January 26, 2009

Mmmmmmm, cherry kool-aid...

Conservatards’ 40-minute denunciation of Drinky McDisasterMonkey: He was a ‘knowing liar’ who ‘walked all over us.'

Huh. Just kidding. They completely went down on his chimpy little dick. I feel filthy just posting about it.

In an inexplicable act of total dumbnitude Thursday, Reps. Trent Franks (R-AZ), Mike Pence (R-IN), and Steve King (R-IA) blew their loads all over the floor of the House. I must warn you, please remove all sharp objects from your area, as what happened will disgust and appall you:

FRANKS: Now Mr. Speaker, since it is Jan. 22, and since we have made a great transition in this country, I feel like it is also appropriate for me tonight to say some words in tribute to one George Walker Bush. Throughout his war on terrorism, and our war on terrorism, President Bush often had to walk like a knowing lion — like a knowing lion, Mr. Speaker, through the chattering of hyenas. And endure the incessant insults and thoughtless criticisms of those whose vision only reached to the selfish partisan advantage of the moment.

But if those critics do not devour themselves in the meantime, Mr. Speaker, they may face the bared teeth of an enemy that will make us all wish the lion still walked among us.

Cuttin' brush, playin' GameBoy, takin' vacations, napping, ignoring intelligence warnings, ignoring intelligence period...

PENCE: So I stand here today, not as a vacuous apologist for President George W. Bush...

... which I am!

... but I come here today among other cherished colleagues — like the gentleman from Iowa — simply to say that I truly believe that this nation owes a debt of gratitude to George W. Bush.

If by "this nation" you mean "oil executives," "rich white guys," or "Muslim extremists."

KING: I’m here to say thank you to President Bush for the things that he has done when he’s had his steady hand on the till...

Yeah, like a crooked deli worker with his thumb on the scale.

... of leadership...

** choke ** OMFG You have GOT to be kidding. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!1!

... and especially with our national defense.

Well, except for that whole 9/11 thing, for one. A commenter added:

The legacy these three pinheads are mooning over:

Final tally: 10,100+ Americans DEAD as a DIRECT result of Bush’s incompetence.
(3,000 on 9/11. 1,600 in Katrina. 4,500 in Iraq, 1000 in Afghanistan.)
Debt: $11.3 Trillion
$4.00 gas; $147 oil.
Osama bin Laden still on the loose.


Plus hundreds of thousands unemployed and uninsured. Heckuva jorb, asshats.