August 13, 2009

I read it in a tabloid so it must be true!

On his way through the checkout line with his basket of Cheetos, Vaseline and batteries, something catches a conservaturd’s eye. Is it…? Could it be true? In between Oprah’s lesbian drug parties and Tom Cruise’s gay dwarf lover… yes, it is! OMG OMG!!11!!

Yep, I was over at freeretardic today, where some idiot posted the following drivel, causing the rest of them to wet their already-soiled Jockeys in joy --

GOOD NEWS! The Natives are Restless and the Masters are Getting Nervous

The current issue of the Globe, (August 17, 2009), one of the most read supermarket tabloids, displays on its cover a photo of a worried Obama with the headline in big type: "Obama birth certificate is FAKE!" The full story appears on pages 30-31.. I didn't read the article, and I don't plan to pay more than 3 dollars to buy the Globe to read it. Actually, I am sure that most of the information about the subject is correct, and most of it may have been copied right from the pages of WorldNetDaily...
But look, look, the seekrit muslin Kenyan is worried! The Globe says so! Right next to that pic of the alien man-eating plant that looks like Michael Jackson!
Shit.

2 comments:

jadedj said...

Do you know was this the same issue with the article about the bat shit on the floor of a cave in Borneo, which formed the picture of a crying Mary? I love that photo. I bid on it on eBay, but didn't have the high bid.

Every time I go to the check out lane at the supermarket, I think of Mary.

Chris Vosburg said...

The thing that puzzles me about the tabloids, is that despite the number of well-thumbed copies in the racks next to the checkout line, I've never seen anyone actually buy one.