WTF Is It Now?!?

I missed the meteor showers last night because it was too damn cloudy to see anything. I also missed a good night's sleep - Jaffa, who can instantly increase his size and weight on demand, used his magic powers last night to control most of the bed, the covers, and my legs. Then there was Egon, who as soon as I'd fall back to sleep would make a beeline for my neck, latching on like a miniature cat-vampire with his teeth and at the same time shredding my flesh with his little needle-claws.

At least the dog wasn't farting.





VOTE FOR ME! I'M A WEENIE!
Florida governor and state hankie mascot Jeb Bush choked up on the campaign trail Monday as he thanked members of a Pentecostal church for their prayers for his daughter, Noelle, who is in a drug treatment program.

"Every time I think about my daughter, it's very hard. I appreciate the fact that thousands of people are praying for her and praying for our family. I know there are others out there who are going through similar things," Jebbie blubbered. "But thank God I'm a Bush and my kid gets preferential treatment - at least we don't have to visit her in prison. I'd really have something to cry about then."