October 31, 2006

Kerry kicks 101st Fighting Keyboardists' asses

"If anyone thinks a veteran would criticize the more than 140,000 heroes serving in Iraq," states John Kerry, "and not the president who got us stuck there, they're crazy.

"I’m sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks that always seem to come from those who never can be found to serve in war, but love to attack those who did," the statement continues.

"I'm not going to be lectured by a stuffed suit White House mouthpiece standing behind a podium, or doughy Rush Limbaugh, who no doubt today will take a break from belittling Michael J. Fox's Parkinson's disease to start lying about me just as they have lied about Iraq," rails Kerry, in the statement. "It disgusts me that these Republican hacks, who have never worn the uniform of our country lie and distort so blatantly and carelessly about those who have."

Kerry asserts that it is the President and Vice President Cheney who owe troops an apology for misleading the country into war, saying they have "widened the terrorist threat instead of defeating it."
The link above includes the video.

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Fabulous new ad: "Ken Mehlman. He's just not straight with Americans."

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Democratic Rep. Loretta Sanchez, a critic of the no-fly list, finds herself on the no-fly list.

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Macacawitz sics goons on protester
You're Senator/idiot George Allen at a campaign event when a protester comes up to you and asks "Why did you spit on your first wife?"

Do you

a) Ignore him;
b) Tell him Jesus loves him even if everyone else in the room thinks he's an asshole; or
c) Have your jackbooted staffers assault him and slam him into a window?

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Debate shakes Crist from sound bites
Democratic and Reform Party nominees take potshots at hapless republican candidate Charlie Crist, who was called an “empty suit,” a "Marion Barry," and “a rubber stamp for the Republican Party.”

[T]here was a downright weird exchange when Crist explained his opposition to gay marriage. Marriage, he said, is a “sacred” relationship - “like I had, before I got divorced.”
LOL. What a putz.

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Doing the people's business
GW "uniter" Bush, White House vow no compromise in "cataclysmic fight to the death" against al Qaeda. What? Oh, sorry: against a Democratic Congress.

Just impeach the fuckers.

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Cheney links rise in Iraq violence to US election
Of course he does. Because if you vote Democrat, the terrists win.

[The fearmongering nutbag, not having anything else to stand on,] said on Monday insurgents had stepped up attacks in Iraq to try to sway next week's US elections

"Whether it's al Qaeda or the other elements that are active in Iraq, they are betting on the proposition they can break the will of the American people," Dick Cheney told Fox News. "They're very sensitive to the fact that we've got an election scheduled."

Cheney said America's enemies in Iraq possessed the Internet savvy to monitor U.S. developments, helping them to time attacks aimed in part at influencing the elections. But he cited no evidence to back the theory.
Of course he didn't.

Fun fact: its the RNC that are running ads starring Osama bin Laden, not the Dems.

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Changin' the course!
As we "win support" and build "bonds of friendship," the Iraq PM - makin' the tough decisions - orders the US to 'ease its grip' on the militant stronghold of Sadr City.

Benchmarkin': The US must stay until Iraq forces are ready to stand up, says Iraqi leader.

Makin' progr... Soldiers estimate "it would take 30 to 40 years before the Iraqi police can function properly." Or when they stop killing our soldiers.

Greeted as liberators, the October US death toll in Iraq hits 103. Ummmm, make that 105.

Constantly changin' tactics, the Pentagon has no new strategy option available after the latest failure to secure Baghdad.

Democracy's on the march as violence and corruption slow Iraqi reconstruction, sez federal watchdog agency.

Winning hearts and minds - Iraqis to US: get out.

Bonus: Preznit Dumbass "stayin' the course... no, wait!" McStupidson accuses Democrats of lacking a plan for Iraq. No, really.

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With the GOP facing annihilation and possible impeachment after the midterm elections, it's a bit strange that huge trucks from the Mid-Atlantic Shredding Services pulled up to the Cheney bunker not too long ago...

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Developing: Videotapes from cameras in the parking garage where GOP Congressman Jim "ape-man" Gibbons is alleged to have tried to sexually assault a waitress are now in the hands of Las Vegas police. The district attorney said Monday that authorities have reopened their investigation.

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Large douchebag pwn3d
LOL. Beer me. Crooks and Liars reports:

In a twist that left Sean Hannity almost speechless on [Hannity and Corpse] Friday night, FOX News military analyst Col. David Hunt said that he preferred Jim Webb over George Allen in the Virgina race because he's a battle-tested military man and Allen is just a football player. Sean was left pouting by Hunt's endorsement.
Heh! Hannity sucks ass.

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Poll: Stumping, lying not boosting Bush popularity
CNN goes oh-so-fairnbalanced in their story, but what it boils down to is this: Smirky McLiar's approval rating is sinking faster than Rush Limbaugh's chances of winning a humanitarian award.

Terra McJebus's popularity has not been helped by his recent shrill, fearmongering photo-ops, according to a new CNN poll. In fact, the lying numbnut's rating even dropped from the poll taken a week earlier, from 39 percent to 37.

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Stealing the election
Glitches cited in early voting

"Glitches"?? People voting Democratic have had their votes registered for the republican candidate.

Debra Reed voted with her boss on Wednesday near Fort Lauderdale. Her vote went smoothly, but boss Gary Rudolf called her over to look at what was happening on his machine. He touched the screen for gubernatorial candidate Jim Davis, a Democrat, but the review screen repeatedly registered the Republican, Charlie Crist.

Mauricio Raponi wanted to vote for Democrats across the board at the Lemon City Library in Miami on Thursday. But each time he hit the button next to the candidate, the Republican choice showed up.

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OMG, I so totally need a kitten break after that

Happy Howl-oween, y'all!

(30 seconds after this picture was taken, Cuya bit Paul Burgess on the ass.)

Asshat of the week

You know, there's stiff competition out there for this title, and it's still only Tuesday, but I have to hand it to Paul Burgess--if there is a bigger asshat out there come Friday, my attention will have been well-earned. Burgess is a former speechwriter for the current Misadministration, and the tone of his editorial is absolutely that of a playground bully, whose face has finally been rubbed in the dirt by someone more agile, smarter, and sick to death of his petty tyranny.

Awwwwh, Paul, I am so NOT sorry that the little party is being spoiled by truthtelling. I also honor our war dead, but I don't believe the way to do that is by the rankest sort of effort justification. And--apropos your tired suggestion that the intelligence community was somehow at fault in providing erroneous information about WMD in Iraq--well, that is so 2003. Maybe you should read this article by Seymour Hersh, explaining in excruciating detail how the Misadministration got rid of the trained intelligence officers who had previously vetted raw intelligence in favor of "stovepiping" all that juicy stuff directly to the White House, where "experts" like Cheney and Rumsfeld could paw over it and cherrypick it. Then whimper some more about how misunderstood Il Ducebag is. You whiny little fuck. You willfully blind Kool-Aid swilling sycophant. Our government is this close to using terror against its own citizens, and the only outrage you can dredge up is against Cindy Sheehan? Let me tell you, Paul, on The Night of the Long Knives, the Rethugs will pretend not to know your name and throw you back out into the street where the brownshirts are roaming, while Cindy and I and all the people you vilify are the ones who will let you hide in the basement.

Now, once and for all: there is a huge difference between righteous anger and hatred. Righteous anger is what people feel when they see their country's reputation and honor dragged through the dirt by warmongers, profiteers, and incompetents, when they see its dearest principles trashed as though they were just "a goddamn piece of paper."

Hatred? I don't actually sense that in you, Paul, even though the word seems to make you feel powerful, to make you feel good. What I sense instead is sheer fear--as evil fears the light that's about to break upon it.


(story via Talking Points Memo)

Happy Halloween!

October 30, 2006

High moral standards
The National Republican party has repeatedly accepted donations from one of the top gay porn producers in the country - the so-called "gay porn king," responsible for such films such as "Fire in the Hole" and "Flesh and Boners."
:: giggle ::

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Meanwhile, on Planet Stupid...
Perennial gpuke ballsniffer Neal "kneel" Boortz seems to be losing oxygen in his widdle cumstained space-suit.

"The Democrats have begun their campaign to frighten voters before the fall elections. It's nothing but a replay of past elections, the only difference being that they seem to be starting the scare tactics a bit early this year."
Yeah, those awful, awful Democrats - how dare they try to scare voters?

Fun fact: "If we leave [Iraq], they will follow us here." - Retard McJesus, 10/26/06.

9/11! Terra! Smoking mushroom cloud! Osama = demoncraps! 9/11! Demoncrats = terrists! Demonrats = homos! 9/11! OsamaNancy Pelosi! 9/11! 9/11! 9/11!

Suck it, you stupid fucking asshat.

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Ken, you lame-ass hypocritical slut...
CBS's Bob Schieffer yesterday called out RNC headcheese Ken 'values' Mehlman on just who the fuck they think they're kidding with their excuses for the "where de white wimmen at?" Harold Ford commercial they've been running:

SCHIEFFER: But you paid for it.

MEHLMAN: I've talked to Senator McCain and to Senator McConnell, both of whom have been on different sides of the campaign reform issue. Both agree that a law which says the Republican National Committee pays for the ad, but it's also illegal for the Chairman of the RNC, for the political director of the RNC, or the communications director of the RNC...

SCHIEFFER: But, but Mr. Mehlman, the logic... if I think something is wrong but I take advantage of a law that allows me to take advantage of that, that's pretty lame, if I may say so.

MEHLMAN: My response to that ad is the same response Mr. Ford had from a race perspective. I would not have put the ad up. I did not think that it was necessarily a racist ad, at the same time...

SCHIEFFER: But you approved of it.

MEHLMAN: I did not approve of it.

SCHIEFFER: You said you thought it was "fair." You're on the record saying that.

MEHLMAN: Well I thought some of the issues raised in that ad, the issue of taxes, I think those are fair issues, on the other hand I personally would not have put that ad up.

SCHIEFFER: But what does that say -- you talk about "values" and stuff -- that you're taking advantage of an ad when you know what it says is wrong and you admit that it ought not to be that way but you're willing to take advantage of it. Nice going, dickhead.

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Post-script: Gah! This was blogged by dg yesterday! Sorry about that!

The Halloweenies Edition of DU's Top 10 Conservative Idiots.

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"Wolf, why do you hate America?"
“Don't you want us to win?”

CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, longtime Bush rump-swab, gets off his knees and calls out shrill, hypocritical man-in-a-dress harpy Lynne Cheney for ‘sniping at my patriotism,’ wearing that awful outfit.

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Karma, like GOP candidate, is a bitch
After threatening to slap a wheelchair-bound man suffering from MS, repulsive Wyoming congresswoman loses lead.

The Democratic candidate for the only House seat in the reddest of states - Dick "dick" Cheney's Wyoming - is drawing even with GOP Rep. Barbara "classless douchebag" Cubin after she threatened to slap wheelchair-bound third-party candidate Thomas Rankin.
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Here we go...
White House probes voting machines for Chavez ties, ignores those with ties to conservatives.

The US government has launched an investigation of a leading American manufacturer of electronic voting machines following allegations of its ties to the government of leftist Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.
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Bush "upbeat," still lying about Iraq
Catapulting the propaganda:

While he was discussing the situation in Iraq and explaining the reasons the United States launched a pre-emptive strike against the country, Bush told journalists that "I believe when you get attacked and somebody declares war on you, you fight back. And that's what we're doing."
OK, touchhole, let's review:
a) Saddam did not attack us
b) Iraq had no wmds
c) Iraq did not declare war on us
d) Saddam invited us into his country prior to the war to prove he had no wmds
e) It was mostly Saudis who were responsible for the 9/11 attacks
f) You're a pathetic, lying moron with no decency or scruples.
g) Fuck you, you lying git.

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Constantly changin' tactics to achieve strategery
As we "win support" and build "bonds of friendship," the US military death toll in Iraq for October climbs to 100. Make that 101.

With the insurgency in its last throes, blasts kill at least 35 people and wound scores in Baghdad in one of bloodiest days in the capital in weeks.

A few dead-enders kill 80 in Iraq, 33 in Sadr City bombings.

As Iraqis stand up, they're ... ummmm ... falling over. Dead. 17 policemen were kidnapped and killed in Basra Sunday night. Bonus: Britain will be evacuating some of its staff from the consulate there due to increased attacks by insurgents.

Makin' progr... Violence surges in Iraq.

Democracy's on the march: Bush's "free Iraq" is a living horror film - tortured prisoners huddled in dungeons, murder victims mutilated with knives and electric drills, and distraught families searching for relations who have been "disappeared."

Adjustin' tactics, fourteen thousand weapons the United States has provided to Iraqi security forces cannot be accounted for, a new report to Congress says.

Double bonus: House Majority Leader and clueless partisan douchenozzle John "Boner" Boehner (R-Duh) says “Rumsfeld is the best thing that’s happened to the Pentagon in 25 years."
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And the award for least convincing Halloween costume goes to. . .

Turns out that a phony "progressive" group that sent out mailings in Pennsylvania targeting Democratic candidate for Senate Bob Casey was chartered by former counsel for the Bush-Cheney campaign in 2004. I am shocked, I tell you, shocked! Mainly by how fucking stupid some astroturfers are.

(story via TPMmuckraker)


Hey, Blogger!

October 29, 2006

"How ’bout YOU back off, beehortch? You work for ME."

More fun than a summer in the National Guard: Lex fisks the hell out of Rumsfeld's press conference the other day. (You don't like the word "bee-hortch," do you, Lex? *gigglesnort*)


"Boo who?" "Boo you."
(pic via Earthhope Action Network)

Zen moment before the mud flies again


(Pic from stuffonmycat.com)

Still here. . .

Apologies to all, especially Maru, who as usual has been doing all the work around here. Lameitude, a rotten cold, and stupid homeowning issues have kept me from my desk. But no way will I miss this last week before the election! Anyway, here's a list of things I saw out of the corner of my eye while mopping up the laundry room flood and listening to every drain in my house go bloop bloop bloop:

Rethug family values: it's bad, b-a-a-a-d, for Democratic candidates to take porn money. But gay porn money is fine and dandy for Rethug candidates. Hypocritical asshattery or asshattish hypocrisy--take your pick!

Freedom-hatin'--it's not just for Islamist tools: Pretzelnit McFascist signed a revised Insurrection Act that gives him the power to declare public emergencies within the United States' borders and deploy National Guard troops within our borders. Think he's scared of what might happen if the Rethugs try to steal this election?

"Everything Rush Limbaugh says means the same thing": Lance Mannion pwns the living shit out of Limpballs and his listeners. (Thanks to Lex for the link.)

The Kool-Aid continues to wear off: Bob Schieffer to Mehlman--you're lame. (via AMERICAblog)


"No, Kitty, don't look!" "Aaaaaah, too late!"

Sincere pumpkin patch, corner of Jackson and Ninth, Oxford, Mississippi.

October 28, 2006

Oops! Time to go to a commercial break!

TV screen grab from here.

3 GOP mayors asked to quit for 'not marching in lockstep' with the party

GOP leaders from Arizona Legislative District 4 on Friday called for the resignations of three West Valley mayors, all registered Republicans, because of their endorsement of Gov. Janet Napolitano, a Democrat.

District 4 party leaders said they followed orders from Arizona Republican Party Chairman Matt Salmon in demanding the resignation of any GOP elected official who endorsed a candidate from another party.

"We're letting the public know that if you are a Republican, you should stand by your party or remain silent," said Lyle Tuttle, chairman of the Republican Party of District 4.

"This reminds me of Reverend Jim Jones saying, 'Stand in line and drink the Kool-Aid,'" Mayor Elaine Scruggs of Glendale said.

Hypocritical harpy Lynne Cheney: I never wrote about lesbians!

Oh really? Some reviews:

Murder, rape, extramarital affairs and loveless marriages, lynching...

A stunning tale of a lonely young housewife's struggle with the temptations of unnatural love.

Hot and steamy frontier lesbian lovin'!

No one today writes Lesbian fiction quite like Lynne Cheney!

Customers tagged this product with:
Bad bad bad porn
Lesbian porn

High moral standards
TPM Cafe is reporting that there will be three more indictments of republicans involved in the Abramoff scandal - but that they are being held back until after the elections:

Rumors flying out of the US Justice Department say that three new indictments in the Jack Abramoff bribery scandal are now prepared ­but are being held back until after Election Day.

The few remaining Democratic attorneys in the Bush Justice Department have been grumbling about the obvious political agenda behind this delay. More Members of Congress falling to the Abramoff investigation is hardly the October Surprise that Karl Rove has been looking for.

The two about to face the music are Senator Conrad Burns of Montana and Congressman John Doolittle of California according to sources inside Justice.

They are all in tough races ­ and the Republicans clearly know that election-eve indictments would seal the fates of all three.

Reader Meryll shows some compassion to the beleaguered repooplicans.

"We've never been 'stay the course'" may go down as one of the most ridiculous -- and ridiculed -- utterances of the Bush presidency, says the Froomster:

Less than a week later, there are 96 and counting entries on YouTube making a lie of his assertion, trumpeting videotaped examples of Bush using that particular phrase to describe his Iraq strategy -- over and over again.

October 27, 2006

Friday cat blogging

SpiceGirl has the right idea...

He wasn't talking about torture! He was talking about shampooing!
White House on the defensive after Dick 'dick' Cheney comments that waterboarding is a "no-brainer."

"I'll fucking shampoo their brains out!"

Arrrr! So - what's going on today, mateys?

What liberal media?
NBC is refusing to air an ad for the new Dixie Chicks documentary Shut Up & Sing because it's "disparaging to President Bush."

Ads falsely claiming Dem candidates are charging taxpayers for phone sex; are mafiosi; or, if they're black, are screwing your white women are still ok, though.