August 6, 2008

Mr. Straight Talk turns into Mr. Desperate Straits

The perennially menopausal Maureen Dowd explains Saint Senile McGrumpersons' descent into assholery: he's a jealous, infantile old coot --

John McCain is pea-green with envy. That’s the only explanation for why a man who prides himself on honor, a man who vowed not to take the low road in the campaign, having been mugged by [Preznit Stupid] and Rove in South Carolina in 2000, is engaging in a festival of juvenilia.

The Arizona senator who built his reputation on being a brave proponent of big solutions is running a schoolyard campaign about tire gauges and Paris Hilton, childishly accusing his opponent of being too serious, too popular and not patriotic enough.

Some of McCain’s old pals in the Senate are cringing at what they see as his soulless transformation into what he once scorned.
“John’s eaten up with envy,” said one. “His image of himself was always the handsome, celebrity flyboy. Now somebody else is the celebrity,” the colleague continued, while John looks in the mirror and sees his face marred by skin cancer and looks at the TV and sees his dashing self-image replaced by visions of William Frawley, with Letterman jokes about his membership in the ham radio club and adventures with wagon trains.

Awesome. William Frawley, if I'm not mistaken, played Lucy and Ricky's crotchety gross old stogie-drooling landlord Fred Mertz, who always wore his pants belted somewhere around his armpits. I get the skeeves just thinking about it.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah, and don't forget Frawley was creepy unca 'Bub' on _My Three Sons_.

Frawley. Yeah, perfect McCain image. Now I suppose I'll have to burn my brain....

Anonymous said...

Until succumbing to the drinking problem that dogged him all his life.

Supposed to have been a "mean drunk" by the way, i.e. Irish, hee hee, who died friendless and alone, in a world he never made.

My Three Sons was forced to resort to William Demarest, the only man in Hollywood crankier than Willaim Frawley, as replacement for nursemaid to the mysteriously motherless boys.

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