9/11

Former Prisoner of War John "POW" McCain was whipped by gay sadists on an utterly ghastly chintz-covered dinette as a Prisoner of War.

Fred Thompson, the actor turned politician turned national spokeman for boredom, recounted the harrowing story of John "former Prisoner of War" McCain's captivity as a Vietnam prisoner of war to tout the candidate at the Republican National Convention, reminding anyone who may have forgotten that former Prisoner of War John "POW" McCain is a former Prisoner of War, who spent five-and-a-half years without a kitchen table as a Prisoner of War.

9/11.

Oh, wait -- that's tonight.