Your daily douche

A twofer --

Joe Lieberman calls his mother in Florida. "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," says mom. "I've been very weak."
Joe: "Weak!? How come?"
She says, "Because I haven't eaten in days."
Joe replies, "That's terrible! Why haven't you eaten?"
His mother answers, "Because I heard you’re going to filibuster the health care bill, you contemptuous schmuck."

Q: Why does Joe Lieberman whistle when he’s sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps him remember which end to wipe.