Isn't that cute. After eight years spent kowtowing to the most secretive [mis]administration ever, now they open their worthless cakeholes. Heckuva job, you useless twats.
There are so many things wrong here I... fuck. My head hurts.
December 18, 2008
Today's articles that made me want to vomit in fury
Isn't that cute. After eight years spent kowtowing to the most secretive [mis]administration ever, now they open their worthless cakeholes. Heckuva job, you useless twats.
There are so many things wrong here I... fuck. My head hurts.
Good enough to eat
Burger King selling meat-scented perfume.
"Flame by BK captures the essence of that love and gives it to you. Behold ... now you can set the mood for whatever you're in the mood for."
As long as it isn't fish, I guess. Turkey.
Gun-toting despot admits to war crimes
Vice president Che -- hey! Blagojevich said something! This could be bad news for Obama!!
WTF does he do, anyway
Two years ago, a financial inspector asked Bush's SEC to investigate Wall Street investment manager Bernard Madoff.
Evidently Bush replied "He said 'madoff.' Heh heh heh," then continued to play GameBoy while the country went to hell.
Next: Preznit CrashTest Dummy to award Medal of Honor to SEC chairman Christopher Cox.
Heh heh heh. 'Cox.'
Idiot.
Dictator-tot allowing puppet govt to imprison demonstrator
Popular folk-hero who "showed free speech in a democracy" could face 15 years in prison for throwing shoes
Muntazer Al-Zaidi is facing charges of “aggression against a president” and could receive 15 years in prison if charged with the maximum sentence, said the spokesman for Iraq’s High Judicial Council. Zaidi appeared in court on Tuesday, where he admitted to throwing a shoe at the warmongering murderer at a press conference a few days earlier. Zaidi appeared in court with a broken arm and rib and bruises on his eyes and legs.
Uh, mission accomplitude? So what the hell were we fighting for over there, jerkoff?
Bush to brief Obama on disaster scenarios
"Well, see, here's what you do when the pillow-fort collapses, ya gotta get the ones from th' other sofa. See this? When yer crayons lose their points you kin jes sharpen 'em by rubbing them on this corner of the desk. Heh, you wanna smell something cool? Smell this. Pretty awesome, huh? Jes' don't eat the red ones, they taste funny. Oh, an' when you run outta M&Ms, that guy Wendell in th' kitchen -- ah call him 'Wendy,' heh heh -- he'll bring you up some more. Th' green ones are the best. You might like th' brown ones, though. Heh heh heh."
December 17, 2008
Time wasters
I LOLed at the lint-brush part. : D
Sock and awe
Corpse comes alive to call cunt a "hate crime"
In other news, the syphilitic bint is able to open her hateful pie-hole again.
I don't think so
Tipsy McStaggers trumpets security record, last night's burritos.
Finally on his way out of office, the smirking Disaster Monkey is still trying to burnish his craptacular legacy by bragging that he prevented another terrorist strike against the United States after 9/11 happened. On his watch.But don't expect any in the lapdog media to have the bad manners to bring that up.
Bush on Wednesday was trumpeting his record on national security, emphasizing that terrorists have not struck again since the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001 -- hoping that most people would forget he brushed off the August 2001 Presidental Daily Briefing entitled 'Bin Laden Determined to Attack in the US.'
December 16, 2008
It Was Bound to Happen
The Borowitz Report
Yankees Sign Iraqi Hurler
Shoe-throwing Right-hander Impresses Scouts
In their latest bid to beef up their pitching rotation for the 2009 season, the New York Yankees today signed Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zeidi to a three-year deal worth $32 million.
The right-handed al-Zeidi, 28, impressed the Yankee scouts with his performance in Baghdad yesterday when he threw both of his shoes at President George W. Bush.
While neither of the shoes hit their target, both throws "had great velocity and good movement," said Yankee owner Hank Steinbrenner.
"The first shoe was high and outside but the second one was right down the middle," Mr. Steinbrenner said.
The Yankee boss said that he was also impressed with Mr. al-Zeidi's fighting spirit when Secret Service agents tackled him.
"That could come in handy when we have a series with Boston," he said.
Here's the windup....and the pitch.....
Wednesday Funnies: Shoe Dodging Edition
"Well, folks, looks like we finally found something President Bush is good at. Dodgeball!" --Jay Leno
"As you know, yesterday in Iraq, President Bush was attacked by a 'shoe-icide' bomber. President Bush was speaking at a news conference in Iraq when a journalist threw two shoes at him [on screen: the video of Bush having shoes thrown at him]. You see what President Bush did? You see what he did to keep from being hit? Something he's never done before. Lean to the left. He's never done that." --Jay Leno
"You've got to give Bush credit. I mean, the guy moved pretty quickly. ... Too bad he didn't react that way with bin Laden or Katrina, bin Laden or the mortgage crisis, bin Laden or Afghanistan, bin Laden or the Lehman Brothers." --David Letterman
"Bush was amazing. You see how quickly Bush got out of the way? Bush has been accused of dodging issues in the past, but who knew he could actually dodge shoes?" --Craig Ferguson
I don't think Bush really has dodged anything like that, well, since the Vietnam War." --David Letterman
Time wasters
Here we go again
"It's so cute when the media suddenly decides to get aggressive again, now that a Democrat is coming back into office." -- AmericaBlog.
Sigh. Never mind the past eight years of lies and corruption. Never mind that only in the past day or so Il DuceBag has admitted Al Qaeda wasn't in Iraq before he started his major bloody clusterfuck, that "vice" president Cheney admitted clearing the use of torture on prisoners, that Bush created a giant loophole in the bailout bill for his corporate CEO buddies, that corpulent antichrist Karl Rove still isn't in prison, that McMaverick maverickingly said he may not support his former running-mate in 2012, or that Donald Rumsfeld is liable to be tried as a war criminal for Abu Ghraib.
Fuck that. Evidently the only story is a nonstory. Even though there is not one hint, one whisper, one iota that Obama has done anything wrong in regards to the Blagawhooze case, even though Fitzgerald has completely exonerated him from any involvement, that's not stopping media whores from fellating themselves silly over a total fucking fantasy. CNN's John King is only the latest to go out of his way in manufacturing a link, even though prosecutors have repeatedly and vociferously denied one. Well, two can play at that game, sez Kos:
"John King is from Idaho, which makes me wonder if he has ever had a tryst with Larry Craig, who is also from Idaho. Don’t you see the obvious connection? They are both from Idaho, just like Obama and Blagojevich are BOTH FROM CHICAGO. It is right there in front of your eyes, folks! Will John King be able to prove he has never had sex with Larry Craig in a bathroom stall? We need answers!"
Indeed. Hell, we need to talk to everybody in Idaho, everyone who's ever used a public mens' room. Put it all out there, and hopefully then the chapter is over. Then we can move on, to John King having sex with potatoes.
Fucking media.
moar funny pictures
December 15, 2008
The most wonderful time of the year
Well, we finally got the power back, but the cable's still out. How much of a Blagothon did I (not) miss this weekend? I can only imagine, so I'll stop it right now. I'm sure it was totally disgraceful, though.
With nothing else to do we got the Christmas tree up, sorta, as half our strings of lights mysteriously stopped working since last year. So I never did get to finish. Instead I got to watch the cats, who, when not laying claim to the box tops, were having a ball with the ornaments -- pulling them out of their boxes and rolling them across the floor.
Good times.
We have to get special "cat-safe" ornaments for them every year. This Christmas I'm going to pick up one of those packs of assorted catnip-filled fuzz-toys from the pet store, and chain the tree to a couple of walls. Heh.
Not one of mine, unfortunately.
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