Op-ed columnist/gpuke spooge machine: What the Palin pick says

Wait a sec... be right with you... ahh! Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhh!! OK, I'm done. Whew. It says bold. Boldness. The bold, mavericklike pick of an unknown PTA member from North Moosefuck, Snopack, marks bold maverick Saint McMaverick as bold, mavericky -- and more than fit to wear Preznit Disas... uhhh, the CommanderGuy's large, manly codpiece. Ahhhhhhhh!

-- Conservatard columnist David "mmmrrfff!" Brooks, who confuses rethug talking points with his romance novels and Batman comics again:

The Sarah Palin pick allows John McCain to run the way he wants to — not as the old goat running against the upstart, but as the crusader for virtue against the forces of selfishness.

Huh? Wtf? Do these guys actually believe the crap they write? How can they not be embarrassed??

Fuck. Here's what the Palin pick really says: that that manly hunk of bold mavericknitude cravenly capitulated to the wishes of the rethug base, like Rush Limpbag at an all-you-can-eat buffet:

Up until midweek last week, some 48 to 72 hours before McCain introduced Ms. Palin at a rally in Ohio, McCain was still holding out the hope that he could choose his good friend [insufferable quisling and longtime repuke rump-swab Joe "mmmrrrghhhh!"] Lieberman, a republican close to the campaign said. McCain had also been interested in another favorite, former Gov. Tom Ridge of Pennsylvania.

But both men favor abortion rights, anathema to the Christian conservatives who make up a crucial base of the[Troglodyte] Party. As word leaked out that McCain was seriously considering the men, the campaign was bombarded by outrage from influential conservatives who predicted an explosive floor fight at the convention and vowed rejection of Ridge or Lieberman by the delegates.