February 3, 2009

Always Wrong 2: the Dumbnitude

Doughy pantload Jonah Goldberg, aka Bill Kristol Junior, opens his piehole again:

Day 15 of Obama's honeymoon.

One doesn’t have to break a sweat searching for examples of the news media’s ongoing love affair with our president...

Really? Let's take a look at today's headlines...

Obama's ethics vow at risk
Afghanistan: Can Obama succeed in 'land of the unruly?'
Transparency in Obama administration?

Official: Performance czar withdraws candidacy
PROMISES, PROMISES: No lobbyists except ...

Obama budget official withdraws nomination

Obama’s Pledge to Reform Ethics Faces an Early Test
Obama Pick for Oversight Role Pulls Out Over Tax Issue

But I guess we're just nitpicking. He goes on, in a cheetos-fueled rant of petulance and inanity:

One of the great tests of news media bias is when the storyline has become unfalsifiable. With George W. Bush, no matter what he did, the facts always seemed to prove he was to blame. {Duh. - Ed., facepalming.}

And please. Manly Commander Codpiece, the popular war preznit/folksy cowboy who kept America safe, got a free pass for years.

With Obama, no matter what he does, he's always the hero.

Wait for it...

For instance, during a trip to China in 2005, then-President Bush tried to open a locked door while leaving a news conference, and the press tittered at his buffoonery. Yet last week, when President Obama walked into an Oval Office window that he thought was a door, much of the news media looked the other way — perhaps recognizing his genius at spotting where a door should have been.

Or perhaps not seeing a look of complete and utter boobery on his face as he kept trying to open a locked door. Asshole.

Bush's love of exercise was analyzed as a troubling obsession of an out-of-touch president. Obama's fixation with physical fitness gives numerous reporters hope that he will alleviate America's obesity epidemic. {Citation? - Ed.} In a front-page exclusive, the Washington Post revealed that on Obama's recent vacation, the Hawaiian "sun glinted off (his) chiseled pectorals sculpted during four weightlifting sessions each week, and a body toned by regular treadmill runs and basketball games."

Here's where Jonah ran into his closet-shrine and rubbed one off under a photo of Ronald Reagan. Another hint, Jonass: Obama was on vacation at the time. And he wasn't yet President. Jerkoff.

Then there's Obama's inaugural address, which was panned as pedestrian by pretty much everyone who hasn't drunk the Kool-Aid and was received as the greatest oration since Henry V rallied the British at Agincourt by everyone else.

Again, citations needed. I pretty much think you're full of shit, there, amos.

Since the inauguration, it seems every day brings another article about "Day 3" or "Day 7" or "Day 12.5" of the Obama presidency.

Ummmm, as in every presidency, jerkwad.

And each one reads like a People magazine blog about American Idol.


Everything he does signals hope for peace in the Middle East or race relations or the economy or whatever.

Or whatever. Touche! Jackass. Maybe because things can't possibly get any worse, you stupid flaming pump-hole.