August 28, 2008

Anal leakage may lead to McCain’s departure

Snort!   Angry, senile old coot may have much bigger problems...

Sources close to the McCain campaign reported late Friday afternoon that McCain’s days on the campaign trail may be limited due to medical conditions. Doctors are calling the cause an acute case of “anal leakage.”

“Senator McCain has been wrestling with this condition on and off for a little over 4 years now,” said the McCain campaign physician Dr. Earl Phillips. “He usually functions well throughout the winter months, with spring being his trouble season. It’s really quite surprising to see him struggle this much in February,” said Phillips.

Judith Brown, a volunteer on the McCain campaign, said that the Senator’s condition has gotten to the point to where speech writers are forced to keep his public addresses to less than 12 minutes.

“He just can’t hold up out there any longer than 12 to 15 [minutes],” Judith told reporters. “We’re to the point where we’re ready to try anything.”

LOL

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you fucking kidding me?

Anonymous said...

I'd feel sorry for him, but all I can say is that he's not qualified for this job, mentally or physically.

Richard Hershey said...

You're shitting me, aren't you? Anal leakage, huh? Maybe the ol' WWII hero ought to park the bus and enjoy a little quiet time in the houses and condos with his wife Candy and the rest of the domestic help. And he better give a nice Christmas bonus to his, uh, personal hygiene attendant. Why the fuck is this chump running for the Preznitzy???

willis said...

Can't figure how ther would be any leakage with Leiberman's head buried there.

gallery said...

"My friends, these white castles are truly delicious"

I'm John McCain, and I approved this......aw shit.

Laslo Pferg said...

This has been out there since February and only comes up NOW? Oh, wait, I see, it's Stategery.

wangmo said...

O gawdess, I luv this site. Thanks, Maru.

I agree with you, Willis.

And HA HA, gallery, very phunny! I can see a comedy video going up on YouTube labled "outtakes of McCain commercials" showing him addressing the camera reading his lines, then shocking horrid breach of decorum of the scene by a thundering rattling juicy fart sound...and then a disruptive "ah, shit," Pol drops presidential nominee character and trow as

Director yells OS: "Cut! Heads up,Depends wranglers and wipe-up P.A.s, on the run! Ready take elebenty-twelve!"

Awwwwoooo, jeebus, where's the Febreez????

Overheard snark on the set:

"He must rock in the sack."

Anonymous said...

Is this a joke...from the Onion, or something?

maru said...

I'm pretty sure its a joke, but who knows with Senile McCrankypants!

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