthood."

"Well, we can always pray for a miracle."

"Good Lord" - Archbishop Desmond Tutu (paraphrasing).


***

Bunnypants hails Pope Benedict
"That was one hell of a breakfast!" the Boy King exclaimed this morning.
/got nothin'


***

Speaking of hypocritical asshats

Condoleezza Rice tells Pooty-Poot that his tightening grips on power and the media are 'very worrying.'

WH propaganda minister Karl Rove calls for more unbiased news reporting.


***

GOP must drop "ethical disaster" DeLay
They would, if they weren't such servile, frightened, slimy little thugbots.

House Republicans should be asking themselves whether they really want to stake their careers defending the folly of a politician who, despite all he has done for the Republican cause, has forgotten where he came from.

DeLay is not discrediting himself - no serious observer of his thuggish behavior over the years ever gave him much credit. He is discrediting his party and the House of Representatives. And Republicans ought to be angry.

Hell, they ought to be mortified.

Fun fact: though slamming people who don't agree with him, blaming Democrats for his transgressions, and advocating taking up arms, DeLay now feels "closer to God." If only.


***

Tom DeLay continues his long descent into madness
- headline at Fark

Contemptible prick now criticizing a Supreme Court Justice.

House Majority Leader/psycho Tom DeLay has upped the rhetoric, saying "judicial activist" and republican appointee Anthony Kennedy's work has been "incredibly outrageous."

"We've got Justice Kennedy writing decisions based upon international law, not the Constitution of the United States? That's just outrageous," DeLay told repuke mouthpiece Fox News Radio on Tuesday. "And not only that, but he said in session that he does his own research on the Internet? That is just incredibly outrageous."

My God, not the internet! The horror!
I guess Mr DeLay thinks he should have used the Bible. And honestly, for him to talk about following the Constitution... the hypocrisy is mindboggling.

DeLay has called repeatedly for the House to find a way to hold the federal judiciary accountable for its decisions. "The judiciary has become so activist and so isolated from the American people that it's our job to do that," he said.

One way would be for the House Judiciary Committee to investigate the clause in the Constitution that says "judges can serve as long as they serve with good behavior," he said. "We want to define what good behavior means. And that's where you have to start."

An appallingly corrupt piece of shit is going to decide what is good behavior? Excuse me while I go change my undies...


***

Headline of the day

doddering republican adulterer to quit congress

- from skippy the bush kangeroo.


***

Egg Benedict
Catholic church tells Jews, women, progressives to suck its dick like a 10-year-old altar boy.

Cardinals choose Joseph Ratzinger of Germany - hard-line conservative and former Hitler Youth - as the new pope.


***

You can take my SS check when you pry it from my cold dead hands
Not content with wrecking Social Security, Preznit Privilege wants to raise the retirement age, put really old people on ice floes.


***

Last night on Hannity and Corpse
G-puke propagandist Sean insHannity orally pleasures the compassionate, humane folks of the Minuteman Project.


***

Dur!
Those wacky rightwingnuts...

Liberals hate Tom DeLay because he was... an exterminator!
- brown-nosed flake Rich Lowry.

"It's a pretty sad day in America when one cannot criticize the judiciary and even individual judges without being accused of advocating violence against judges. This strained connection is but another example of liberals trying to chill conservative speech."
- egregious gasbag David Limbaugh.


Mr DeLay at the NRA convention this past weekend, where he spoke about 'activist judges' and said "When a man is in trouble or in a good fight, he wants all of his friends around him, particularly armed.''
***

Values and accountability
So it's not a crime if you don't get caught?

Urged by fellow republicans to respond to charges of possible criminal ethical lapses, corrupt scumbag Tom DeLay sent a mass e-mail to supporters reminding them that, according to his hand-picked group comprised of campaign donors, he has not been found to have violated any rules or laws.

And anyway, if he did, it's the Democrat-owned media's fault.


The House majority leader.
***

Time to hire a researcher
"An accurate picture of Ann would prominently show his adam’s apple." - comment by Gary K.

Phoning it in from the stank-filled bedroom of a GOP operative, Time interviewer continues the magazine's slide into insignificance, disgrace, and total whoredom.

What a joke. Below are just a few of [mAnn Coulter]’s most recent outright errors, distortions, and lies:

Coulter lied and distorted to defend fake reporter “Jeff Gannon"; falsely attacked President Clinton’s remarks on the tsunami relief effort; falsely claimed that the New York Times op-ed page “outed” gays and quoted NYT columnists out of context to defend inauguration costs; distorted and attacked Sen. Kennedy’s major Iraq speech; claimed that reports of hundreds of tons of munitions being looted in Iraq were “false"; distorted a 2002 article by New York Times columnist Nicholas D. Kristof that predicted the difficulties of the Iraq war; falsely implied that the group behind a December 21 attack on American soldiers in Mosul was not linked to Al Qaeda; defended Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld by falsely claiming that a reporter had devised a controversial question a soldier posed to Rumsfeld; falsely claimed that the U.S. Commission on Civil Rights was unable to identify any African-Americans in Florida who had been wrongly disenfranchised during the 2000 election ("We’ve found more WMDs in Iraq than we’ve found disenfranchised blacks in Florida"); and printed scores of errors (as well as specious ‘corrections’ of those errors) in her books.

- Think Progress.

Fun fact: Google results for Ann+Coulter+lies: about 222,000.


***

Evangelicals pissed at Bunnypants
Intolerant right-wing a-holes "steamed he's not living up to gay-bashing promises," BuzzFlash reports.

"How come he's not stumping across America defending marriage?'' said Phil Burress, president of Citizens for Community Values in Ohio. "Marriage is a whole lot more important than Social Security.''

Fun fact: Mr Burress was a "porn addict" whose first ">two marriages ended in divorce.

"We're wising up to the fact that we're very important nine months before an election and we're not very important nine days after that election,'' said Don "Jews are criminals and Spongebob is a hell-bound homo" Wildmon, chairman of the American Family Association.

If by "American" you mean "bigoted, sanctimonious asshat."

There is "a lot of disappointment'' among those who voted for Bush expecting him to make his primary focus in a second term a constitutional amendment banning gay marriage and other social values issues, Wildmon said.

Tell me you wouldn't like to see this guy's phiz used as a punching bag. By a 380-lb Jewish African-American guy named Rose-Marie:


Gah!
***

True
Billmon at the Whisky Bar has the true version of the Time cover:


Clicky.
***

More bad news for Smirky McStupidson

An April Iowa poll show that those in the heartland state of Iowa may not President Bush as readily as they once did, according to weekend statistical reviews in Sunday's Des Moines Register. Mirroring the rest of the country, the poll numerically displayed citizens' distrust of the President's capacity to govern. The usual topics were covered: including job efficacy, Social Security, and Iraq, evoking recently familiar responses: such as disappointment, confusion, agitation (respectively).

***

So many assholes, so little space
This week's top 10 conservative idiots, at DemoUnderground.


***

Dear whores Time
Are you guys just lazy? or stupid? or both?
Love,
skippy.


***

Actually, it's an improvement
The unretouched version of the mAnn Coulter Time cover photo:


Clicky.
***

Insane, Q-Tip-shaped skank outraged by pic
Time photographer, undergoing therapy, may charge repulsive harridan mAnn Coulter for new camera.

Fascistic, transvestite harpy not satisfied with the already-high level of nausea caused by Time's choice of cover photo, drudge 'reports.'


***

If the shoe fits...
"The President's team is increasingly frustrated by the majority leader's inability to mount a defense more persuasive than blaming his problems on a liberal conspiracy.

"DeLay, says a senior misadministration official, 'is handling this like an idiot.'"

Indeed.


***

It must be the fault of the liberal media, for reporting it
Fox Nooze shocked, shocked to find that Bush's town hall Social Security audiences are pre-screened.


***

G-puke loser cries for attention, relevance
Trent "I used to be somebody!" Lott urges Bush to give disgraced, corrupt scumbag DeLay 'aggressive support.'

Fat chance, butthole - Karl will never allow it.


***

Nuge spooge
Apparently, Ted Nugent is fed up with those pesky activist judges and that whole inconvenient "law" thing.

Yeah, there's a guy I'd want representing me -

"Remember the Alamo! Shoot 'em!" he screamed to applause. "To show you how radical I am, I want carjackers dead. I want rapists dead. I want burglars dead. I want child molesters dead. I want the bad guys dead. No court case. No parole. No early release. I want 'em dead. Get a gun and when they attack you, shoot 'em!"

Uhhhh... suuuuuuure, Ted, anything you say....
#ucking psycho.


***

DeLay, repukes eat worms, WH-friendly paper opines
Wow. USA Toady actually publishes an op-ed critical of Tom DeLay and the rethugs.


***

I'm having a hard time waking up today.



Il Ducebag’s job ratings plunge down crapper
Though we usually see a corresponding terra lert, the odds of that happening are pretty slim right now, considering the controversy surrounding the results of the latest international terrorism report.

The last month has not been a good one for Monkey McMoron and the rethugs. Most people have opposed the Boy King’s proposals for destroying Social Security and most were unhappy with the positions taken by republicans in the Terri Schiavo case. The result is that the president’s job ratings have fallen to 44 percent positive, 56 percent negative, the of his presidency.

Large majorities continue to give negative marks to both Congressional Democrats (64% negative) and Republicans (61% negative).

Fewer people give a shit about Senate Majority leader/douchebag Bill Frist and House Speaker Dennis "Yes, Mr DeLay" Hastert, but those who do tend to be negative on both Frist (51% negative) and Hastert (50% negative).

The poll did not include corrupt shitheel Tom DeLay, but the NY Times reports that even to repugs in his own district of Texas he has "become an embarrassment."


***

Values
Wouldn't Jesus just turn the other cheek or something?

Sen. John McCain disagrees with his party over the anti-filibuster option in appointment of judges. Republicans respond with a smear campaign.


***

Full of...
Well, THIS takes the cake

“It’s disturbing that Howard Dean would plot to use the life of Terri Schiavo for political gain. This demonstrates a troubling lack of sensitivity and one would hope that Democrat leaders in Congress would reject such a strategy.

“The American people expect their leaders to provide solutions and principled leadership rather than overt partisan politicking.”

- the comedic stylings of Republican National Committee spokeswoman/asshat Tracey Schmitt.


***

Cool
Elizabeth Mornigello's beautiful and haunting "WTF?".


***

FYI
More YFU on Tom 'scumbag' DeLay

House of Scandal

Write out DeLay

DeLay's obscene apology

Tom DeLay's power trip

Embarrassed by controversies, former GOP congressman leads effort to oust DeLay

A challenge to the ethically challenged

And disturbingly, DeLay's slimy financial backers unfazed by ethical cesspool


Go to Hell, scumbag.
***

I'm sure he didn't mean anything by that
Ethically-challenged sleazeball Tom DeLay accused liberal Democrats and the national media of giving him a hard time in a keynote speech at the National Rifle Association's annual convention Saturday evening.

The corrupt scumbag only briefly mentioned the ethics accusations, telling members of the gun-rights group that he appreciated their support.

"When a man is in trouble or in a good fight, he wants all of his friends around him, particularly armed,'' the idiot said. "So I'm in good company tonight.''

Jebus.

About 2,550 NRA members paid $75 to hear DeLay's speech and dine - rather au Francais - on salad with goat cheese and sirloin steak with peppercorn cognac sauce.


***

Dear Alberto Gonzales
Why has no one has been charged in the retaliatory outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame?
Gravely concerned,
The Democrats on the House of Representatives Intelligence Panel

Dear Demonrats,
Partisan politics! Media stunt! Losers! Pthththththth!
Yours in Christ,
Repukes

Well, there goes my breakfast
Hatefilled skank to be featured in- and on the cover of - Time.

You want a piece of me?

Gah! Everybody out of the pool! Here comes Rush Limbaugh!!

Jesus. OK, let’s try this again, George: right, left, right, left….

Keepin’ us safer?
The Bush misadministration is so dedicated to fighting terrorism that it just eliminated the 19-year-old international terrorism report.

The State Department decided to stop publishing an annual report on international terrorism after the government's top terrorism center concluded that there were more terrorist attacks in 2004 than in any year since 1985, the first year the publication covered.

Current and former officials charged that Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice's office ordered "Patterns of Global Terrorism" eliminated several weeks ago because the 2004 statistics raised disturbing questions about the Bush's administration's frequent claims of progress in the war against terrorism.

***

Kewl
CNN's Inside the Blogs segment today mentioned our buds The MahaBlog!

CAL CHAMBERLAIN, CNN BLOG CORRESPONDETN: And then over on the left, we have Barbara O'Brien at the MahaBlog at mahablog.com who has a post about the importance of keeping the filibuster. And she evokes good old Jimmy Stewart.

She says, "I keep thinking that if the Democrats really did have some pull in the entertainment industry they would see to it the old classic Mr. Smith Goes To Washington would be on television, broadcast on cable 24/7." It's kind of funny.

Cigars on me!


***

Monkey-in-a-man-suit deemed complete turn-off by women
Bush rated very, very low for 'sex appeal' in an international poll. Belligerence, lack of intelligence, stupid chimpy face aren't all that attractive, the Duh Institute reports.


***

Yee-haw
Hypocrisy, Hot-tubs and assHats plus Booze, Bimbos and Bullets - all on the same ticket!

House Majority Leader/nutcase Tom DeLay will be the keynote speaker tomorrow at the National Rifle Association's annual convention. Also on tomorrow's program: a session called "God, Guns and Rock-n-Roll," featuring draft-dodging, pussy-chasing has-been Ted Nugent.


***

Friday cat blogging


Ozzy finally says the hell with it.
***

Repuke Senator backing sanctity-of-marriage amendment divorced for cheating on wife
State Sen. Jeff Miller, who sponsored a constitutional amendment aimed at "solemnizing the relationship of one man and one woman" is accused of "inappropriate marital conduct" in a divorce complaint filed by his wife.

Fun moral-values fact: Miller stopped an attempt to include a constitutional ban on adultery in the amendment.


***

Friday cat blogging


Egon and Ozzy wonder why the hell Jaffa gets to go out, but not them.
***

Kumbayah, dickhead
Hi. If you're one of the many citizens of this democracy - this great freedom-loving nation - who do not belong to our religion, you can pretty much go #uck yourselves. I mean, let's face it, who the hell do you think you are? I'm Bill Frist, and I approved this message.

Senate majority leader/douchebag Bill Frist has agreed to join prominent 'Christian' conservatives in a telecast portraying Democrats as "against people of faith" for blocking the Chimperor's activist nominees for judgeship.


***

Friday cat blogging


Jaffa groovin' on the spring weather after he snuck outside.
***

Keepin' us safer
Bush thinks it's ridiculous to need a passport when crossing the border. Even though he himself signed the bill into law in December.

***

It depends on what the meaning of the word "ever" is
As "activist journalists" and their Democrat collaborators try to destroy him, Tom DeLay finds brief solace with a full-frontal from the WH WHores at the Moonie Times:

The Washington Times: Have you ever crossed the line of ethical behavior in terms of dealing with lobbyists, your use of government authority or with fundraising?

Corrupt scumbag DeLay: 'Ever' is a very strong word.

The Washington Times: So... how can Congress stop activist judges?


***

So, was Bunnypants' pitch last night both bold and manly?


IOKIYAR*
Not wishing to blow his job, admitted drug abuser Rush Limbaugh apologizes for his "slip of the tongue."

The FCC has given a pass to a diatribe about blowjobs, blowjobs, blowjobs given on air by ranting, hyperventilating g-puke mouthpiece Vile Pigboy in the heat of “unbridled passion."

In a fit of jealousy and sour grapes, the tumescent, fleshy windbag went on to blame President Clinton for making oral sex "the number one sport in high school today." Sounds as though beating up on the asstool was the number one sport when poor little Rushie was in school.


"Here, Rush - take some of these, you'll feel better. I'm a doctor, you know."
***
*It's OK If You're A Republican

PSM
Spawning? The Trendy Name Generator may come in handy when choosing a name for your whelp.


***

Sharin' a brewski with the Lord
It's a sad state of affairs when you're too afraid to mention the "Holy Hand-Grenade" in the same post with Monkey McMoron.

Jebus's Fave-rit Preznit talked to reporters traveling with him on Air Force One about Jesus after attending the pope's funeral in Rome last week. For 47 minutes, Bunnypants and the journalists had an intimate, friendly chat largely about the pope, his legacy and W's own "walk with Christ."

"There is no doubt in my mind there is a living God. And no doubt in my mind that Lord, Christ, was sent by the Almighty. No doubt in my mind about that," the Smirking Idiot said.

Right. I was born and raised a Roman Catholic, and find this shit both pandering and appalling. When you think of all the crimes that were committed in the name of Jesus, even just by Dumbya himself, bragging about your relationship with him really doesn't mean squat.


***

Koering, sharing...
Minnesota repuglican state senator Paul 'cornholing' Koering, who has voted with fellow conservatives for a constitutional ballot banning same-sex marriage, revealed Wednesday that he is gay.

"I've always thought that my personal life was just that - personal," Koering said. "I'm hoping to put all this behind me by the end of the week and get back to doing my job. Oh, and to 'out' fellow gay republicans."


"Fuck!!"
***

My Pet Goat Burns in Hell
"Left Behind" for kids: pictures and easy words tell the story how their classmates will burn in the tribulations.


***

Call the FCC!
Rush Limbaugh and blowjobs: three words you do not want to hear anywhere near each other. Ever.


***

Great - now I have that stupid music playing in my head
Sounding like a scene straight out of a Benny Hill sketch, Mitch at the Corzine Connection describes his efforts to get a ticket to Dick 'dick' Cheney's "town meeting" on Social inSecurity in NJ this Friday.


***

Good God

"Jim, you think he's with Jesus now? We only have 30 seconds."
- Larry King to Jesus Chainsaw Massacre star Jim Caviezel, on the Pope's death.

I'm still sitting here with my jaw open over that one.


***

No, just the vice president
Supreme Court Justice 'Fat Tony' Scalia comes face-to-face with law students protesting his visit at NYU.

The Q-and-A opened with hostility as audience members expressed frustration with many of Scalia's opinions.

In asking about Scalia's dissent in Lawrence v. Texas and his view that privacy is not constitutionally protected, Eric Berndt, a law student, shocked the crowd by asking, "Do you sodomize your wife?"

Scalia refused to answer the question while the crowd gasped and the administrators promptly turned off Berndt's microphone.

Cluck cluck, assclown.


***

Having your cake and eating it
White House spokes-tool Scott McClellan said Preznit Partyhat considers corrupt sleazeball DeLay a friend, but suggested that the ethically-challenged pariah is "more of a business associate than a social pal."

That's not very reassuring, considering the majority leader's penchant for bad business decisions, Scott.

"I think there are different levels of friendship with anybody," McClellan said.

Such as the "Shit - it's DeLay! Don't pick up the phone!" level, I suppose.


***

Pic from NASA.


Too little, too late
But man, that's gotta hurt.

"Sob! I'm not really a creep - I just play one on liberal TV!"
Jerkoff.

Walking slick of rotting smegma Tom DeLay apologized Wednesday for his pointed rhetoric about judges in the Terri Schiavo case, but declined to say whether he favors impeaching them, or going straight to drawing-and-quartering.

"Sometimes I get a little more passionate, particularly the moment and the day that Terri Schiavo was starved to death," he said, still parroting the inflammatory talking points of the repuke religious right. DeLay added that his criticism was expressed "in an inartful way and (I) should not have said it that way and I apologize for saying it that way."

"It was taken wrong," he told reporter-stenographers, by that damned left-wing conspiracy in the liberal media who are out to get him.

Nevertheless, the Corrupt Scumbag said he wants the Judiciary Committee to look for ways to deal with what he called "judicial activism," and suggested possibilities such as curtailing certain courts' jurisdiction and even redrawing boundaries of the federal circuits.

Good grief.


***

Quote
"Tom [DeLay] believes in checks and balances -- donor's checks and his off shore bank account balances."
- seen at the BartCop Forum.


***

Hugs

Thank you to everyone who wrote in about Duffy. It really meant a lot, and helped me get through the last couple of days. You guys are great!

***

No kidding
Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld are a species of slime-mold beetles, the Duh Institute reports.


***

It's my pity party and I'll cry if I want to
Admitted drug abuser Rush Limbaugh loses it.

Every once in a while, when I need a good laugh, I go over to the Vile Pigboy's website. He sure didn't disappoint today, throwing a hissy fit over Dems and repukes alike, and some mysterious, anonymous - possibly imaginary - "phonies" and freeloaders.

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'm gonna go eat worms...

I cannot tell you how angry, and everything that's happened this morning is just irritating the absolute living daylights out of me and I'm just about ready to chuck all this and head to some island, get everybody's hands out of my back pocket as soon as I frigging can because I have had it. I've had it with the state of New York. I've had it with the federal government.

I'm sick and tired of phonies that live their lives only to get media coverage instead of be real. I'm sick and tired of... I can't find people who are real to hang around. All I get is a bunch of phonies that want to use me or find a way to use me to get their names out there, make themselves famous or what have you in the meantime I'm trying to get things done here.

The bugs! Get the bugs off me! Ahhhhhhhhhh!

Jebus, Rush, you better pop some more hillbilly heroin before you stroke out, dude.


Life sucks, then you die, you pathetic asstool.
***

This is rich
Rumsfeld warns Iraq about cronyism: "Government appointments in ministries should be for the good of Iraq and not based on party loyalties or retribution."


"Thank you - I'll be here all week. Try the pork."
***

wHoreward Kurtz accused of pro-right bias, sucking off the gop, being a lazy, no-talent rightwing hack

"As if being a criminally negligent reporter is not enough of a disgrace, Kurtz has now passed Wolf Blitzer in his downhill race to replace Larry King as the most irrelevant creature in journalism."
- comment by sbj. Heh.

To: Michael Getler, Ombudsman for the Washington Post
Re: Reporting by Mr. Howard Kurtz, Media Reporter for the Washington Post

Dear Mr. Getler:

Wtf? Are you actually paying conservative stenographer/asscheese Ho' ward Kurtz to scan rightwing talking points into your publication? And do you have to hose him off before he enters your building?

Sincerely,
Daily Kos contributor Armando (paraphrasing).


***

Piling on
Yet another Senate republican dumped on corrupt blowhard Tom DeLay Monday, saying he "needs to do more to address ethics accusations" leveled against him.

"We've got to uphold the highest standards of legality and ethics,'' Lincoln Chafee, R-Hero, said Monday. "You can't have your leader under a cloud. It makes it difficult to run."

Mr Chafee's comments were brushed aside by a repuke leader, who told reporters "Shit, what do you expect? He's practically a Democrat anyway."


***

I forget who did this.

Cure me... or kill me

God is waking up to unholy screeches in Heaven today.

Sorry about the lack of posts. I spent all of yesterday sleeping. I slept until 1 PM, went downstairs to feed the critters, fell asleep on the couch, came back upstairs and watched 'House,' then went to bed.

Everything hurts.

OK, I'm done whining.

DeLay urges GOP to blame Dems over his lack of ethics
Boy, that just about says it all, doesn't it.

From the party that promised to bring accountability and values back to DC -

House Majority Leader/scumbag Tom DeLay, hoping to hold support among fellow rethugs, urged GOP senators Tuesday to blame Democrats if asked about his ethics controversy, and accused the news media of twisting supportive comments so they sounded like criticism.

Officials said DeLay ordered recommended that senators respond to questions by saying Democrats have no agenda other than partisanship, and are attacking him to prevent Republicans from accomplishing their legislative program. One Republican said the Texan referred to a "vast left-wing conspir mammoth operation" funded by Democratic supporters and designed to destroy him as a symbol of the Republican majority.

What a fucking headcase. What a sad, pathetic, power-mad partisan pile of excrement.


Eat it, scumbag.
***

Yeah, sure
UN hater and no-talent assclown John Bolton faces 'tough questioning' by Senate pussies Democrats today in his bid to become US ambassador to the United Nations.


***

Fun fact: smarmy assh*le Bill Kristol thinks a fellow Weekly Standard contributor and fellow PNAC neocon would make a great U.N. ambassador.

So many morons, so little space
This week's top 10 conservative idiots, at DemoUnderground.


***

Where's Walnutbrain?
Squinty the Chimp is havin' a 'working vacation' at his doodranch, the Lazy W. Today he'll be hosting Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon, of whom he will demand a freeze of Israeli settlement activity, over a typical lunch of milkshakes an' bbq'd pork.


***

Liberal smear campaign, huh?
Tom 'scumbag' DeLay criticized by fellow Republicans, one demands his resignation.


"They're attacking everything we stand for!"
And that would be what, exactly?
***

Mini-daffs, near the back deck.

Duffy

My little yellow-collar macaw Duffy died last night. She was such an affectionate little thing, very sweet and bouncy and full of life. I always had to wear two shirts at the same time around her because she loved hiding under one of them, squeaking "I'm under! I'm under!" and making purring noises or laughing. She used to give me great beaky kisses complete with mmmwwwaaa! sounds, and would throw herself at me, upside-down, so I would catch her and tickle her. She had this thing for toes - I guess she thought they were baby birds, because she would always puke on them as if she were trying to feed them - but what she really liked was grooming the little plastic bits off the end of shoelaces. No shoes were safe from her - she'd make a bee-line for any pair she saw. Her favorite toys were new shoelaces strung with plastic beads. She would spend all day untying the knots in them, but as soon as I came home she'd just want to crawl under my shirt and be held.

She will be missed so much.

***

Remember Valerie Plame!
With all ethical and national safety problems solved, Congress is considering launching its own investigation into the alleged theft of terrorism documents by former Clinton national security advisor Sandy Berger.

DeLay pal and fellow disgrace suggests the corrupt asstool "may be headed for hotter water"

"DeLay knew everything. He knew all the details."

- the House majority fucktard's pet lobbyist/travel agent/golf partner Jack Abramoff.


Eat it, scumwad.
***

Santorum: DeLay needs to address ethics questions
Senator Rick "man-on-dog" Santorum turns on pile o' crap Tom 'scumbag' DeLay:

The House majority leader needs to answer questions about his ethics and "let the people then judge for themselves."

Santorum's comments seem to reflect the nervousness among congressional Republicans about the fallout from the increased scrutiny into DeLay's slimy, possibly corrupt way of doing business.

Senior Democratic senator Christopher 'big nuts' Dodd had this advice for the rethugs who control both the House and Senate: "Be careful about how closely you embrace that shithead Mr. DeLay."

Heh.

Too good not to share
"He is an absolute embarrassment to me and to the Republican Party."

- US Rep. Christopher Shays, republican, on Tom 'Scumbag' DeLay.


The House majority leader.
***

Prepare for a bloodbath
No, not Tiger Woods mowing down 65 - rethugs launch 'counteroffensive' to try to protect insane, power-mad bully Tom DeLay against the daily onslaught of stories dealing with his sleazy, possibly criminal enterprises.

Allies and friends of ethically-challenged scumbag Tom DeLay plan to try to preserve his power by launching an aggressive media strategy aimed at demonizing Democrats and the "liberal media."

According to party sources, top Republican aides now have a daily conference call in which they trade intelligence about upcoming DeLay stories so they can form a united front in responding.

Pathetic. What a #ucking disgrace the repuke party is.

First thing I thought of
"Correct me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key."

Woods shoots 65.

Things to do today
1. My taxes
2. Clean out the litterboxes
3. Enjoy the beautiful outdoors, with a cigar or two.


Me first!
***

I can't hold her together much longer, Captain!
/reboobs, channeling Scotty

People For the American Way has asked Senate Majority Leader/douchebag Bill Frist (R-Kittenkiller) to withdraw his sponsorship of a Capitol tour led by a right-wing advocate for judicial intimidation and impeachment.

From the letter:
Dear Fuckwit,
Put your money where your hypocritical, stupid pie-hole is.

[H]osting Mr. Barton will only add further fuel to a fire of Republicans’ own making.

The Senate and the courts would be better served by a return to bipartisan consultation on judicial nominations. I hope you will reach out to the President and urge him to restore a process that results in him sending well-qualified, consensus judicial candidates who can enjoy significant bipartisan support to the Senate. For over 200 years that has been the path to a fair and independent judiciary. The Senate and the President should return to that course.

Smackdown!
LOL. I don't know what's funnier, WH prostitute Jeff Gannon trying to pass himself off as some kind of journalistic hero, saying "Well, you can hardly call Fox News conservative" or getting righteously bitchslapped by the other panel members for his craptitude. You've GOT to watch the video.


***

This is just psychotic
In DC conference, conservative lawyer says Stalin would have known how to handle "judicial tyranny."

Ominously, Vieira continued by saying his "bottom line" for dealing with the Supreme Court comes from Joseph Stalin. "He had a slogan, and it worked very well for him, whenever he ran into difficulty: 'no man, no problem,' " Vieira said.

The full Stalin quote, for those who don't recognize it, is "Death solves all problems: no man, no problem."

***

Bush picks brains of Clinton, his own nose
Moronic sockpuppet gets advice from real President.

Squinty McStupid solicited foreign policy advice from former President Bill Clinton at CIA briefings this week and even told Mr. Clinton that he liked his approach to reforming Social Security. "It was really a lot of fun," Bunnypants told reporters.


***

The people of the sovereign nation of Iraq have spoken
"Get the hell out."

Tens of thousands of Iraqi citizens take to the streets in an anti-Bush protest in Baghdad.

“Force the occupation to leave from our country,” one banner read in English. I hear you, dude.


***

Pic by Kevin Temple.


People like this piss me the fuck off
Prominent gay- and liberal-bashing republican marries his gay male partner.

Some of Mr. Finkelstein's associates said they were startled to learn that this prominent American conservative had married a man, given his history with the party, especially at a time when many Republican leaders, including President Bush, have campaigned against same-sex marriage and proposed amending the Constitution to ban it.

Mr. Finkelstein has been allied over the years with Republicans who have fiercely opposed gay rights measures, including former Senator Jesse Helms of North Carolina.

Jebus Christ.


***

Friday random ten
01. Shook Me All Night Long – AC/DC
02. I Can’t Get Next To You – the Temptations
03. Mama Told Me Not to Come – Tom Jones ‘n’ the Stereophonics
04. Kiss Him Goodbye – Steam
05. Easy Livin’ – Uriah Heep
06. It’s Not Unusual – Tom Jones
07. You Could Be Mine – Guns N’ Roses
08. She’s Not There – the Zombies
09. Call Me – Blondie
10. Carol of the Bells – Gary Hoey

Bonus track: Chattanooga Choo-Choo - Glenn Miller

Too good not to share
From Kos:

Perhaps, this will bring a tear to your eye. In contrast to the waves of Booooing that hit Bush today at the Pope's funeral, Bill Clinton was mobbed and greeted with adoring chants of U.S.A.!, U.S.A.!, U.S.A.!

As Mr. Clinton went for a walk, shoppers, tourists having lunch at outdoor cafes and Italian businesspeople going to meetings all stopped to greet him.

[B]y the time Mr. Clinton made it out of the back streets and into the open square, a mob of hundreds developed.

Yowza!
***

Cool
The remains of a half-million-year-old mammoth have been discovered at a construction site in Southern California.

Damn activist paleontologists - don't they know the Earth is only 6000 years old?

A rare marble floor dating from the first century CE was unearthed during excavations of ancient Tiberias, apparently a remnant of the palace of Herod Antipas, son of Herod the Great.


***

Bwwwwaaaaaa
When in Rome... Boy King booed at Pope's funeral.


***

God. Can't the misadministration get anything right?
Congressional investigators are probing a new allegation that inept douchebag John Bolton, the Chimperor's pick for U.N. ambassador, once visited CIA headquarters to demand the removal of a top intelligence analyst who disagreed with him on Cuba's biological warfare capabilities.


***

Friday cat blogging


Jaffa, Egon and Berry keep watch for aliens, rogue molecules, black helicopters.
***

Moral values
More hijinks from the compassionate culture-of-life, defending-life-for-all-Americans-including-those-with-disabilities, building-a-safe-and-nurturing-society-where-all-Americans-are-valued-welcomed-and-protected crowd of hypocritical assclowns.

Missouri GOP cuts Medicaid for 100,000 single parents, disabled, and the elderly.


***

Welcome to Bushistan
"Let me see your papers..."

"If the TV discussion show from the early 1960s, 'Your Right to Say It,' were broadcast today, it would be called, 'How Dare You Criticize the President.'"

- Land of the free? Kinko's calls in the Feds to report "suspicious copying."

"There seems to be a tad bit of a problem with expressing political dissent in America when you can be investigated for working within a political party to oust the current Administration."

- A Daily Kos contributor gets a visit from the SS on his way to a meeting with the DNC.


***

Popy McPoperson
Why the new Pontiff could conceivably be called Skippy.


***

DeLay loses it
Dangerous, possibly criminal nincompoopery as corrupt sleazeball Tom 'culture of life' DeLay continues to incite violence.

Insane scumbag Tom DeLay was at it again Thursday, in a "fiery" denunciation of 'activist judges' via videotape to the closedminded, puritan Savaranolas at the Confronting the Judicial War on Faith meeting.

The House majority leader escalated his talk of a battle between the legislative and judicial branches of government, saying federal courts had not only "run amok," but were out of control - and that Congress "should reassert constitutional authority" over the courts.

"Our next step, whatever it is, must be more than rhetoric," DeLay said. From the Vatican, mind you.

How very #ucking Christian of you.


***

Heh

'CBS wins Peabody Award for breaking the Abu Ghraib story. Bill O'Reilly seen fondling his Polk Award and muttering "It's OK. You're important too..."'

- headline at Fark.

Fun fact: The Daily Show with Jon Stewart won its second Peabody Award, for its coverage of the election.


***

Pic from Webshots.com.

Worst... president... ever
Poll: Bush standing with public weakening.

"If [the Smirking Sockpuppet] wants to make Social Security his legacy," Republican adviser Ed Rollins said, he faces the risk that "there will be no legacy."

Monkey McMoron's approval numbers are still in the crapper, but Americans have an even lower regard for the job being done by Congress. Record high gas prices, nervousness about Social Security, the ongoing Iraq war and the Terri Schiavo case are all contributing, political analysts said.

Democrats, meanwhile, are pondering how best to tap into public dissatisfaction with Bush and the GOP-led Congress. Oooh, look, a shiny penny!


***

Asshole
Jeb Bush calls the author of a bill banning professors from being too liberal as a "freedom fighter."


***

Great moments in asshattery
Insane scumbag Tom DeLay tours Saipan sweatshops, tells them "You represent everything that is good about what we are trying to do in America."


***

Alternate fuel sources? Hybrid cars?
Feh, please. Those are so 2004.

Congress's energy "solution" is to fiddle with daylight savings time.


***

Falafel abuser going to Hell
Bill O'Reilly: the Pope was a "detached-from-reality Saddam-enabler."


***

Most Americans wary of GOP's moral agenda
Poll: Public disliked Schiavo intervention, thinks GOP sucks major monkey ass.

The case has created a “clear backlash” against grandstanding rethugs and their pandering to the religious right.

The controversy over Terri Schiavo has raised concerns among many Americans about the so-called moral agenda of the rethuglican party, the interference by the repukes into private lives, and the political power of conservative Christians, a USA TODAY/CNN/Gallup Poll finds.

***

Moral values

Videotape of Jenna Bush in very high spirits at a bachelorette party is being sold and could end up on national TV by the end of the week. Luckily for Jenna, the cameraman missed "the high point . . . Jenna on all fours doing 'the butt dance' as guys were ogling her thong." Club patrons do the suggestive dance when the deejay plays the 1988 hit "Da Butt," by E.U.

- linky. That sounds painful, if not humiliating.


***

Meanwhile, at the Vatican...


Duhbya: "Cookies, cookies, I like cookies. Cookies cookies are so good."

Pickles Stepford: "If George says 'four more years!' one more time while we're in bed, I'm going to drive a stake through his heart. God, I'm stoned..."

*****

"This would be a story if DeLay was a Democrat"
Here's an experiment: replace Tom DeLay's name with "Bill Clinton" in any one of those stories - especially the hot-tub one - then imagine the response by the rethugs and their media whores.


***

DeLay daughter's baby shower held by Texas energy firm under investigation
Among the shower's guests was Jack Abramoff, Tom 'Scumbag' DeLay's pet lobbyist, travel agent, and fellow sleazebag.

Wtf? Aren't baby showers supposed to be a chick thing? How very bizarre. Maybe he showed up as a Chippendale's dancer?


***

The political shitstorm around DeLay is about to intensify
The Moderate Voice says human shit-heap Tom DeLay is becoming a liability to the party - and that the repukes may be helping to push the corrupt prick right out the door.

DeLay is now under the journalistic looking glass. And top GOP operatives who may feel he is dragging their party down most assuredly know it. Are they sitting back and reading the stories or helping facilitate the stories?

#uck that - look, the Pope's still dead...


Republicans
***

Best wishes to my little cat SpiceGirl, who's at the vet recovering from the Big Snip.


***

Crude liberal bias! Political dirty tricks! Forgery! Dan Rather!
Eat it, repukes. And while you're at it, would you like some whine with that crow?

Fuc Tucker Carlson on Chris Matthews' show:

"Last week a memo surfaced, reportedly written by the Republican members of Congress explaining how to make hay with the Terri Schiavo case. I think within a week or two it will become clear that that memo was a forgery, possibly written by Democrats on the hill in an effort to discredit Republicans. Bloggers are saying that now and it sounds like they may be right."

Wrong.

Counsel to GOP senator wrote memo on politicizing Schiavo case
After weeks of conservative mouthpieces and webtroglodytes challenging its authenticity, an aide to Sen. Mel Martinez (R-Fla.) finally admitted yesterday that he was the author of the infamous "great political issue ... and a tough issue for Democrats" memo (Martinez said he himself had not read the memo, just "inadvertently passed it on." Uh-huh. The "I'm a clueless dumbass who doesn't know what my staff is doing" defense.).

Sen. Joe Biden (D-Del.) said he always believed that the memo originated with the GOP because it is "totally consistent" with how the rethugs have operated for the past four years.

Snort. Word to that.


Republicans
***

Al Gore invents cable TV
His new channel, Watching Paint Dry, will debut August 1st.

/just funning.

***

"They say this time there will be repercussions. The officers who told Bush the lies he wanted to hear will either be fired, suspended, or transferred to work on Social Security." - Bill Maher, on the latest report on Iraq intelligence failures.

"One in four returning Iraqi veterans have been diagnosed with a mental disorder. I know that sounds high, but it does include everybody who says, 'Am I crazy, or were we sent there under false pretenses?'" - Bill Maher.

Coroner: Terri Schiavo died of embarrassment. - The Onion.




No whey!

Kurd leader named Iraqi president.




DeLay is toast!! *
Three times a charm? Three strikes you're out? Three shakes and you're playing with it?

A third DeLay trip is under scrutiny for possible criminalitude.

A six-day trip to Moscow in 1997 by possible felon Tom "kill all the activist judges!" DeLay (R-Insane) was underwritten by business interests lobbying in support of the Russian government, according to four people with firsthand knowledge of the trip arrangements.

DeLay reported that the trip was sponsored by a Washington-based nonprofit organization. But interviews with those involved in planning the lying sleazebag's trip say the expenses were covered by a mysterious company registered in the Bahamas that also paid for an intensive $440,000 lobbying campaign.

But wait - there's more!

Political groups paid two family members of House leader. Paid them shitloads.

The wife and daughter of corrupt uberslime Tom DeLay have been paid more than $500,000 since 2001 by Mr. DeLay's political action and campaign committees.

The payments to Mr. DeLay's family have continued into 2005; the latest monthly disclosure shows Mrs. Satan DeLay was paid was paid $4,028 last month, while their unholy spawn received $3,681.

In an interview, a spokesman for the contemptible slimebag explained Mrs. DeLay's role as "the final signoff of Tom's travel schedule, what events he attends and what his name appears on."

Later: did Karl Rove set him up?


*BuzzFlash headline. Oh please oh please oh please
***

Sinkers

Everytime Tony 'Piddles' Blair mentions Bush in a speech, his approval rating goes down.

The Boy King's approval rating has plunged to the lowest level of any president since World War II at this point in his second term, the Gallup Organization reported today.

Oh sure, Sean insHannity loves the Pope now, but he referred to him as a "wild-eyed liberal loon" before the war in Iraq.

***

Post-Schiavo questions await Congress's GOP leaders
"Hey, you braindead assholes! Wtf are you doing about gas prices?"

Voters are starting to feel that party leaders are increasingly out of step with mainstream America, as conservative Christian activists and corrupt sleazebag Tom DeLay's oversized piehole are becoming the new symbols of the republican party.

TIME

TOM DELAY

Scumbag of the Year

Insane Hypocritical Douchebag
and
Contemptible, Odious Thug

"This is a free country, and in free countries, governments get to decide their future."
- the Dictator-tot, still not getting it, 4/4/05.


Accountability
Here we go again. At least they haven't blamed Bill Clinton. Yet.

A probe into the Abu Ghraib prison scandal - by the Pentagon, for the love of criminey - "suggests a CIA role" in Iraqi detainee deaths.

Of course. Cue... broom, rug!

Where's Walnutbrain?
Actually, he's sleeping off yesterday's traumatic "joint press availability" with Ukrainian President Viktor Yushchenko.

"We're talking about a part of the world in which, you know, our foreign policy was, let's just hope for the best and tolerate the fact there's no free societies. And what ended up happening was, there was a -- tyrants have emerged, tyrants that threatened our security. And so not only was the action worth it, the action is worth it to make sure that democracy exists, and because democracies will yield peace, and that's what we want."

- Monkey McMoron, who took three (3) questions - one of them about the Pope - before calling it quits and going to lunch.


***

The culture of life
Bushistan The US ranks 4th in number of yearly death penalty executions. Damn activist judges.


***

Outrageous, irresponsible and unbecoming
"Things are very quickly spinning out of control."

Congressman John Conyers blogs up a political smackdown aimed directly at despicable flakes Tom "Scumbag" Delay and Texas Senator/terrorist-enabler John Cornyn.


***

Abortion- and death-loving homo atheist judges are ruining America!
Stop activist judges from undermining democracy, devastating families and assaulting Judeo-Christian morality!

Unspeakable shitheel Tom "I killed my dad" Delay to be the keynote speaker for the 'Confronting the Judicial War on Faith,' conference, 'The Judicial Assault On Our Judeo-Christian Heritage: Seeking solutions, as well as the beginning of a broad-based effort to save America from the judges."

Other wingnuts speakers include David Gibbs, attorney for Terri Schiavo's parents, Chief Justice/wackjob Roy Moore, total nutcase Alan "I don't have a lesbian daughter - I disowned her" Keyes, hateful bigot Phyllis Schlafly, and despicable turd Morton Blackwell.

{Activist judge: any judge who disagrees with the religious right.}


<-- See 'Get Your War On' link on left.
***

The All-Pope Channel
No offense, but jizzumy crickets. It's going to be a loooooooonnnnnnng week.

CNN coverage for April 4, 2005:

AMERICAN MORNING
• Pope John Paul II's Funeral to be Held Friday at 4:00 a.m.
• Visitors Flock to Rome to Mourn Pope John Paul II
• Day Two of Mourning Period for Pope John Paul II; Courage Under Fire
• Mourning Continues for Pope John Paul II
• Pope John Paul II's Funeral Set for 4:00 a.m. ET Friday
• Passing of Pope John Paul II; Preparation for Election of a New Pope

CNN LIVE AT DAYBREAK
• Pope John Paul II; 'Business Buzz'; Pope's Funeral Will Be Friday
• Upcoming Week at Vatican; Championship Hoops
• Attack on Abu Ghraib; Pope John Paul II
• Worshipers Mourn the Pope

CNN LIVE TODAY
• Pope John Paul II Moved to St. Peter's Basilica; Crowds Amass in Rome to Mourn Pope
• Rome Expects Nearly Two Million for Papal Funeral

JUDY WOODRUFF'S INSIDE POLITICS
• Millions Around the World Mourn Pope's Death and Celebrate His Life; Catholic Church Reflects on Past and Looks to Future

LIVE FROM...
• Crowds Continue to Pack St. Peter's Square
• Mourners Pay Respects to Pope; Book Collects Photos of Pope; Sergeant Who Died to Save Others to Receive Medal of Honor Posthumously
• Pope John Paul II Moved to Basilica for Public Viewing
• Public Flocks to St. Peter's to View Pope
• Thousands Pay Respects to Pope; American Catholics Welcome Change in Practices; Soldier Who Gave Life to Save Others Awarded Medal of Honor

NEWS FROM CNN
• Pope John Paul II Moved to St. Peter's Basilica


***