WTF Is It Now?!?

"Incompetent, atrocious and deplorable"
Gonzo does a heckuva job uniting both parties --

Alberto Gonzales came to Capitol Hill with only one mission: not to look like a complete asstool. He failed.

Instead of contrition, the attorney general treated the committee to a mixture of arrogance, combativeness, amnesia and shadow-puppetry. Even his would-be defenders on the Republican side were appalled. For the first time, Republicans broke ranks and said it might be best if Gonzales stepped down before he performed his Parisian mime "trapped in a box" routine.

Explaining his role in the botched firing of federal prosecutors, Gonzales uttered the phrase "I don't recall" and its variants ("I have no recollection," "I have no memory," "It wasn't me!!") 64 times. Along the way, his answer became so routine that a Marine in the crowd put down his poster protesting the Iraq war and replaced it with a running "I don't recall" tally.

Chairman Patrick Leahy did little to quiet the demonstrators and their occasional shouts of "Resign!", "Sweet chocolate Jesus, you shithead!" and "Stop lying!" In Leahy's defense, the protesters' sentiments were hard to distinguish from the Republican senators'.

Sen. Lindsey Graham, paraphrasing Gonzales's explanation that the fired prosecutors weren't "the right people at the right time," asked: "If I applied that standard to you, what would you say?" The Code Pinkers erupted in laughter.

At the end, protesters treated the nation's top law enforcement official to a version of "Na Na Hey Hey (Kiss Him Goodbye)."

In other news, Dougie Feith will now have to share his Stupidest fucking guy on the planet rep with Alberto Gonzales and Paul Wolfowitz.