May 8, 2009

Why did republicants lose their appeal?

How much time do you have?

And how can they get it back? Some blithering twathole whose initials are Venereal Disease Handler at the National Fishwrap beats one off in his basement:

Colin Powell keeps insisting that the Republicans lost the presidency because of right-wing extremists like Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter, who, in his view, have become the public face of the Republican party, and thus will ensure its permanent marginalization.

Others argue that the Bush administration had allowed Republicanism to become a cowboyish clique of the selfish who wanted a free hand to make money and let others less fortunate be damned. David Frum offered the novel notion that Rush Limbaugh’s girth, past drug use, checkered marital career, and palatial digs were emblematic of the party’s out-of-touch self-indulgence, especially when contrasted with the athletic, happily married, and transracial Barack Obama...

Oh, and don't forget his Viagra-fueled sex romps with young Dominican boys, his bigoted, misogynist comments, his obnoxious hypocrisy. But whatever. Blah blah blah. Here's the shorter version:

Michael Moore! Ted Kennedy! Jeremiah Wright! John Kerry in spandex! The DMV! The the press demonization of Sarah Palin! The fluoridation of our precious bodily fluids! Everything is all the fault of swarthy welfare cheats and we have to keep telling people that!1!!!

Dude, no wonder your party is in the fucking toilet.