July 8, 2008

McCain suck-up watch

Fineman: 'I've borrowed some of Kurtz's and Sidotti's anal butter... let's see if anyone notices.'

Well, he's not groaning as loudly as he did when he was reporting on the Codpieced Crackhead, but that could just be because most of McCain's wanger was shot off in 'Nam or something.

The well-lubed wHoward Fineman on Saint McNutjob's economic speech: why the manly war-hero "is suddenly focused, sharp, and even a little punchy on the campaign trail" --

"I just witnessed Sen. John McCain re-re-re-launch his presidential campaign.

"And he did it right here in Denver’s town hall. With his purple-helmeted lil soldier busily entrenching into my lower intestinal tract.

[snip]

"So now, after all the snarky press attention paid to his gaffes and Popeye-like lack of eloquence, a real conversation over America’s future can begin.

"In clear, arrow-like sentences, the Arizona legislator portrayed himself as a captain steering a ship in heavy weather with a firm hand. Arrrrrrr, a firm yet gentle hand, slowly massaging the back of my neck as he loosened the drawstring of his well-cut pirate breeches and... oh, sorry... gee, what a mess..."
What a fucking embarrassment. To both professions. You'd think after eight disastrous years of "gaffes and Popeye-like lack of eloquence" he would've learned a thing or three, but no. Fucking twat. Good grief.


"Snarky."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I read that over at msnbc.com and about puked.