March 31, 2008

Dating Tips from Wingnut Bloggers.

Note: please don't read on a full stomach... Well, unless you just ate some poison or something, i guess.


Have you dated liberals before? If so, any difference you can tell between liberal and conservative guys?

I tend not to date liberals, for a reason. Politics is so important to what I do and I follow it so much. I can't respect a guy who's liberal all that much because it makes me question his intelligence. So, that's a big minus because I'm thinking how smart can this guy be if he thinks John Kerry is a great politician? (Laughs) If he thinks Barack Obama would be a great President, I think, gee, how bright could this guy be?

Women just go into it too much hating men, like they're the enemy. They're not. They're thinking, oh this guy is just looking to get laid or...I think that women hating men is much more common than the men hating women.

Yes, totally... we hear so many man-rape stories, don't we? And we all know that domestic abuse is a chiefly male problem.

Have you dated liberals before. If so, any difference you can tell between liberal and conservative guys?

Some of the guys I have dated started out liberal, but they didn't stay that way.

You convert them, huh?

Yeah, pretty much. It's a slow process, but not impossible and I've done it.

Listen, honey, just because he'll put up with your Bush-is-Awesome rants for some good pussy, doesn't mean you've converted anyone. Believe me, I know from experience.

Have you dated liberals before? If so, any difference you can tell between liberal and conservative guys?

Absolutely. It's kind of like night and day. I have always had a policy of not dating liberals, but once, after a bad break-up, I dated a couple of liberal guys...

First of all, they don't have the same values and I find that to be a fundamental problem. I know a lot of people are willing to accept that, but I'm not. Their whole world view is different from someone who has conservative values and traditional values as a way of life.

Being focused on yourself, and your rights, and materialism, and no ultimate sense of morality -- because I guess when you believe in a more secular way of life, a more liberal viewpoint, it's all about what you can do for yourself and how you can be happy...and you don't have any belief in absolute truth or religious principles to guide how you live. You get guys who are selfish and into themselves and don't care so much about humanity, other people, or me -- that just leads to a lot of problems. I also have a problem with guys who are into things like getting completely trashed and doing drugs...

Focused on yourself, your rights, and materialism? The irony is delicious. The idea, though, that you need an invisible cloud man to be your moral guide in this world, or you couldn't possibly know how to live a good life is particularly vomit-inducing. It's amazing how many of them actually believe this bullshit.

Another turn-off with liberal guys, at least for me, tends to be 2nd Amendment stuff. Gun rights? I think it's kind of wimpy when guys don't think people should be able to protect themselves.

Right. Because nothing says "man" like some small-dicked wingnut thinking he's hot shit with his expensive penis extension.


So, all you female WTFers... what say you?



Pierce Bush

Write your own caption....
H/T: Watertiger

Free Markets!!

Another obvious sign that the economitude is on solid ground:
Food Stamp Use at Record Pace as Jobs Vanish

Heckuva job, asswipes.

Definitely a definitive Defining Moment

A cease-fire negotiated in and brokered by an Iranian general is yet another “defining moment in the history of a free Iraq.”

The Shiite cleric Moktada al-Sadr on Sunday called for his followers to stop fighting in Basra and in turn demanded concessions from Iraq’s government, after six days in which his Mahdi Army militia has held off an American-supported Iraqi assault on the southern port city.
The substance of Mr. Sadr’s statement, released Sunday afternoon, was hammered out in elaborate negotiations over the past few days with senior Iraqi officials, some of whom traveled to Iran to meet with Mr. Sadr, according to several officials involved in the discussions.
The worst threat to civilization evah, Iran, steps in and meddles in the glorious war by negotiating a cease-fire as the defining moments keep coming:
The fortified Green Zone came under fresh attack Monday, less than 24 hours after anti-American Shiite cleric Muqtada al-Sadr told his fighters to stand down following a week of clashes with government forces. […]
The rocket or mortar attacks on the nerve center of the U.S. mission and the Iraqi government continued more than a week of near-daily fire mostly from Shiite-dominated areas of eastern Baghdad.
The war is over and we Sadr and Iran won. Mission accomplished. Time to get the fuck out.

Excuse me???

Irony-challenged and possibly drunken quisling Joe Lieberman blasts the Democratic Party as "protectionist, isolationist, and very, very hyperpartisan."

What the fuck is wrong with you?????

War hero Saint McCain: why he is the best choice for president

"He's the new JFK!!1!!!!" -- insufferable vichycrat/douchenozzle Joe Lieberman.

(Pic found on teh intarwebs)

Bunnypants' bud backed by al Qaida, axis of evil

Iraq Prime Minister Nouri al Maliki's ties to Iran leaves his credibility, Bush's in the crapper. Well, further in the crapper.

Above: douchewit doesn't read the papers, so it didn't happen.

Uhhh, whoa!

Cranky Lou Dobbs almosts calls black leaders "cotton pickin'":

Nice save! It reminded me of this classic, by fellow bumbler Wolf Blitzer:


Sigh. Anything else, your majesty?

"On his way out of the country, [Preznit 19% Approval Rating] stopped long enough Monday to tell Congress what to do what while he was away: pass legislation he wants on matters of trade, housing and terrorist surveillance."

Honor an' integrity

Bush misadministration's top housing official under criminal investigation.

Bush's Housing and Urban Development Secretary Alphonso Jackson has resigned under pressure, after accusations of improper conduct in awarding federal contracts.

In his press con, he said he was leaving office "to attend more diligently to personal and family matters." Maybe somebody in his family is a lawyer.

The pitch, like the preznint, was high

Via Think Progress: Preznit DisasterPants booed loudly while throwing out the first pitch at the Nationals home opener.

Bush was showered by boos as he strode to the mound. Even after Bush delivered the pitch, the jeering did not let up until the President disappeared from the field:

March 30, 2008

Phenomenal progress!

As we continue to make real progress in Iraq, the Iraqi army starts to desert -- if they haven't already defected to Moqtada al-Sadr's Madhi militia as they ride around the city in U.S. humvees.


Please bear with me as I try to figure out wtf is wrong with this compu +++NO CARRIER+++

March 29, 2008

Maru, its Caturday. Maru, hai Maru, Maru, its Caturday. Maru, hai, Caturday. Maru...

From the interwebs

  • The top ten craziest things John McCain has said while you weren't watching.
  • Obama asks, we answer: The 5 stupidest things Elisabeth Hasselbeck has ever said.
  • Will Ferrell and Courtney Love would have been better casting.
  • Pair of angry 6-month-old kittens chase a 200-pound bear up a tree.

  • March 28, 2008


    Substance abuser will not be meeting fellow substance abuser after all:

    In order not to embarrass Snorty McCokespoon, Washington Nationals General Manager Jim Bowden informed steroidbutt Paul Lo Duca that Tipsy McStaggers would instead be throwing the first pitch to Manager Manny Acta. The White House said it played no role in determining who would catch the pitch.
    LOL. Yeah, right!

    Aw, poopies

    Ohio Dem Attorney General:

    "We have no intention of prosecuting Rush Limbaugh because lying through your teeth and being stupid isn't a crime."

    Ass-sucking blowhole reamed

    Rupert Murdoch buttboy Sean Hannity attacked for his close friendship with neo-Nazi Hal Turner. By a conservative.

    "Why is Sean Hannity lying about his close relationship with a Neo-Nazi who openly proclaims his desire to exterminate and eradicate all Blacks and Jews from the planet?

    "White supremacist--Neo-Nazi Hal Turner was a close friend of Hannity's . . . so close that Hannity gave him his direct, personal phone numbers and invited Turner and his son to visit Hannity on the Fox News Channel set of Hannity and Corpse, which they did.

    "Turner was not only a regular caller to Hannity's WABC radio show, spewing racism on Hannity's airwaves, the two were close off the air. The Nation exposed Hannity's attempted cover-up regarding his tight relationship with Mr. Turner. And Mr. Turner, himself, notes that Hannity is lying."
    Oh, besides being a 'white power' bigot-douche, he's also a plagiarist. Wait, there's more:
    "In my opinion, based on my first -hand experience, I believe Sean Hannity is, in fact, a Hal Turner sort of guy."
    -- Hal Turner.


    Some guy who worked as a choir conductor in Obama's church was found murdered -- in his home -- last year!!!!!

    Please. This is how desperate the fretards are: they're trying to vincefoster b HUSSEIN Obama by posting an old article about a man killed in Chicago's south side and implying it may prove that Obama's gay. Gawd.

    What are you, high??

    Some joker at Time magazine asks how will Fox News remodel itself once the Bush era has ended?

    Fucking duh. Sure, Bush will be gone, but Rove's legacy of smear and slime will unfortunately linger, like the disgusting remnants of an evil, wet, messy dump. It will be a new lease on life for them -- imagine, without Bunnypants' ass to kiss they'll be able to spend all their time in constant, unremitting Dem bashing, 24/7 on and on and on and on. And if McCain is elected? They'll kiss his ass because he has an "R" after his name and spend all their time in constant, unremitting Dem bashing, 24/7 on and on and on and on.

    Last week or so Undie Lib asked me who I'd prefer as the Democratic nominee. As of today, I'd prefer the one who, after being sworn in as President, will rip into every one of those slimy knuckledragging fuckwads that have fucked the country over for so long, rip their stupid dittomonkey heads off and shit down their necks, pound their asses into cabbage, and with the bloody remnants of their shrivelled balls still hanging from his/her teeth, pump the air with a double middle-finger salute, shouting fuck you, dickheads! It's over! You're toast!! And then spend the next 4 - 8 years continuing to shit all over them and their asslubed enablers in the media. I want to see real investigations. I want to see the SCLM's bloody skidmarks as they're unceremoniously thrown out of the WH and Air Force One. I want to see the FCC forced to shut down Fox News when the only people willing to appear on their shows are their stable of trashtalking, circlejerking, frothing troglodytes, one of whom, in their rage, will certainly say something criminal. I want to see Karl Rove and his insufferable subhuman minions hauled off in chains. Oh yes. Oh yes.

    "A victory for the blogosphere"

    -- headline at Politico.

    Thanks to the persistence of progressive blogs and "60 Minutes," a fascinating story now will be scrutinized everywhere:

    The House Judiciary Committee has asked the Justice Department to temporarily release former Alabama Gov. Don Siegelman from prison to testify before Congress in early May about possible political influence over his prosecution.

    Acting U.S. Attorney Louis Franklin confirms the 11th Circuit granted Siegelman’s release in a four-page order which states Siegelman had raised a “significant question” about his conviction.
    He'll be released sometime today. Sweet.


    Shorter David Brooks: "Mmmmrrrfffghhhh!!!1!"

    Typical. Another Tiger Beat-like, one-handed spooge-a-thon from the NY Times' resident clueless conservatard cum-dumpster.:

    "John McCain’s speech on Wednesday was as personal, nuanced and ambitious a speech as any by a presidential candidate this year."
    For a senile, half-dead old psycho it was awesome!!11!!!

    More on today's phenomenal progress!

    Today's headlines almost cause a flux in the space-time continuum:

  • Bush touts 'real' progress as fighting continues unabated across Iraq
  • Attacks rage in Baghdad
  • U.S. forces drawn deeper into Iraq crackdown

    Preznit CrashTestDummy said Thursday he saw signs of progress in Iraq despite "an upswing of violence," despite continued mortar attacks in what should be the safest place in the country, despite fierce fighting in two major cities, despite tens of thousands of civilians taking to the streets in Baghdad in protest, and despite the fact that Baghdad is under curfew.

    Maybe he should let the embassy workers know just how great things are going --
    The State Department has instructed all personnel at the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad not to leave reinforced structures due to incoming insurgent rocket fire that has killed two American government workers this week.

    In a memo sent Thursday to embassy staff, the department says employees are required to wear helmets and other protective gear if they must venture outside even in the heavily fortified Green Zone and strongly advises them to sleep in blast-resistant locations instead of the less secure trailers that most occupy.

    "Due to the continuing threat of indirect fire in the International Zone, all personnel are advised to remain under hard cover at all times," it says. "Personnel should only move outside of hard cover for essential reasons."

    Update: the Iraqi V.P.'s Green Zone office has been attacked in a mortar or rocket strike, and at least one security guard has been killed.

    Another "positive moment": al-Maliki extends the deadline for militias to hand over weapons, as aid agencies fear a humanitarian crisis.

    And in a remarkable turnaround, five civilians were killed and four others wounded in an attack in Sadr City, Baghdad today.

  • Above: arrrrrrr!

    America's 911 Attention Whore to save NYC again

    Gay-loving, baby-killing, cross-dressing adulterous man-whore may replace ... uhhhh ... wait, what's the point of this again??

    Rudy Giuliani is eyeing a run for governor in a special election this fall should Gov. Paterson be forced to resign, sources say. A top adviser to the former mayor yesterday dangled the possibility of Giuliani's running in a special election, into Saks for their spring sale.

    Hagel slams Cheney for being a dick

    Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-NE) rips Dick "I had other priorities" Cheney a new one for his 'callousness towards the public and the troops on the ground.'

    Hagel told NPR's Dianne Rehm on Tuesday that the “So?” comment was not surprising considering Cheney’s “character”:
    "Well, I don’t think it was out of character for the Vice President. I have always believed that leaders should not be governed by polls, and obviously the vice president does and this president has noted that."
    Yesterday, on NPR’s On Point, Hagel again went after Cheney, saying that his sense of Bush’s “burden” in the war is ironic coming from a Vietnam draft dodger:
    "There is a credibility gap here, at least a little bit, with the Vice President, as far as I’m concerned. Here’s a guy who got five deferments during the Vietnam War, said publicly that didn’t work into his plans."

    Progressin' Kickassapaloooza

    Tipsy McSnorty today on his upcoming and latest new "way forward" and surgitude in Iraqnam:

    As this debate unfolds, I ask people on both sides to keep an open mind, and to take a close look at the situation on the ground.
    And from John McSame, the presumptive nominee for Smirky's third term:
    We're succeeding. I don't care what anybody says.
    And yet more from Crawford's village idiot The Commander Guy:
    I talked to General Odierno -- he's the number two man in Iraq. He just came back after courageously serving our country, and he came to the Oval Office, and here's what he told me. He said, he flew over Baghdad 15 months ago and he couldn't see a single soccer game. On his final flight last month, he counted more than 180. Now, that may sound normal to us and we take it for granted, but it is a sign that the surge is working and civil society is beginning to grow. It is a sign normalcy is returning back to Iraq.
    Now THERE is a great sign of progress. Nevermind the 150 dead in the last few days. But wait! The astonishing signs of normalcy are breaking out all over Iraqnam:
    Fighting continues unabated in Basra
    Across Iraq, battles erupt with Mahdi Army
    123 Iraqis, 3 US Contractors Killed; 191 Iraqis Wounded
    Thousands in Baghdad Protest Basra Assault
    Growing clashes with US troops in Iraq
    Baghdad's Green Zone attacked for 4th day this week
    Bombers attack Basra oil pipeline
    Iraqi spokesman kidnapped in Baghdad
    Darth Cheney: So?

    March 27, 2008

    Preznit invites terrist to WH!!!!

    Jew-hating Il Duce-bag has invited Palestinian Authority leader Mahmoud Abbas to the White House in early May, will ask if he's found a new drummer.

    Headline of the day

    "'Nimrod replacement under threat.' Strangely this article has nothing to do with the US Presidential election."
    -- seen at Actual story here.

    House panel seeks testimony of former Dem gov imprisoned by Karl Rove

    "The House Judiciary Committee has asked the Justice Department to temporarily release former Alabama Gov. Don Siegelman from prison to testify before Congress in early May about possible political influence over his prosecution." Mwwaaaaaaa! Oh please oh please oh please...


    Jeebus Hussein Christ

    With 4000 Americans dead, 44000 injured, billions of the US taxpayers' money gone, no end in sight, no wmds, no smoking mushroom clouds, no shiny freedom and democracy, an ongoing insurgency, Abu Ghraib, unending corruption, lies upon lies upon lies by this misadministration, and Snippy the Chimp is scolding Congress about Iraq???

    Somebody bitchslap this motherfucker, stat!

    Waffling Willard McWhitebread stumps with senile old white guy

    The flipflopping gay-loving abortion-lobbyist and dog-abuser, who not that long ago accused John McCain of adopting underhanded Nixonian tactics, has joined his erstwhile rival on the campaign trail.

    Angry psycho John McCain was getting some help Thursday from a tearful Mitt Romney, a pairing that two months ago seemed improbable as the two fought bitterly for the party's presidential nomination.
    In other words, Romney flipflopped again.

    "Come on, dog -- let's pack some fudge!"

    The Bush ecomnitude

    "The economy nearly sputtered out at the end of the year and is probably faring even worse now amid continuing housing, gas, credit and financial crises."

    Above: the Bush legacy. You can't see it, but it's in there.

    Senile old coot works to answer age and health questions

    Straight-talking warrior-maverick Saint John McCain is the ultimate survivor. Not only did he live through 5-1/2 years as a Vietnam prisoner of war and multiple assrapings by Karl Rove during the 2004 election, he also has stared down the deadly cancer melanoma and Joe Lieberman's gray, shrivelled balls. And anyone who doubts his ability to be commander-in-chief is a troop-hating Islamocommiefrancodefeatohomofascistdemoncrap who hates America.

    Voters to media: who cares what you think?

    ♬ Jeremiah was a pastor
    Was a good friend of mine
    The MSM went on a tear to damage me
    But the public wasn't buyin' ♬

    A new Whore Street Journal poll shows that voters are blowing off the SCLM's manufactured, panty-wringing "outrage" over b. HUSSEIN Obama's association with Rev. Wright.
    "The racially charged debate over Barack Obama's relationship with his longtime pastor hasn't much changed his close contest against Hillary Clinton, or hurt him against Republican nominee-in-waiting John McCain, according to a new Wall Street Journal/NBC News poll."
    The Quinnipiac and PPIC polls also have Obama beating Clinton and McCain.

    Phenomenal progress!

    In an astonishing sign of normalcy, 'the US-protected Green Zone was hammered with rockets and mortars for the fourth day this week.'

    Thick, black smoke billowed from inside the heavily fortified home of the U.S. Embassy and Iraqi government. American military officials say the attacks are coming from breakaway factions of anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr's Mahdi Army.
    In another sign of our remarkable turnaround, gunmen blew up yet another Iraqi oil pipeline.
    Oil jumped above $107 on Thursday after saboteurs blew up one of Iraq's two main export pipelines. The attack came on the third day of an Iraqi military operation against fighters loyal to Shi'ite cleric Moqtada al-Sadr in the oil port of Basra.
    Never mind, the insurgency is in its last throes and we're being greeted as liberators with flowers and candy.
    Tens of thousands of supporters of Moqtada al-Sadr marched in Baghdad on Thursday to protest against a crackdown against his followers and call for the downfall of the U.S.-backed government.
    In another of our successful endeavors, we're still bombing the bejesus out of the capitol city.
    U.S. aircraft supporting an Iraqi government offensive against Shiite Muslim militias bombed suspected militia positions south of Baghdad amid intense fighting Wednesday in parts of the Iraqi capital and in the southern port city of Basra.
    And as we see the results of the dramatic changes, our troops are becoming exhausted.
    Behind the Pentagon's closed doors, U.S. military leaders -- concerned U.S. forces are wearing thin -- told Preznit Gameboy Wednesday they are worried about the Afghanistan and Iraq wars' mounting strain on troops and their families.
    But never fear, we are winning.
    McCain’s Iraq victory speech was interrupted by reports of violence in Iraq: While giving one of his standard “we’re winning in Iraq... I don’t care what you say” speeches today, [Saint] McCain was interrupted by MSNBC with some breaking news of violence from that country.
    No, really. And he doesn't care what this guy says:
    The civilian spokesman for the Baghdad security operation -- a Sunni who often appeared with U.S. military and embassy officials at news conferences to tout the successes of the surge -- ironically has been kidnapped and his three bodyguards killed.
    It's a "positive moment"!

    Update: "Terrorists fired 16 rockets into the International Zone from surrounding Baghdad districts in four separate attacks during the morning and early afternoon of March 26. One Coalition force soldier, two U.S. civilians, and one Iraqi Army soldier were wounded in the attack. Several structures and one vehicle were also damaged."

    Another report says an American was killed in the attack. Outstanding!


    Contest entries of the designs for the George W. Bush presidential lieberry being planned at Southern Methodist University.

    Oh Woa Woa It's Magic.....

    What so you get from a hooker for four thousand dollars? The magic vagina.

    A story in last week's New York magazine on Eliot Spitzer (great cover, by the way) contained an interview with Jason Itzler, the self-professed king of all pimps. In the story, Itzler offered a juicy tidbit on Ashley Alexandra Dupre, whom he knew as Victoria, which has kept the blogosphere (and our imagination) buzzing for days. He claims that Dupre had "the most beautiful vagina in New York … Big hedge-fund guys, the heaviest hitters, called and I’d say, this is the girl with the magic pussy."
    The question, of course: What makes it magic? Laser beams? A reflection of the Virgin Mary? Special appearance by Criss Angel? The mind reels, doesn't it? In case you don't believe Itzler, we get confirmation from a call girl named Natalie, who says, "As soon as I saw her coochie, I told Jason, this is special."
    Sounds like someone's been doing her Kegel exercises.
    And I thought just about every one of them were magic. The diagram below explains what a Magic Vagina™ TRULY is.
    Proving once again that thius is a full service blog.

    March 26, 2008

    Excuse me?

    MSM continuous loop: Dems in disarray!!!1!
    Real life: record number of voters flock to register as Democrats.

    The conventional wisdom that a prolonged race for the Democratic presidential nomination between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton is bad news for their party may be turning on its head. Figures released by Pennsylvania's Department of State on Monday night showed that Democrats have topped 4 million registered voters, the first time either party in the state has crossed that threshold. Democrats have added 161,000 to their rolls, a gain of about 4 percent; Republican registration has dipped about 1 percent, to 3.2 million.
    Of course, it could just be that the vile pigboy is telling his dittomonkeys to illegally switch sides again. Fuck it: let's get drunk.

    Oh for the love of crap

    This is what passes as news: MSNBC Live anchor Contessa Brewer has a major orgasm as Saint Ronnie of Reagan's halfdead wife crawls out of bed to finally mumble her support for the republican nominee. B... F... D.

    BREWER: A campaign alert right now -- Nancy Reagan's endorsing Senator John McCain for president. Mrs. Reagan says she typically waits until after the GOP convention to announce her support but says it's clear the Republican Party has chosen its nominee. The highly coveted and symbolic endorsement is a significant boon for John McCain's campaign today.
    Maybe it would have been if there were anybody else running, you stupid cunt, but now? Hardly a profiles in courage moment, don't you think? Fucking cow.

    It's yore money!

    Republicans show that they represent the common man by pushing a tax loophole for yacht owners.

    With California facing a massive $16 billion deficit and teachers being laid off by the thousands, Republicans are supporting a shocking tax loophole for -- get this: yacht purchases.
    In breaking news, Hillary Clinton something something something! Let's get our panel's reaction...

    Substance abuser meets fellow substance abuser

    Drinky McCokespoon, an outspoken critic on the use of steroids, obviously misspoke. He will throw out the first pitch in the Washington Nationals' opener to Paul Lo Duca, who figured prominently in the Mitchell Report.

    In his January 2004 State of the Union address, [Snorty McNoseblow] denounced the use of steroids in sports and called on athletes, owners, and unions to address the issue,” the report noted.
    And leading the way, Preznit Sniffy von Snifflesons will throw out the ceremonial first pitch to starter Paul Lo Duca, whose name is mentioned 37 effing times in the Mitchell Report. Integritude.

    What will we tell our children? If it had been a Dem, the headlines would've screamed "______ _______ supports illegal drug use!!1!!!!eleventyone!!" I am just so sick of this shit.

    Fat sack of crap sucks dripping goat ass

    Rush Limpbag is a fucking pig.

    Knuckledragging troglodytes' circle-jerk leaves foul, spoogie mess on ceiling

    You'd think their moms would complain already. The latest opinion poll over at RimJob's fRetardia:

    Is it probable that Barrack Hussein Obama could have been an active member of a "Black Liberation" church for nearly twenty years without knowing about or believing in their racist anti-America agenda?

  • Yes. Obama is pure and innocent. His historical speech on race was the best speech since Lincoln!
  • No, Obama is without a doubt a product of his long-time spiritual leader and mentor, Jeremiah Wright. His self-serving sorry excuse for a race baiting speech was a disgrace!
  • Undecided
  • Pass

  • Gee! I wonder how the voting went!


    Other things that Joe Lieberman whispered into John McCain's ear last week:

    "Psst...We invaded Iraq, sir, not Poughkeepsie."
    "You're scratching your balls in front of the press corps again."
    "Hey, quit hoggin' the blankets."

    "Is that George Bush's dick in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"
    More at dKos.

    Ruh Roh!!

    From the main front in the war against Eastasia comes great news as The Ministry of Truth is reporting:

    "The cease-fire is over; we have been told to fight the Americans," said one Mahdi Army militiaman, who was reached by telephone in Sadr City. This same man, when interviewed in January, had stated that he was abiding by the cease-fire and that he was keeping busy running his cellular phone store.
    What ever goes wrong in Iraq, it's quite obvious that:
    If it isn't the Iranians meddling, the it's Obama's pastor's fault, inshallah.
    Look on the bright side.
    At least we're not in Iran!*

    * yet

    Big Brother Goes Airborne

    O'er The Land of the Free

    Miami police could soon be the first in the United States to use cutting-edge, spy-in-the-sky technology to beef up their fight against crime.
    If use of the drone wins Federal Aviation Administration approval after tests, the Miami-Dade Police Department will start flying the 14-pound (6.3 kg) drone over urban areas with an eye toward full-fledged employment in crime fighting.
    This is not the droid you are looking for... Move along, move along!

    Bush maintains silence on Tibet riots

    Manly preznit Freedomandemocritude CommanderGuy again remained silent on the arrests and killings rocking Tibet, "leaving it to his staff to call for Chinese restraint and reiterate his plans to attend the Beijing Olympics."

    Phenominal progress!

    As things continue to go remarkably well in Iraq since the start of the glorious surge, astonishing signs of normalcy are taking place, turning the country into something reminiscent of an Indiana market...

    An American financial analyst working for the U.S. Embassy in Baghdad has died of his wounds from an Easter Day rocket attack against the heavily fortified Green Zone, a spokeswoman said Tuesday. Paul Converse, 56, was hit when rockets fired by suspected Shiite militia fighters rained down on the U.S.-protected area in central Baghdad Sunday.
    At least 55 people have died so far in three days of fighting between al-Sadr's Shiite militias and U.S.-Iraqi forces in Baghdad and Basra, officials said Wednesday, and a third day of mortar fire into the Green Zone has left 3 Americans seriously injured. Other than that, we've scored a major strategic victo... wait, what??
    "The cease-fire is over; we have been told to fight the Americans," said one Mahdi Army militiaman.

    Ummm....Fuck What?

    Ball gargling cumrag asshat and Super Tool Tweety blames "politicians like the Clintons" for the decisions that led to the death of 4,000 in Iraq.
    The answer to the headline is Fuck YOU!
    That was the obligatory free first consulation.

    You're welcome, cumbucket.