Joe the Douchenozzle calls on Obama to help Israel

There is no justice. Cuntservaturd cumguzzler Samuel Wurzelbacher, though able to shoot his mouth off with no problem, has so far managed to avoid being shot at. In other news, the omnipotent beings of the cosmos continue to ignore me, and I'm starting to get a little stabby.

From the Obvious desk at the Opinions Are Like Assholes dept:

"President Obama has already spoken about what he would do here. That if his daughters were living here he would take whatever means necessary to protect his daughters. So I just hope he carries through with it, but that is going to be up to him," said Wurzelbacher, hiding somewhere in Jerusalem.

Gee, that's awfully white of you! Next: Larry the Cable Guy reports live from a cave in Afghanistan.

Bonus: the "war correspondent" for pajamas media thinks putting correspondents in war zones is a bad idea. Extra-magically delicious bonus: using some of the worst english evar, considering he's a "war correspondent":

"I'll be honest with you. I don't think journalists should be anywhere allowed war. I mean, you guys report where our troops are at. You report what's happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I-I think it's asinine. You know, I liked back in World War I and World War II when you'd go to the theater and you'd see your troops on, you know, the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for'em. Now everyone's got an opinion and wants to downer -- and down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers.

"I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting. You know, war is hell. And if you're gonna sit there and say, 'Well look at this atrocity,' well you don't know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it."

Thank you, Mr Stupid! And now, here's Tiffany with a cute animal video.

Wurzelbacher, who underwent intense media scrutiny during the campaign, said he was enlisted to cover Israel because he's "an expert on media bias."

"I was on the short end of the stick," like Israel is now, he said.

Oy vey. Excuse me while I pick my jaw up off the floor. What a fucking embarrassment. Never mind Hamas, I'm surprised the Jews haven't shot this moron yet. Or a real journalist.