al Qaeda Attack on Mall!!

The hard, long slog known as the War On Christmas™ surges on.

A man opened fire with a rifle at a busy department store Wednesday, killing eight people before taking his own life, in an attack that made holiday shoppers run screaming through a mall and barricade themselves in dressing rooms. Five more people were wounded, two critically.

It has been determined that this was NOT a terrorist attack due to the inconvenient fact that the gunman is white. And it happened JUST in time to get the "liberal media" distracted from Bush's lies about Iran's nookuleer weapons! And of course, the "liberal media" reminds us to continue shitting ourselves as we cower under our beds because even though it wasn't a terrorist attack, it easily could have been.

"Malls of course are always going to be a 'soft target,' but keep in mind they're particularly busy around the holiday season," retired agent Brad Garrett says. "So for someone to go into a mall and commit the acts that this individual has committed (in Omaha), it creates a mindset in the public, 'Are malls really safe to go to?'"
The answer to that question, for ABC, appears to be, "No." Thomas reminds viewers of last month's Department of Homeland Security warning that terrorists affiliated with al Qaeda were suspected to be plotting mall-based attacks.

Not to get all tin-foil hatty or anything, but this sentence was oddly included in the article:

President Bush was in Omaha on Wednesday for a fundraiser, but left about an hour before the shooting.

Note to the anally retentive Reich Wing: Parody...a dark joke, just kidding, I think. Oh, and in the words of your leader, Darth Cheney, go fuck yourselves.