Guh!

"You know, I just recently came off a trip to the Far East. By the way, representing the United States of America around the world is one of the great experiences of the presidency. And it struck me that I was in a region of the world where there -- where wars had started."

- Preznit Stupid, November 28, 2005.

:: shudder :: Criminey...

Defender of Christmas Bill O'Reilly sells 'holiday ornaments' at the Fox News Store

"Put your holiday tree in "The No Spin Zone" with this silver glass "O'Reilly Factor" ornament. Metal cap and hoop for hanging. Made in the USA."

*****

Catapulting the propaganda

As part of an information offensive in Iraq, the US military is secretly paying Iraqi newspapers to publish stories written by American troops in an effort to burnish the image of the US mission in Iraq. The articles, written by US military "information operations" troops, are translated into Arabic and placed in Baghdad newspapers with the help of a defense contractor.

"The propagandists shoving their lies down the public's throat!"

Damn Bush and Cheney and the rest of the neocons! Oh, wait - it's just Bill O'Reilly, busy putting together his enemies list.


Didn't he say he'd stop supporting the Bush misadministration if no WMDs were found?
*****

IRS to focus on Focus on the Family
The Baby Jeebus loves watching Spongebob cartoons.

Heh - Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington has asked the Internal Revenue Service to investigate whether Focus on the Family or its crackpot founder James Dobson violated IRS rules by campaigning for repukes, and whether their tax-exempt status should be revoked.

The emperor's new restricted airspace
It's good to be the king. Attytood reports:

His top aide's been indicted, his nominal "boss" is barely speaking to him, and a former high-ranking government official just suggested he might be "a nefarious bastard." But Dick Cheney is still an important guy -- so important that airplanes cannot fly near his new future residence-in-exile....EVEN WHEN HE'S NOT THERE!

Airspace restrictions are an inconvenience for private pilots. If they stray into restricted space, they could have their pilot's license taken away, be escorted away by fighter jets or, in a worst-case scenario, be shot down.

What a #ucking ego. This is the busy, crowded airspace of Maryland we're talking about here, 30 miles from DC. But hey, at least he's not tying things up for a haircut!

Boy king in a bubble
Manly, straight-shootin' war preznint too chickenshit to face the "Merican people.

Almost everyone he appears before is either on the federal payroll or a Republican donor.

What does it say about the president of the United States that he won't go anywhere near ordinary citizens any more? And that he'll only speak to captive audiences?

And why are taxpayers funding presidential events to which the public is never welcome?

- the Froomster.

Stayin' the course
...of our noble cause, you troop-hatin' cuttin' an' runnin' terrist-lovers!

"Brace yourself for a mind-bog of sheer cynicism. The discombobulation begins Wednesday, when President Bush is expected to proclaim, in a major speech at the US Naval Academy, that the Iraqi security forces -- which only a few months ago were said to have just one battalion capable of fighting on its own -- have suddenly made uncanny progress in combat readiness. Expect soon after (if not during the speech itself) the thing that Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney have, just this month, denounced as near-treason -- a timetable for withdrawal of American troops."

- Fred Kaplan , in Slate.


"I think you misunderestimate their chances!"
****

Makin' progress
WTF? Did Bunnypants say "sodomists," or "Saddamists"??

Strategery: resolvitude.

Yeah, we're trainin' death squads Iraqi forces... makin' progress... Listen, the Iraqis wanna defend themselves. They wanna be capable of fightin' off an enemy. Like us. An' our job is to make sure they are capable. It's 'mportant. So even if they're now operatin' as militias, targetin' Sunnis - even carryin' out executions on behalf of their Shiite bosses and raisin' the possibility of all-out civil war, at least they'll be trainin.' So we're gonna stay th' course 'til they jus' kill each other all off...

Fun fact: "Human rights abuses in Iraq are now as bad as they were under Saddam Hussein and are even in danger of eclipsing his record."

Daschle: yeah, I was a pussy
WH: Yore either with us or against us, you terrist-loving commies!

Dems: :: quiver :: Don't hurt us!

Shameful. Just... shameful.

WaComPo reporters embarassed by Woodward
Disgraced former journalist's legacy

DAVID BRODER: Consternation, to be honest with you. I think none of us can really understand Bob's silence for two years about his own role in the case. He's explained it by saying he did not want to become involved and did not want to face a subpoena, but he left his editor, our editor, blindsided for two years and he went out and talked disparagingly about the significance of the investigation without disclosing his role in it. Those are hard things to reconcile.

TIM RUSSERT: Gene Robinson?

MR. ROBINSON: I agree with David. The guy's a bunghole.

Values
Politicizing criminals

100 people show up at rally for corrupt scumbag Tom DeLay.

"Gub! Dah duh duh! Blub!" explained one supporter.

Next: how to make Bill O'Reilly's Holiday Falafel Surprise
Heh - looks like Fox News didn't get the latest rethug talking points.

Democracy's on th' march
Remember that memo which documented Bush's plan to bomb al-Jazeera? Well, there are actually two of them.

Downing Street had a hissy fit, and the White House, according to Maguire, "went berserk", leading to threats of the Official Secrets Act against anybody who was even considering publishing the document.

Cheney called on being a total dick
The VP and others in the misadministration deliberately ignored evidence of bad intelligence and looked only at what supported their case for war.

Dick Cheney must have sincerely believed that Iraq could be a spawning ground for new terror assaults, because "otherwise I have to declare him a moron, an idiot or a nefarious bastard," says former Secretary of State Powell aide Lawrence Wilkerson.

Oh, and he's also a war criminal, the Duh! Institute reports.

The sheep are revolting!
Well, you're no bag of roses either, say sheep.

Spirits sag at White House. Bunnypants alternately oblivious and furious.


Not even nanotechnology can make a violin small enough to express my sadness.
*****

More from the morals 'n' values party
Another day, another Republican pleading guilty...

Bringing integrity ba Rethug Rep. Randy "Duke" Cunningham pleaded guilty Monday to conspiracy and tax charges, admitting taking $2.4 million in bribes in a case that grew from an investigation into the sale of his home to a wide-ranging conspiracy involving payments in cash, vacations and antiques.

Fitzmas karolling
Raise your hand if you've been cleared in the Valerie Plame scandal. Not so fast, Karl...

A second Time magazine reporter has agreed to cooperate in the CIA leak case and will testify about her discussions with Karl Rove's attorney, a sign that prosecutors are still exploring charges against the spongy, possibly treasonous White House aide.

White House lays foundation for cutting and running
With poll numbers in the crapper, the White House is now taking credit for terrist enabler and troop hater Joe Biden's Iraq withdrawal plan. "It's remarkably similar to our own!"
squeals WH spokestool Scott McClellan.

Dishonest and reprehensible
"One epithet away from a defibrillator."

The more the president and vice president tell us that their mistakes were merely innocent byproducts of the same bad intelligence seen by everyone else in the world, the more we learn that this was not so...

Neither man engaged the national debate ignited by John Murtha about how our troops might be best redeployed in a recalibrated battle against Islamic radicalism. Neither offered a plan for "victory." Instead, both impugned their critics' patriotism and retreated into the past to defend the origins of the war.

- a must-read by Frank Rich.

Court cornholer biographer's legacy
"I think the work speaks for itself."
And it's saying "I'm a greased-up kneepadded shill for the misadministration!"

Under Boob Woodward's unusual relationship with the WaComPo, he stays on the payroll while mainly writing books from his Georgetown home, with the paper carrying excerpts -- and providing a publicity boost -- upon publication. This has sparked some resentment among the staff.

And also among the public:

When [the ComPo's executive enabler] Downie hosted an online chat with readers recently, the questioners' tone was strikingly hostile.

"Do you think Woodward was covering up for the vice president?" one reader asked. "I used to regard Mr. Woodward as a hero," said another. "Mr. Woodward appeared to be more interested in protecting his book than reporting the news," said a third. "Bob Woodward blew it when he blew Bush," a fourth should have remarked.

Wakey-wakey. Blah.

Help!
Does anyone remember who recorded "Sleigh Ride," the non-instrumental with the whip noises?

And what's on your Christmas CD?

"There. I have done my patriotic duty. Because nothing says, "Hi! I'm a rich, overindulgent, 'mericun" like eating 10 tons of food and collapsing onto the couch into a snoring ball of fat. Thanksgiving rawks!" - Solonor.



Abramoff probe broader than thought
Honor an' integritude

Republican pet lobbyist Jack Abramoff's dealings with corrupt scumbags Tom DeLay and Rep. Bob Ney of Ohio are coming under increasing scrutiny.

The Justice Department's probe of Abramoff is broader than previously thought, examining his dealings with four lawmakers, former and current congressional aides and two former Bush administration officials, the Wall Street Journal reported on Friday.

Another incoming meme!!
Top 10 movies I hate
....or that I was majorly disappoined in. As seen at Eschaton.

Master and Commander - did I miss the last reel?
The Aviator - he was no C. Montgomery Burns.
Sideways - thanks, I WILL have that drink.
Shark Tale - eat me.
Mystic River - jebus...
Catch Me if You Can - run away!!
Pretty Woman - please kill me. Julia Roberts makes me want to puke.
Home Alone - they woulda gotten away with it, too, if it wasn't for that damn kid!
Saving Private Ryan - ugghh. I don't mind gore, but - ugghh.

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's officially Winter in Freedonia. All the leaves have blown off the trees, and we got our first snow last night. Unfortunately, it didn't snow enough to give me a good excuse for not going out today. Bah.

Oh, and eat it, turkeys!

Good riddance, douchebag!
The NY ComPost is reporting that incontinent traitor Bob Novak won't be coming back to CNN.

Pic by jimmyhaha.

The case for war
Dishonest and reprehensible: key WH intelligence briefing kept from Congress

Where are the Dems this morning? Are they all on vacation already?

{Cheney} shamelessly repeated the absurd notion that a bum-rushed Congress, most of which does not have high security clearance, was privy to the same intelligence as he and his war-salesmen allies. In fact, not only was Cheney and his staff poring over the classified testimonials of an array of known liars, forgers, drunks, opportunists and desperate exiles we now know supplied White House speechwriters with their best lines, he also had access to the intelligence community's combined disclaimers, rebuttals and outright denunciations of these sources and their conveniently tawdry tales.

Irresponsible…

Ten days after the September 11 attacks, President Bush was told in a highly classified briefing that the US intelligence community had no evidence linking the Iraqi regime of Saddam Hussein to the attacks and that there was scant credible evidence that Iraq had any significant collaborative ties with Al Qaeda.

Saddam viewed Al Qaeda as well as other theocratic radical Islamist organizations as a potential threat to his secular regime. At one point, analysts believed, Saddam considered infiltrating the ranks of Al Qaeda with Iraqi nationals or even Iraqi intelligence operatives to learn more about its inner workings, according to records and sources.

The highly classified CIA assessment was distributed to President Bush, Vice President Cheney, the national security adviser and deputy national security adviser, the secretaries and undersecretaries of State and Defense, and various other senior Bush administration policy makers. {… snip …}

Indeed, the existence of the September 21 PDB was not disclosed to the Intelligence Committee until the summer of 2004, according to congressional sources. Both Republicans and Democrats requested then that it be turned over. The administration has refused to provide it, even on a classified basis, and won't say anything more about it other than to acknowledge that it exists. - read the rest here.

Integrity.

WH adds CNN to list
Good gravy... Bush wanted to bomb Al-Jazeera for being "anti-American," but Tony Blair talked him out of it. Democracy's on the march!

Liberal media puts satanic curse on vice president!
Is drudge a #ucking idiot or what?

"At 11:04:45 AM Monday CNN was airing Dick Cheney's speech live from the American Enterprise Institute in Washington -- when a large black 'X' repeatedly flashed over the vice president's face! The 'X' over Cheney's face appeared each time less than a second, creating an odd subliminal effect."

Jeebus, you stupid hack, they were having problems with their video or whatever all day. You should've seen what they did to John Murtha around 5:15. He looked like he was transporting through a funhouse mirror.


drudge gets another non-story ready for the freetards.
*******

Cutting and running
Iraqi leaders hate our troops, embolden terrists

Shiite, Kurdish and Sunni leaders call for a timetable for the withdrawal of foreign troops, tell Dick to go Cheney himself.


"Ack! Zzzzzzzt!" :: splat ::
******

If wishes were horses…*
Yeah, and I want to win a brazillian dollars and retire to the South Pacific.


*You'd be crushed like a grape, asshat.
*****

Threat of federal charges against corrupt scumbag grows
Good: Yesterday, Michael Scanlon, a former aide to unethical sleazeball Tom DeLay and a partner of rethug pet lobbyist/travel agent Jack Abramoff, pleaded guilty to conspiracy and agreed to co-operate with investigators - 'opening up the likelihood of federal charges against members of Congress.'

Even better: the case against Scanlon is being led by the Department of Justice - which 'represents a serious threat to several lawmakers' and makes it damn hard for DeLay or other republicans to scream "political witchhunt."

Stenographer 'journalism'
Woodward picks the biggest softball tosser on TV to issue his bland denials and non-apologies.
- BuzzFlash.

Bob 'please don't subpoena me! I'm a pussy!' Woodward "admitted that, in essence, he helped to protect an administration."

Appearing on Larry King last night, the WaComPo's Bob "kneel" Woodward took time out from obstructing justice to 'vigorously defend' his conduct in the CIA leak case, while revealing that he still saw "no evidence so far" that there was a "vast conspiracy" to out Valerie Plame.

The former investigative reporter said he would “love to announce” the name of his source, but reminded Larry that he had kept his word to Deep Throat: “It means I can go around and rest on my 33-year-old laurels and be a complete and utterly useless dick for the rest of my life!"

Bush pardons turkey. Libby says he's ready to move on with his life, spend more time with his family.


Incurious George
Boy King barrels thru Asia in bubble

As he barnstormed through Japan, South Korea and China, with a final stop in Mongolia still to come, Bush visited no museums, tried no restaurants, bought no souvenirs and made no effort to meet ordinary local people....

A number of the most senior White House officials on the trip, perhaps seeking the comforts of their Texas homes, chose to skip the kimchi in South Korea to go to dinner at Outback Steakhouse -- twice.

Yeah, it's always cute to make a joke about kimchi. Idiot. Good Lord - skipping the fishheads is one thing, but passing up stuff like Mongolian beef, sushi, birdsnest soup… to go to Outback?? Jeebus.


"Duh!"
*****

Incoming meme!!
Rats. Tild tagged me to list five songs that I'm enjoying right now, but I haven't listened to anything for so long I wouldn't know where to start. The only things that play in my head these days are earworms, so I'm going with those. But first, here are the rules:

List five songs that you currently love. It doesn't matter what genre they are, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the songs in your blog. Then tag five other friends to see what they're listening to. Comment a bit on WHY the piece is on the list; otherwise, the list has no context - it just exists in a vacuum.

1. "Eli's Coming" by 3 Dog Night (I think). I started singing this to myself yesterday when the Giants game came on (Eli Manning? Their quarterback?), and that song ended up being the soundtrack to an end-of-the-world dream I had last night that starred Hugh Laurie and, unfortunately, Bill O'Reilly. I've already said too much.

1.5. Was anyone else singing "Jeremiah was a Trotter…" during that game?

2. "In the Merry Old Land of Oz" or whatever it's called, from The Wizard of Oz with Judy Garland. The Oz songs figure prominently in my working-day mental soundtrack, the other popular one being

3. "If I Only Had a Brain," which is permanently dedicated to my idiot boss.

4. The theme from "Star Wars." I finally got around to watching Darth Vader Gets Laid this weekend. Actually, the original movie (Episode IV) helped me find religion again, and I have since been studying to become a Jedi, though my midichlorians seem to be pretty #ucking retarded, so it may take a while.

5. "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," sung by Jack Jones or Perry Como or whoever. It's so damn cheerful, and it takes me back to when we were little kids, ice-skating on the lake at night with the snow falling… good times. Does lake ice freeze anymore?

Alternate lyrics: 'it's the most wonderful time - to drink beer!'

Avedon Carol, Ginger, Stranger, James, and Scott 'n' Ellen, you're next!

Bringing integrity back to Washington
Because there's no such thing as looking too reprehensible!

VP Dick 'Chicanery' Cheney is scheduled to appear at a Dec. 5 Houston fundraiser for corrupt scumbag Tom DeLay.


"I said I wanted those kittens well done!"
***

Bush officially off the wagon
"There must be a brazillian Mongoloids here!"

Bunnypants drinks fermented mare's milk, compares Mongolia to Texas.

Must... resist... urge... to post... 'village idiot' jokes...