WTF Is It Now?!?

THE CONVERSATION THAT SHOULD BE TAKING PLACE AT THE WHITE HOUSE TODAY BUT PROBABLY WON'T.

Committee chairman (Waxman, Leahy, whoEVER as long as its a bulldog with an oversight mentality): Good morning, Mr. President.

President Bush: 'Mornin'.

CC:: I'd like to start off by saying that I have the greatest respect for the office of the presidency.

PB:: Thank you.

CC:: But that's the office of the presidency. It isn't you personally, you war-crime-committin', justice-obstructin', rich-feedin', poor-screwin', profiteerin' little SHIT.

PB: (Standing as if to fight): You'd better watch your language --

CC:: Sit down and shut up. I am beyond sick and tired of papering over CRIMES with calls for civility. That shit is over. Now, then, to our request. Let me explain this in terms even you can understand: You have nothing in your hand, pardner. NOTHING. YOU are not the Deciderer. You don't get to decide who comes to testify; my committee does, and we've already got quite the list.

You don't get a vote.

You don't get to decide whether the testimony is public or private; I can tell you right fucking now it will be in the open and if C-SPAN isn't there they're really going to be missing a trick.

You don't get to decide whether the testimony will be under oath or not; IT. WILL. BE.

And one other thing: If I have the slightest problem getting the documents or people that my committee has decided we need, we're going to shove so many subpoenas up your ass that your nose will look like a Kleenex dispenser. And if your people don't respond, they can expect deputy U.S. marshals with GUNS to come and drag them in. (Looks to other committee members.) We're done here. (Turns to leave.) Oh, one last thing: If you had half the respect for the office of the presidency that I do, you'd have resigned a long time ago. (Exeunt.)

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A friend of mine sent this to me--hope y'all enjoyed it!

--divageek