July 6, 2009

Failin resignation splits GOP even more

"Palin indicates higher calling to national service. And by 'higher', I mean she was probably on drugs when she thought of this." -- headline at fark.

Top Republicans are "expressing befuddlement" at the decision by one of the party's leading assho... ahem, presidential prospects to give up her job. Such as it was, considering she had been spending more time in Faux Nooze studios than in her home state.

"It's astounding," a gobsmacked Republican Sen. Chuck Grassley said on Sunday. "Time is fleeting. Madness... takes its toll."

"To step down on a Friday before a three-day holiday, people are going to scrutinize it, question her judgment," said gpuke strategist Ed Rollins. "It leaves her with less than three years as governor on her resume — not a very strong argument to run for president. The way she did it — the fact she did it — damages her, damages her immensely. People aren't happy about a governor quitting, unless you're Governor Sanford."
Who isn't quitting. The overly-lipsticked pitbull, citing the toll that her self-induced notoriety has taken on her family and her finances, announced her plans to cut and run -- not quietly, but at a nationally-televised news conference, garnering even more notoriety.

Not surprisingly, like everything else she's ever said the promise that she would finally just shut the fuck up turned out to be a lie. In a Facebook posting the next day, Palin wrote that she wants to "help our nation achieve greatness" by making us dependant on Alaskan oil, advancing the idea of smaller government -- small in that it would only include rethuglicans -- and enhance national security, something she picked up watching The World at War reruns.

She later went on the air to deny rumors that she was being investigated for financial misdoings that would have former Alaskan Senator Ted Stevens look like a nun in a wheelchair.