WTF Is It Now?!?

Democrats skeptical of Bush offer, own relevance
Dems reacted with overwhelming skepticism yesterday to Jebus's Favorite Preznit's pledge to work constructively with them on a second-term agenda, before lapsing into their usual stupor.

Many Democrats said the experience of the first term -- in which they perceive that Bush promised cooperation but governed in a highly partisan fashion -- has left them reluctant to cooperate with Bush unless he takes the first step by moderating his course on such issues as Social Security, judicial appointments and limiting lawsuits.

"They make a profound mistake if they think we're demoralized. We're not going to roll over and play dead. We had a setback, but we're as determined as ever to push our own agenda," said Sen. Byron Dorgan (D-ND), while re-ordering his supply of Astroglide.

"What I heard him say is 'If you already agree with me, I'll let you work with me,' " said John Podesta, White House chief of staff for Bill Clinton. "What are we, fucking terrorists? Great way to bridge the aisle, motherfucker."

"No capitulation," Robert Borosage, liberal strategist, said at a news conference. "After waging the most divisive campaign possible, the president now claims he wants to reach out to all Americans? Tell me another one, asshat."

"Running against the Republicans and God at the same time is almost an impossible task," John Breaux (DINO-LaLa) said. "But I'm leaving, so who gives a shit. Go Bush!"