Snort! Angry, senile old coot may have much bigger problems...
Sources close to the McCain campaign reported late Friday afternoon that McCain’s days on the campaign trail may be limited due to medical conditions. Doctors are calling the cause an acute case of “anal leakage.”
“Senator McCain has been wrestling with this condition on and off for a little over 4 years now,” said the McCain campaign physician Dr. Earl Phillips. “He usually functions well throughout the winter months, with spring being his trouble season. It’s really quite surprising to see him struggle this much in February,” said Phillips.
Judith Brown, a volunteer on the McCain campaign, said that the Senator’s condition has gotten to the point to where speech writers are forced to keep his public addresses to less than 12 minutes.
“He just can’t hold up out there any longer than 12 to 15 [minutes],” Judith told reporters. “We’re to the point where we’re ready to try anything.”