February 27, 2007

Cheney OK after explosion in Afghanistan
Who cares about everyone else.

"Homicide bomber" responsible, as opposed to the happy fun time balloon and daffodil bomber much loved by Afghan tots.

Cheney heard 'loud boom' - "I thought it was my Aorta-matic 9000®."

The US vice president, hiding in a bomb shelter, was spared, though scores of the "little people" were killed or wounded in a suicide bomber attack outside the US military base in Afghanistan. The Taliban claimed responsibility and said Cheney, possibly the most hated man in the world, was the target.

The US Embassy said the vice president later met with President Hamid Karzai in Kabul to demand the bloody heads of all firstborn children in retaliation for the heinous attack.

Bonus: "Officials say Cheney was never in danger as bomb residue analysis shows no traces of garlic, silver, or holy water." - headline on teh intarwebs.

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