I see the National Repew eds have corpulant fingersniffer Jonah Goldberg writing pieces for their tots nowadays...
What, your TV isn't working? Your morning home delivery of the Moonie Times got stolen? You can't walk down to the local Gas 'n' Go for a paper? Your computer at work killed itself? Lazy fucking idiot. "Staying abreast of the news" = surfing to see what the new rightwingnut talking points are, I bet. Jerkoff.
Don't get me started.
Gosh! Its a good thing the pwincess Liz is there to slay those stoopid demoncraps! An' speaking of nothingburgers, I could weally go for a double bacon an' cheese quarterpounder with extra fries! Asshole.